Ladies, you all know the man I am talking about. He is tall, dark, handsome, seemingly cocky, and when he opens his mouth you know beyond a shadow of a doubt his self-assurance is really running on empty. He is nature's famous, but silent buzz killer, the handsome, insecure man.

This is truly the greatest tease on the face of the earth: the man who seems practically perfect in every way, then reveals himself as having no more confidence or sense of self than a bath towel. I had the privelage - or should I say the misfortune? - of meeting such a man recently.

He is tall, handsome, mysterious, and drop dead gorgeous. He came across as Mr. Cool - lighting up the room with his popular-frat-boy attitude and "I'm-way-out-of-your-league" vibes. I was in awe. I was stunned. I was speechless.

And then I heard him speak.

And bless his heart, he was not the James Bond that he projected but really a Woody Allen.

On the one hand I feel bad for men like this. Those who have the whole package but lack the confidence or sense of self to really use what their mama gave them. A part of me feels like maybe they just need a good woman to tell them that they are worth it and believe in them - then they will be OK.

But on the other hand, I am frustrated by men like this. They *do* have it all. All of their lives they have had women throwing themselves at them, willing to do whatever it take to be near them. This power has probably given them popularity and notarity among other boys, and they were probably the pitcher on the baseball team or the most popular boy in school all their lives. Why should I pity them?

Maybe what it really comes down to is the fact that when living Greek Gods like this talk to us mortal women, our first thought is that we have done something right, that we have reached a new level of achievement in our lives. Then when we get to know them we realize that they are usually more insecure and lost than we are, and that the way we fretted and oohed and ahhed was really unfounded. Joke's on us: we judged a book by it's cover, and in fact maybe were really judging ourselves.

Because when anyone feels out of their league in the presence of another person, it is really a feeling on insecurity and unworthyness. So from the start, women who get all gobble-mouthed over handsome men and are disappointed when they turn out to be insecure - isn't the joke really on us? We are insecure in ourselves to think that men of a certain look or caliber wouldn't want us - but we are turned off by their own insecurity.

So here we are, here I am, judging handsome, insecure men, for the fact that I am insecure to begin with about the fact they might be interested.

Is this the modern media that has put us in this position, or is it some greater, more painful human truth at work?