Today I decided to add to my list of things that are totally evil.

1- Cars

2- Baths

3- Vets

Today I went to the vet. The evil man in white. This was an experience I will never forget for as long as I live.

     The day started out good enough.  I got extra treats for breakfast, and even got to play with my human outside.  She is so funny. I bring her the worlds greatest trophy, a 'tennis ball' and as soon as it touches her it goes FLYING away.  It is a lot of work to keep the ball with her, but I finally wore it out enough that the last time I gave it to her, it stayed. 

     Then she put that evil rope on my collar and pulled me into the car.  Ohhh I hate the car.  What followed just re confirmed how evil that car actually is. 

     You see we came to a stop finally at this building.  The smell was so interesting, yet kind of scary.  I could smell other dogs, cats and other animals I couldn't even identify, but the worst was I could smell the fear radiating off the scent marks everywhere.  No matter how hard I sniffed I couldn't understand what the fear was from but fear was there none the less. Then I met the man in white and I no longer needed to wonder where the fear came from but why there wasn't more.

     You see, I was pulled, against my will mind you, into the building and then into a tiny room with a huge metal table.  My human put me up on the table, which was so slick and slippery I was terrified I would fall off.  But my human, being the loving human she is, held me and whispered sweet, comforting words in my tiny folded ears.  I hope she took the brief lick to her cheek as a thank you, cause that was I was able to give at the moment. I was trying too hard not to pee.

     If THAT hadn't been bad enough, the man in white came in.  At first I liked him, he patted my head, and looked into my ears.  He was so very calm and reassuring.  Then, he turned to my backside and lifted my tail.  For a second I was VERY impressed that he was going to sniff.  Not even my own human had sniffed my butt so I was kind of awed.  Then he  stuck something IN my butt.  What the hell is THAT all about?  Poop comes out, NOTHING goes in there.  NOTHING.  I tried telling him as much, boy did I ever try.  I whimpered and whined and cried and screamed and squirmed but my human, though her eyes were sympathetic she wouldn't let me go.  I just wanted to bite the man in white like I NEVER wanted to bite ANYTHING ever before.  I felt so... violated.

     Then to make matters worse he stuck me with a bunch of metal thingies while I was still indignant about the violation of my butt. Ohhh he had the NERVE to actually pat my head and tell me I was a good boy.  If only he had gotten a little closer I would have showed him how good a boy I can be...

      The vet.. is... EVIL.. trust me on that...

Next time someone pats you on the head and looks in your ears, PUT YOUR TAIL DOWN.  For the love of all that grows PUT YOUR TAIL DOWN.  Tuck that baby between your legs and protect your poop shoot!