I think that the first sign of a bad relationship is when you wake up one day and realize that you love the person lying beside you less and less each day. Then the bad relationship of divorce emerges when there is no love at all left in your heart for that person. The realization is intense and you know that you have been living a lie except for the love of your children. So the first thing you do is move out of the bedroom for dignity of self because you would much rather sleep alone than sleep with the enemy. You think of doing what the other commenter did when she just walked off and then returned to get her things, no plans, no preparations; just frustrations from a bad relationship.

All that is left is wishing somehow you had seen the warning signs of a bad relationship years ago and acted upon it instead of enduring more anguish and pain. You wonder how could you not have seen that you were holding the relationship together for years and the person is no longer who you want to be with.

With the realization that you are loving the person less and less comes a new sense of self that you may be better off without the person. I hope that the commenter of the thirty year marriage many more but I must say that by that time, the marriage becomes almost like a holding place.

You want to leave but you have to consider more than just your emotions because by that time, it is not all about you. By that time, the relationship involves children, shelter, financial security and a status of belonging to a family. Divorce would rob the children of a father whose does provide family stability. Being incogizant after years of "taking it," you think that a father figure is great for the children even if you know now that he is not for you. You see the signs of a divorce but you stay more for the children and less for yourself.

It is true, but when completing loan papers,  writing a MRS. in front of your name gives the officer a notion of credibility that he is dealing with a secure family situation. Also in today's society, it is still easier for couples to purchase a home instead of singles. So with maturity comes an examination of the socio-economical indicators of family secuity that keeps you from leaving the bad relationship..

Therefore, you must consider the time element and sacrifices that may arise if you go for the freedom of divorce. Your greatest fear in today's economy no matter how educated, is pushing a cart of belongings for having walked away, emotionally motivated, loveless seeking love but somehow lost yourself and found a world of emptiness. I think that most women have this embedded fear, so they stay more for the children and less for themselves.

You can almost hear Oprah with her billions and carefully unmarried status saying, girl you had better just get out of there and you know you can do it. Don't get the kids involved, you find a job and take care of your family after all this is the 21st Century. Women have come a long way. Women feeling stuck in bad relationships hearing this message, silently listen and then make themselves comfortable in their single beds and so-called security having taken so much that their strength has been drained.

Most of these women have already had long careers and because of the economy, find themselves stay at home Mothers and wives in name only.Their hope for the future is the importance of now and the realization that the bills are being paid and the kids are being fed with a roof over their heads. So women continue living in a loveless relationship more for the children and less for themselves..

Sometimes the strongest does survive and these women who wish they could forsake all reasoning and go for it; avoid the "D" word because of uncontrollable circumstances and yes, women still stay in these bad relationship more for the children and less for themselves.