The Gradual Wean: How to Stop Breastfeeding
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Forget what everybody tells you, you're really the only one who knows when to stop breastfeeding. Stopping breastfeeding is a personal decision, nobody else's business but you and your baby's. If you need to stop breastfeeding, that means you have been breastfeeding for some period of time, and whatever that was - a week or a year - it was good enough. This article gives practical tips on how to stop breastfeeding. If you need more guidance about when to stop breastfeeding, read I Want to Stop Breastfeeding, Why Do I Feel So Guilty?.
The first thing you need to know about how to stop breast feeding is that there are many ways to approach it depending on your situation. It's important to note that in some cases, it's necessary to stop breast feeding due to a baby not gaining adequate weight, but this is relatively rare. Most women choose to stop breastfeeding for other reasons.
The Gradual Wean
Perhaps the easiest on you and the baby is to gradually move baby from breast to bottle. You can do this by cutting just one feeding at a time. Start with one or two feedings a week. (This is a great excuse to get out of the house and let someone else feed the baby!) The benefit of gradual cessation of breast feeding is that your milk production decreases slowly so that you don't become engorged and the baby had time to adjust to the flavor and experience of bottle feeding. You may want to consider building up a stock of breast milk to mix with formula if your baby seems averse to the flavor of formula.
Many women keep night feedings as long as possible, even when all other feedings are by bottle. Many working women find this to be a nice compromise to stopping breast feeding altogether, and for some people it works. A lot of women love that they can offer the breast once a day. Just remember that everyone's different and not all women's bodies will accommodate this schedule. Go easy on yourself, listen to your own body's cues, and do what feels right.
To relieve full breasts, pump or hand express just a little. Expressing small amounts of milk in place of a feeding will cause milk production to decrease and make you feel better. The less milk you remove, the quicker your body will adjust. One very simple way to take out just the right amount is to take a hot shower. Breasts will leak out the excess milk.
How Long Will It Take?
Interestingly, in my research I tried to find a quicker method of weaning and the advice I found was exactly the same! Therefore, you can go as slowly or as fast as is comfortable for you and your baby. If outside circumstances force you to wean faster than you'd like, that is just something you have to deal with. There really is no magic answer.
Relief For Engorged Breasts
No matter what you do, it's possible you'll suffer from a little breast engorgement. This will pass and fortunately there are some comforting actions you can take.
- Cool cloth or cabbage leaves - anything cold and flexible!
- Express just enough milk to relieve breast fullness, but not so much as to stimulate more production.
- Gently massage breast lumps in a warm shower.
Some Don'ts
- Never bind breasts. Contrary to popular myth, it does not help your milk to dry up. It can cause infections and plugged mild ducts.
- Some women say not to eat oatmeal when you have too much milk.
- Don't expect it to happen overnight.
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Comments
Nice article have a blog at
http://lifeasafirsttimeparent.blogspot.com
where I discuss this weaning issue also.
thank you.i've been breastfeeding for 6 weeks now and i'm utterly exhuasted. not having a husband around to help (he's in the army) and getting nothing done in the process of this experience has made me ready to call it quits. I do feel guilty. But, I've got to do what's best for my stress level. nursing every 1 1/2 to 2 hours for 30 minutes at the time has made me feel ilke a walking zombie.
I wish I had read this hub ten years ago! Great information, and I especially like your perspective about how weaning is a personal decision above all else.
I too wish I had read this article earlier. My baby is only a month old and only if she could latch on I would probably enjoy breastfeeding, but because I have to pump her feedings, (which is a job itself) I'm ready to call quits.
I have been breastfeeding from birth to now and my son is now ten months. How do i get to stop, he has TEETH and its hard to get him to sleep at night.
thank you so much. i have been needing to hear this. i was unable to breastfeed my baby. she is now 5 months old and i have been pumping. i finally decided it was time to stop. I did have a hard time finally making the decision. i felt like i was letting her down, but after reading this i have a new outlook on everything, no i pumped for five months. i did good!
Thanks for the helpful article. I was experiencing guilt that at 3 1/2 months working a full-time job and raising another little one, in addition to the baby I was just exhausted. I really appreciated the comment that this is a personal decision between a mother and her baby. I also found the weaning steps very helpful. It's nice to not feel so alone.
