THE KEEPER

Walking in the alley alone can be one hell of a frightening thing, but what choice you got? It aint like there’s any other routes to take when you’re going to see the Keeper. And it aint like you get to see him anyways; it’s like all get to see is this blurry figure behind a semi-transparent curtain, smoking like a fiend.

The keeper runs the streets. We all gotta pay him tribute once a month. And if you don’t, well something’s bad is supposed to happen to you. They say the Keeper is an evil thing from the Heart of Africa - a thing so terrible that even taking him into sight can kill a man. Well, I’m fed up with all that bull. Now, I’m about to expose the Keeper or whateveriz’ his real name for the fraud that he really is. I got a wife and three kids who rely on me for god’s sakes! And I’m supposed to come up with dough every month for sumkindadude I never seen! Well, sheeks, I aint sucking up no more!

(5 minutes later)

He angrily crashes into the Keeper’s domain, walks up to the curtains, and in a fury yanks it open. As the smoke slowly begins to clear up, time seemed to freeze all around him; then he began to see. O yes, he did see. But to god, he wished he didn’t; because now he knew he would never see his wife and three kids again. Before he died he couldn’t help but think - I should have paid the damn monthly tributes.

THE GODHOOD

The Guru travelled the four quarters of the Earth in his quest for Godhood. He had climbed the Andes Mountains and communed with the Aukis, he had channelled powers through them. He had been to Tibet, where he had been ‘blessed’ by the Seven descendants of Baghrah the Blur. He had wined and dined with the Naga and Nagini in India, who being so pleased with his visit, had after placed on him the Spirit of the Cobra – the power to will and command any snake to do your bidding. He had seen all sorts of creatures – creatures you could only read about in a fantasy tale. He had seen them all, but one creature was left to see...the only creature that could give him the only piece of information he needed in his quest...the creature that could tell him for sure, if he would attain Godhood...the Volva.

The Volva, an ancient demon-prophetess, long dead and forgotten...whose grave no man could find. The Volva hadthe answer to every question in the Universe. But one had to resurrect her first to obtain an answer from her. After giving her answer, she would go die again. Awaiting another resurrection...

The Alchemists of Belial had shown him the way to the Volva, swearing him into a blood oath with their Order. It was instant death to defy the blood-oath – even for a Wizard of the Perfect Sorcery such as himself.

He had the found Volva’s grave in the midst of clefts, in an ethereal oasis locked away somewhere between the East of Eden and Gomorrah. He smiled evilly to himself, and then he uttered the dark incantation. The words are too heavy for me to put into writing, or else they will slay the reader. As he uttered the ancient words taught him by a million Djinn, the winds began to blow heavy dusts into his eyes, but he wouldn’t even blink. Then a crashing, thunderous crack of a sound, so sharp it nearly deafened him, if not for his superior being. The Volva flew out of the ground, suspended in mid-air, her ragged-clothes flaying ferociously, revealing an ugly, burnt-up old skin...

eeeeEEEEEEEE!!!! Screeched the Volva. But the sound didn’t seem to come from her hollow mouth – it came from everywhere, encapsulating him every side, just like the force of the wind.

His eyes are full of sand, but he still wouldn’t blink.

“O Gracious Volva, I greet thee!” I say Gracious my ass! I’ve seen the Volva, and hey, it makes Medussa into a wife-material. No kidding.

“Grant me the knowledge to my quest...shall I indeed attain Godhood?” The Guru breathed in a whisper.

Time is suspended. Even the dust flying all around seemed to hang in mid-air...a gazillion atoms.

One thing the Djinn and the Alchemists neglected to tell the Guru was that a negative answer from the Volva would instantly slay a man. They always leave out important bits of information like that, these magical beings!

Naaaaaaaaaaay! Screeched the Volva, then, heeee heeeeeeee heeeeeeeeee heeeeeeee! She fell back inside her grave.

Nothingness followed the Guru.