Okay, I don’t recall making any plans for these people, other than getting the Hell out of here.

“Explain to me please, this plan of mine?” Oh, this should be good. The look of shock on his face isn’t very reassuring.

“You…you are not aware of The Plan?” White as a ghost; would that phrase apply well here? This could play out very badly for me. With my trusty ticker thumping in my chest, I wait for him to continue. After several moments, he doesn’t. This is playing out like a bad blind date. Sigh.

“What Plan?!” I’m probably toast here anyhow. Why not act out? Larthan suddenly departs and makes a beeline for the largest tent in the encampment. Fine; I’m outta here. I get up to leave, when I notice out of the corner of my eye that a few of Larthan’s compatriots are heading my way.

What are those; spears in their hands? Oh, come on!  Looks like they’re not going to let me go anywhere. Hmm, we’ll see about that! I’m guessing that it’s about forty feet to the edge of the woods and I’m home free. Noticing that they’re coming at me at a fast clip, I make a run for it.

Holy crap! I’m outrunning these guys! Uh, where to next? I scan the woods and realize that I’ve no idea where I’m going. Let’s see: I remember the Tenders headed west when they left me last night. My watch is dead and the sun is directly overhead, so no chance of dropping to the ground real quick and making a sundial before my escorts catch up to me.

Look around, Jimmy. Any footprints, wheel marks, horse droppings, anything? Damn. I chance a quick glance backwards and see that my pursuers are nowhere in sight. Well, doesn’t matter, I’m running like a Russian racehorse on the Fourth of July anyhow. Man, these woods are pretty deep! I check to see if my other knife is on me. Ah, there it is. In my boot where I left it; they didn’t even bother to check.

I guess I’m not as graceful as I would like to think I am, as, while I was checking for my knife, I tripped over my left foot and went tumbling to the ground. As I lay there, I hear absolutely nothing in the forest but my heavy breathing. That’s not good. A cricket or bird or something would be nice. Nope, Nothing. I clutch my knife as though I were a soldier behind enemy lines in some cheesy war movie, only I’m not an actor and my life really could be snuffed out at any moment.

Calm down, Jimmy; get your wits about you. There still are no audible signs of my pursuers, so I once again get up on my feet. Um, good; no breaks or sprains. A few miles from me and that encampment should do me well enough. I slow down my pace from earlier and keep on vigilant guard.

A thought occurs to me; where am I going to get food and water? I don’t even have that oatmeal stuff from last night anymore, nor do I have any container to store water should I find a spring anyways. Great. Hmm, perhaps if there’s a thickening of vegetation there might be a water source nearby?

After traveling for what seems like an eternity, I hit paydirt; a waterfall! Cue the angelic music. Running like a schoolboy I drop to my knees on the water’s edge and, cupping my hands, drink like a raving lunatic. Oh, this stuff tastes so good; like the spring water in the mountains of my hometown; clean and cold. Ahhh. One down; one to go. I soak my dirty, sweaty face in the lake. You’d think I hadn’t bathed in days by the way I look.

A careful scan of the area proves fruitless. I can’t find anything that will serve as a container in which to store water. Ugh. Fine; if I can’t find anything anywhere, I’ll just come back here and set up camp. Well, at least I still have my lighter. Food; I know I’m going to be hungry soon; no surprise there. Huh, Chestnut trees; no kidding? There’s supper.

I walk over to the ground near the cluster of trees by the lake’s edge and scoop up a generous handful of nuts and get to stuffing them in my pockets. Several more of these handfuls and I’ll be good for a meal or two. Too much of the stash and I’ll look like some overloaded squirrel. Ha! A giant squirrel singing Nat King Cole! Precious! I sit down against a large tree by the shore and rest up for a few moments.

I must have dozed off. Damn. A familiar voice punctures my happy place.

“Ah, there you are friend.” Oh, hello smiling, bald, half-naked goddess. The eyes, Jimmy, remember she has eyes. I make to rise to my feet.

“Please, no, don’t get up; I’ll sit with you.”  She sits down next to me and grins. “You’ve given us quite a scare, what with you being abducted by the Hairy Ones and then escaping.” She chuckles. Oh, yeah; I find that downright amusing topless Godd…Oh, for God’s sake!

“What is your name anyhow?” A little harsh there, Yimmy? She, to her credit, doesn’t even flinch at my outburst.

“My name is Searra. I am the Tender charged with overseeing your every wish.” She answers confidently. My every wish, huh? How about letting me out of this crazy dream?

“My every wish?” She nods slowly, never taking her eyes off me. “Fine, then tell me of this Plan of which one of the Hairy Ones spoke.” She smirks.

“You mean Larthan, don’t you?” Nice. What do you guys follow each other around all the time? “You did notice that those who were chasing you stopped their pursuit?” I had noticed that. I just thought that I outran them.

“I have.” I can be so wordy some times. Searra chuckles softly.

“You have crossed over into our territory, therefore they called off their endeavor.” She bends down and grabs a Chestnut and, expertly cracking it open, munches it lazily. “This is where our lands begin. Just over there…” she points to an area a few hundred yards westward into the woods. “Is where their lands end; lucky you.” My goodness, she’s cute.

“So, I’m your prisoner again, then?” I sigh heavily. Her smile drops into a frown.

“Oh, no; you are our esteemed guest, James Andrew Pattison.” She announces proudly. Okay, well, a cage by any other name is still a cage, right? Just then, another one of the Baldies comes walking over to join us. He sits down against an adjoining tree.

“Splendid; then if I am your esteemed guest, do tell me about this Plan, hmm?” I respond sweet as sugar. The man then looks over at topless hottie.

“If you’ll come with us, we can explain everything to you there.” He nervously states. They both get up and motion for me to follow. Sure; why not?

Might as well just get this over with.