Thanks for this information. I have been breastfeeding my 1 month old son but also supplementing with formula since I was having milk supply issues. I kept going back and forth about stopping breastfeeding. I felt so guilty and so I continued to try. But emotionally, it took its toll and I wasn't enjoying my baby, my husband...I was miserable. So I just decided to stop. At least he got one month of breastmilk right? Your information on weaning was useful. Thank you!
Thank you for this article. My daughter is one month old...I've been wanting to go to formula, but feel so guilty about it. The women I know who have/are breastfeeding don't understand. I feel better that I'm not the only one that doesn't want to continue for months more.
THank you! This was the first article that didn't make me feel guilty for needing/wanting to stop breastfeeding at 2 months.
its been great reading the article, im battling to stop breast feeding my 7month little girl. i feel really guilty and when she cries too much i just give in.
my baby is 17mons and he still brest feeding i dont want to brst feed any more but she refuses to take a bottle what can i do
Thanks for the great hub, Lela! I employed this method of ceasing breastfeeding myself with my first daughter and am employing it currently with my (almost) ten month old. It is very effective for both mother and baby.
I love that you stressed for moms to trust themselves and not feel guilty. Way to go! Mommies have enough guilt piled on, any mother who attempts breastfeeding should be applauded. Whatever amount of time you are able to continue with both you and your baby enjoying it- give yourself a pat on the back.
I also want to encourage those who feel overwhelmed by nursing, the schedule, or are not producing enough milk (as I was), to not feel like it's all or nothing. The method in this hub, reducing breastfeeding and supplementing with formula, can be practiced as long as you want to continue with even one feeding a day, and is a very happy medium.
Thank you, Lela!
You are so right that is your own personal decision on when to stop breastfeeding. This is such a personal issue that each woman should decide for herself. of course the guilt is natural and you will feel it several times during your child's life for various reasons.
Sarah Songing and Ashley Joy: Thanks for the back up ladies!
robin shaw: I would try having someone else offer the bottle. Some babies won't take a bottle from the same person who also offers the boobies!
My baby is 10 months old and Im ready to stop breastfeeding her. Not only does she nurse to eat but also for comfort especially when sleeping. The most difficult time is at night. We tried bottles but at night she fights to nurse.
My "baby" is 2 years old and dont want to give up nursing. I've tried Aloe.. it only worked for 2 days, but after that, she must've gotten used to it and now is back to her norm. This is my 3rd baby and i have been breasfeeding non-stop for 7 years, 1 mo. 3 babies, one after the other. It is time to call it quits, but my baby doesnt seem to want to work with me.. I need help!!
Blessings to you! I can't express the relief that I felt after reading this. I, like so many other women, have those guilty feelings when YOU decide to stop nursing. My mother, whom I love, called me daily with a new "tip" on nursing. I started pumping at 2 weeks and am slowly stopping. My child is 6 weeks old. I suffered from latch issues and infections; pumping was the only relief I got. All this to say I am calling it quits. Although those around you mean well, they are not you and not in your shoes. A baby does thrive on mom's milk, but they also need love and a stress-free environment. Do what is best for you and just think, in a couple years you will watch your healthy child and wonder why you beat yourself up about stopping.
Remember "If mom's not happy, no one else is either"
kay4, I'm glad this helped! We all need to be a little more realistic. Every woman is different and it doesn't support a mother to undermine her judgment. Good for you for sticking it out this long and good luck on the weaning!
Thanks for the insight- I'm planning on going to one feeding a day (at night before bedtime) but am worried that I won't be producing enough for him. He's almost 4 months and he eats 6-7 ounces when we bottle feed him. It's worth a try!Thanks again! We should post this website for all moms-to-be to see because I think I stressed the whole 9 months about how long I would be able to breastfeed since I was going back to work at 6 weeks. It would've saved me a ton of stress!
THANK YOU SO MUCH for this article. It put me to ease... I've had my mom, my mother in law, and friends all give me guilt trips about wanting to stop! My husband is even adament that I not continue. But it has been grueling hell, I resorting to pumping because there is no way my daughter can latch on... and I spoke with a certified lactation consultant. My anatomy doesnt reach far enough into her mouth (to touch the roof) to signal to her to suckle, she hates nipple shields (they gave her something to actual latch onto) so I resorted to pumping and supplementing with formula. That meant lugging a pump everywhere I went or if I left it at home being in pain and rushing home for relief. It got to the point to where I don't even go out because within 2 hours the pain and fullness returns, I continue to try latching on but with the bleeding and cracking that results.... it has been an absolute nightmare. Your article was exactly what I needed to hear (so to speak) it is my body and it is my choice. Ladies we have to stand up for ourselves and not let others make our choices for us whether by guilt or any other form.
