One of the thoughts concerning our dream life and ideal existence is this so called law of attraction. Some of you may have heard of it: there have been countless books written on the whole process, yet many of them make the idea sound as if it were... arcane. It's as if it's a magic spell-- some sort of voodoo ritual that will enhance your life and bring you all your wildest dreams. I don't think that's a fair way of presenting it, and it alienates the one group that really needs it the most: all you pessimistic, cynical funsters out there who instantly dub this sort of fluffy happy dream talk as nonsense.

With the way people describe the law of attraction in this religious, spiritual way, I can see how many get put off when they begin to feel it conflicts with their belief of the universe. Even to me, someone made of sparkles and bubbles, feels like a lot of the talk sounds a bit out there as the power of the law of attraction is argued more than explained in a simple way.

Truthfully, the law of attraction is frightfully simple:

1. Decide what you want.

2. Acknowledge that you want it.

3. Keep conscious of your want and it will cause your actions to gravitate toward getting that want and allow you to be more aware of opportunities to snipe.

You're never going to get what you want until you make the conscious decision to allow yourself want it so you can find it. That's all the law of attraction is.

Simple as it is, most people get themselves stuck at step one. Because it's so simple, most people assume they already do it-- and they don't. Chances are, you're either not being specific enough about what you want or you're not allowing yourself to admit what it is you really want.

"After a time, you may find that 'having' is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as 'wanting.' It is not logical, but it is often true." -- Spock, Star Trek

"I want to make money."

"I want to be successful."

"I want to find my soul mate."

"I want to be pretty."

None of these things are specifics. They're weak. They're not dreams, they're wishes: things you think will make you happy by having rather than things you know will make you happy by doing.

Even if someone did give it to you, it probably wouldn't even want you imagined it to be, because you haven't imagined anything. If you say you want to be successful, you haven't specified what you want to be successful doing. You haven't told yourself, specifically, word for word, detail for detail, where you imagine yourself sitting on your successful chair, and what it is you would be doing every day with your life, and how it is you would have climbed to that spot. You never decided where that success would come from. You just expect "success" without the living, the breathing, and the doing. You can't attract something you haven't defined.

I'll tell you a secret. You already are successful: you're very successful at the life you've chosen to live right now. Now you need to consciously choose something else if you expect it to be any different.

Wanting is fun, because you can imagine life will be different once you get it. But it won't be. What makes life good is living it, not merely having it (else we would all be happy by default!). You need to imagine how you want to spend it, not just some arbitrary goal that sits at the end.

The law of attraction is simple, but not easy-- it's kind of like Tetris after the game goes on too long. We often don't know what we want, or have been trained to believe we couldn't possibly want it, or couldn't possibly have it. We're taught there's a certain way life is supposed to be, and that the best way to be happy is to just accept that. That might work okay for some people; it never worked for me. And it probably won't work real well for most of you. There isn't just two or three ways of being happy. There are over six billion: one for everybody.

Finding and admitting to yourself what you want can be frightening. First, you have to admit what you have right now isn't what you actually want. Don't fall into the trap of thinking it was a wasted effort. Knowing what you don't want is an excellent first step toward knowing what you do want. And there may very well be pieces you have that you want and enjoy living out. You just need a little more to address a few unanswered songs in your heart.

If you honestly have no idea where to start, then look to what gives you joy now. Why do you get up in the morning? Whatever it is, no matter how foolish it sounds, it's okay to want that, and to put your effort into it. If you're a woman and enjoy being a homemaker for your husband and kids, don't let the rise of feminism tell you that you can't be happy doing that or you're a traitor to your gender (that kind of goes against feminism, by the way). On the flip side, don't settle for that because your traditionalist family told you that you should be more than content in that role when, in fact, you are not. Some situation, different wants. Different people.

In fact, you may already have exactly what you truly want, but if you don't admit it's okay to want, enjoy, and live it, then you'll continue being miserable. Let go of the expectations of others. This is you. They don't have to live your life for you: you do.

Reach deep. Find what you want. Admit that you want it. Believe you can have it, and live like you're going to get it.

You'll get it.

That's the law of attraction.