Getting mad. I do it, you do it, we all do it. Sometimes, it works well. I think we need anger to fuel us to safe places. That emotional push is powerful. Fear, and anger are kissing/whacking cousins. The kiss of fear pulls us to safety, allows us to even excel beyond our capacity in extreme situations. Weak people have been known to lift cars off of the injured, climb high mountains, leap across wide gaps to safety. Others, are not, and perish. Why does either case exist? It's one of the mysteries of our existance.

The other side of anger is the side that concerns me. When teaching an anger mangement workshop to teens, young children, and adults, I developed an activity that helped us learn what to do with this powerful emotion, when it threatens to control our life, robbing our relationships of all that is good.

I've shared this exercise, in hopes that it will help us have power over our darkest self.

Picture something that makes you mad. Really focus on it. Remember it. Perhaps it's an ongoing situation, and you're in the mad zone quite often.

I know it's not pleasant, to go back to that pain, but do it. Tell yourself it's just for a moment, we'll leave it soon. Stand in the middle of that anger, let it wash over you, let it be there.

I remember a time, when someone lied about my husband. In public. To a crowd. I was there. I was livid with anger. I wanted to hurt that person. I wanted to scream and cry and attack him.

Are you remembering those horrid feelings? Even the shock that you, a normal person, could think about hurting someone else? Do you feel like throwing something? Breaking something, cursing, crying?

Name your feelings. Write down at least 10 emotions. Quickly, don't think about it too much.

Take another piece of paper, and draw your feelings. Look at your emotions that you wrote down, and draw what they make you think of. Use color. Draw quickly, take only about 5 minutes.

Now, take a piece of Glad Plastic Wrap, and tear off a big square. Place your paper with the emotions on the plastic square, and then place your drawing on top of the plastic square, and begin to fold it, or roll it. Wrap it up anyway you want, there is no wrong way to do this. Make it small.

Look at it. Concentrate on releasing your feelings, take deep breaths and close your eyes. Let it go. Visualize it on the paper, wrapped up. It's over there, not in your mind now.

Roll your shoulders and tilt your neck. Loosen up. Open your eyes and breathe deeply for 3 or 4 times.

You've just stepped out of anger. It's wrapped up and contained. The next step is to leave it there until you think you can open it back up to deal with it in part. When that time comes, take the emotion paper, and cut off one of the emotions you listed. Look at your drawing. Think about what you can do with that one issue, that one emotion. Can you change what happened? Can you change your reaction? Make the decision and then throw that emotion away if you've dealt with it. If not, put it back in the plastic wrap, to deal with it again at a later date.

This might take several "wrapping and unwrapping" times, but eventually, you'll tire of the emotions and decide to forgive it, forget it, or put it in a journal for history to look at in years to come. (Family history.)

Understand and tell yourself, that some issues of pain, just don't have a solution, and acceptance can heal you. Certain events may always hurt, but can be contained, stepped out of, pushed back so you can function.

All humans, have experiences that we cannot change or control; we must accept our limitations, forgive ourselves and others, and learn to live with it, pushing forward with hope in the passing of time.

Kids in care cannot erase their painful experience of abuse; but they can contain it so that it does not consume their future. We deserve the joy of now, yet can't find it until we put away yesterday.

This concrete exercise helps many people who need that walk down "Containing Anger Lane." Later, it's possible to do this mentally, without the actual drawing and writing. Kids also have benefited from art as a release and expression of pain and anger. It's a powerful tool.

I hope you find contentment, in the day and life ahead. Step out of anger, don't let it defeat you. Don't let the Hell of Hate take control of your time.

Make way for happiness!