NewMommy,
I am in the exact same boat as you. It is so nice to share similar experiences. My first born would not latch on correctly because of flat nipples, so my lactation consultant had me use nipple shields. They worked ok, but were so annoying to constantly wash and have at all times. He would not latch on without them. In addition to that issue, my supply was not abundant and he did not gain weight the first few weeks. My doctor recommended supplementing with formula and he began to thrive. I stopped berastfeeding at 1 month with him and am happy to say he is an incredibly bright and extremely healthy 3 1/2 year old now. I just gave birth to my daughter three weeks ago and have the same issues. This time, I am pumping (she was too frustrated with the nipple shield and didn't get enough milk that way) and feeding by bottle and supplementing with formula. I am in the process of weaning and am increasing time between pumping about an hour every few days (I'm currently pumping anywhere from 1-2 oz every 5 hours). I'm in pain and it's incredibly difficult to pump several times a day with a newborn and toddler in my lap, so I know it's time to stop. It does make me feel guilty that I'm going to stop, but I look at my son and how well he has done and know I am making the right decision for me and my family. Best of luck to everyone and congratulations for giving breastfeeding a shot!!! Every little bit helps!
i want to stop breastfeedin but i'm feelin guilty about due to the fact dat i'm a full time mommy to my 4 mth old and to three lil boys-5yr-3yrs-1yr old. i dont know how to relieve this engorgement. i dont remember wat i did last time
I have been breastfeeding for 15 months. Been trying to get her off her comfort drink for 3 months now. Two days ago I stopped. I explained to her that she had all the milk and that it is finished now. She cries a bit and then get over it. I give her lots of hugs and kisses. I honestly believe that if you are on a demand-feed programme there is only one way and that is to stop. I believe (and this is my opinion) that denying one feed at a time only cause confusion. My little princess is coping well as I am sticking to one of the greatest ground rules : to be consistent.
Talk about GUILT! Everyone pushes breastfeeding so much and if you don't they make you feel horrible! I have tried so hard and just decided to stop today due to my daughter having a milk protein allergy (blood in stool for the last month). I feel like I am letting her down and taking away a HUGE comfort for her-I know it will just take time and that it's probably harder on me than it is on her! And it's not good for her to continue to have blood. I could have tried a super-strict diet, but decided enough was enough and wanted to get her better asap. It's nice to know there are other woman who feel the same as I...
I, too, am happy to find this page. I have had to pump feedings for my 7wk old due to poor latching on and extreme nipple soreness since she was born. I completely sympathize with "New Mommy" about only getting 2 hours away before I have to rush home and pump. Either that or suffer miserably. My husband I had a dinner & movie date night (our first in months) and the entire time I was watching the clock knowing I'd be in total misery if I didn't get home in time to pump. Some date! I have literally felt like a miserable milk machine...and guilty for it. Now they think she may also have a milk allergy! I have been on the verge of mental breakdown from the pumping schedule and have to return to work next week. I really don't think I can handle any more stress. I want what's best for her, but having to work and take care of my other kids makes me feel even MORE inadequate because I am so emotionally fragile. I don't want to snap. I'm proud that I breastfed for 7 weeks and gave her a good start. I breastfed my other 2 girls for about the same amount of time. I just don't think I'm cut out for the long haul when it comes to breastfeeding. I'm going to hold my head high and opt for a good, pediatrician recommended formula. Best of luck to the rest of you, too!
Great hub! Good info… 5 *
My hub is on which a good diet for breastfeeding, which foods to avoid etc.
i am vey tired of breastfeeding my child is almost 2years now and im triying to stop breastfeeding her but she refuse to so she loves breastmilk more than anything smetimes she most of the time she is lacking appitite she does not want to eat she only want to be breastfed please help!!!!!
i am vey tired of breastfeeding my child is almost 2years now and im triying to stop breastfeeding her but she refuse to so she loves breastmilk more than anything smetimes she most of the time she is lacking appitite she does not want to eat she only want to be breastfed please help!!!!!
snrp says:
17 months ago
very good and helpful information.