I work at a local supermarket. The pay is pretty lousy, the hours are long, and there are no weekends off. There are some benefits though.

For example, a few months ago I was packing out vitamins when I was abruptly stopped by an older woman who insisted I follow her. I had noticed her heading towards the restroom fifteen minutes or so earlier but thought nothing of it at the time. We turned the corner and she swung the door to the ladies room open and and in a shriveled old voice yelled, "You should be ashamed of yourself!". I must warn anyone who is even remotely squeamish, please... please don't read any further....

Last chance ...

OK ... you asked for it. When I peered around the corned into the ladies room, I saw what appeared to be brown paint splattered all over the toilet and wall. But that didn't make sense ... why would someone splash paint all over the .... Oh ... wait ... oh, god. To this day I have no idea how anyone could have done that.. I mean, I have no idea how anyone could have physically done that. I looked at the old woman and said, "Ma'am, unless you spent the last 15 minutes investigating the feces ... than I'm pretty sure that you are the artist behind this masterpiece."

Her face turned a bright shade of red and she stormed off. As disgusted as I was ... at least I wasn't the custodian.