The Koala and the Lizard
65
Bloody Hell it's seems Iv'e always godda warn ewes abart somethin or udder. This ear joke's got a mention abart drugs (yawn) but no sexy bits mind.
So if the mention of drugs off ends ewes nickorff and read somethin else. Ok me dutees done.
Ok I hope you appreciate a bit of Aussie humor,so ere's a joke from your old mate Hairy. It's not the funniest joke i've ever heard but it's the funniest one I've heard today, and it's clean. ( So half of ewes can leave now )
One day there was this koala sitting in a gum tree, minding his own business...... He was just kicking back, smoking a joint....
Now in the Aussie bush we have lizards, and by chance one was walking past the tree (the tree with the Koala ,dummy) , he looked up at the Koala and said,
“G'day mate! What are you doing?”
The koala feeling quite relaxed and happy said,
“Just hanging around having a puff, why don't you come up and have some.”
So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints.
After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was 'dry' and that he was going to get a drink from the river.
The little lizard was so stoned that he leaned too far over and fell into the river. As luck would have it a crocodile was swimming down the river, saw this and swam over to the little lizard and helped him to the side.
Then he asked the little lizard :
“Crikey little lizard what's the matter with you?”
The little lizard explained to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile said that he had to check this out and walked into the forest, found the tree where the koala was sitting still puffin on a joint.
The crocodile looked up and said :
“Hey Mate!”
The koala looked down at him and said :
”Wooooohw dude...... How much bloody water did you drink?'
Funny Meter : Just how funny did you think this joke was ?
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Comments
Goodonya mate, I mite dao a roo next ime waddya wrekon ?
Glad ewes likt it.
Sshhhh. I love jokes like this. Please don't tell anyone...
Tom old buddy , me an youse is like that.==! Mum's the word, just between me , youse and the gate post.
Oh an Cris....and..
Matilda,
Youse, no more aussie jokes. Jee ... youse a lawfin' gas!
Naz,naz,naz...ewes jest knot holdin ya mouth rite.
ewes havta keep ya lips and teeth together. Itsta keep out the flies mate.?
itsniztaseeewes agin. doya geddit.?
Jeez Matilda,
Youse see, last tym me checked youse mate lawfed with teeth closed and tongue out *likes romanticizin' with toads*
Youse again 'bungee dip jumpin' mate?
naz , mate ewes is gettin betta alldatime jest need more pracktice.
er and ya don't go kissin no toads ok.
mate ,an them bloody Kiwis are the mad bastards that invented the bungee. btw what do you call a bloke who's bungee was too long ?
'shorty' !
Matilda,
youse see, ewes mate got a thing or two for toads - not the golden ones, they aw bloke royalties and ain't good at relationships.
I say the bloke would be called 'sheila's dumped-shorty'.
hey hairy, I want some of that stuff naz is smokin. ?
Oh Hairy that was funny, it hit the spot I can tell you.
So it woz the koala wot swiped me "special tobacca!"
Strewth blondepoet shaw, glad I could make ya appy, now youse mite jest haffta show me wat spot I it ? ;-)
Yeah, my ewes ran down the paddock when they heard talk of some hairy assed Aussie stalking strine, getting their knickers off to administer some drug.
earnestshub, sh, mate if youse don't tell nobody I won't. deal cobber !
Oh my Hairy lets just say it was a piloerection. Wink
Now Cindy me old sparring partner, would it be ewes gettin ya knickers orf or wood it be youse gettin ya knickers orf ?
And we don't do noneathat administerin stuff round ear. No mam we are non-denom e national we are !
Crikey GP me little pilo ain't been erected for donkeys ages. but all this yacker and winkin goin on is enoughta give a guy goose bumps.
Hahaha oh you are so smart Hairy I can't pull one on you......(hugs)
Hey blondie thanks for the hugs and one back at ya.
I ave ad many tryin to pull one on me but its mainly the good lookin one's that get lucky ;-)
Very funny Hairy!
Now Ag says I gotta b on me best beehavya with this visitor cos she's a reel ladee. And man she's not half good lookin two.
Well Hello there Ms.gwendymom very nice of you to visit and leave a nice comment, thank you very much for droppin in.
hows that Ag did i do good.
Matilda,
Youse no 1 , no 2 , youse flirting 3 ladeez! And thwen ewes complain youse Sheila left!
Well shucks me little buddy naz, Im not one of them braggin types but some of us ave jest got it.
n sum of youse jest ain't. ;-)
Jeez Matilda,
*rolls back 'er tong*
That was funny!!! Koala talking tothe alligator and believing he was the lizard. lolololo :)
Now there's something, a beautiful woman and not afraid to show she has brains to match her beauty.
G'day AEvans thanks for having a laugh at the joke, I thought it was funny too.
Naz its hard to take someone with a water melon on their head all that seriously. ;-)
btw being the uneducated bastard that I am what's you "tong" ?
Your tong is the pink little mass that's left after your Sheila bit off the bigger mass while she saw ya flirting Hairy , my tong is what I use to romance with toads 'cause guess what 'they dont have teeth'! :D
P.S. If only you had taken the 'melon' seriously you'd still have a .... 'tong'!
"Bloody Awful"?? Who da heck voted "Bloody Awful"??? I'm still laughing! Ok, so maybe you could have put a line in the poll
"I am laughing cuz it's funny and I have a secret crush on Hairy and can't live without his humor and that sexy accent of his, and anytime he tells a joke I fall over laughing till I cry and my sides hurt"
I would vote for that one!
I'm still voting for 'funny!!!'
Disclaimer
The producer of this fantastic Hub wishes to assure viewers that no animals featured in this Hub where mistreated or forced to use drugs of any discription. All the smoking of joints was added by using an image manipulation program. We do love our animals.
Cris A says:
7 months ago
That was some strong stuff that joint is! Crocs and koalas, but where's the kangaroo! Had a laugh and voted too, thanks Hairy for sharing :D