There was a little itty bitty baby Polar Bear, who said to his mother one day, "Mom, am I really a Polar Bear?"

His mother laughed and playfully nudged him along with her head.

"Of course you're a Polar Bear, sweetie."

"Oh, ok," said the little bear; but he wasn't quite convinced.  So after a while he asked again,

"Mommy?  Am I really a Polar Bear?  Really, really?"

"Why, don't be silly, sweetheart.  You're a bear."

"How do you know, Mommy?  How do you know I'm really, really a Polar Bear?"

"Well, sweetie, it's like this: I'm a Polar Bear, your father is a Polar Bear -- so naturally, you're a Polar Bear, too.  Ok?"

"Really?"

"Yes!  Really!  Now run along and play!"

. . . and tried to play happily with the other cubs. But later, as soon as he saw his father, he ran up to him, and asked in his most polite little itty Polar Bear manner,

"Daddy, am I really a Polar Bear?"

"What? 'Course you are. What else would you be?"

"Oh, I dunno -- I -- " the little Polar Bear faltered, unsure of himself. "I just wondered, you know, if I was -- if maybe there had been -- you know?"

"No, I have no idea. What on earth are you talking about?"

"-- I just -- I mean, really really?"

"Oh, get out of my face, Kiddo -- you're a Polar Bear. You're white, aren't you?"

"Well, I -- oh yes, look -- I'm white."

"Ok, case closed. Run along."

. . . and he wandered and he wondered; but still he wasn't happy. So he went back to his mother, and he snuggled his head against her fur, and said,

"Mommy?"

"Hmm?"

"Mommy, I just wanted to ask you. . . "

"What is it?"

"I was just wondering. . .you would tell me, wouldn't you?

"Tell you what?"

"If I wasn't -- I mean, if there was something -- "

"What, pet?"

"Am I really really -- really and truly a Polar Bear?"

His mother had had enough.

"Yes! You're a Polar Bear! For cryin' out loud, what is the matter with you? Why do you keep asking such a silly question?"

And the little itty bitty Polar Bear looked up at his mom with his big, sad eyes, and said,

"Because. . .

. . . I'm FUCKING FREEZING, OK?"