The Most Boring Hub In Hubpages History
66ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Yawn! Some Hubpages Are Really Boooooooring
I've been suffering from some pretty fierce insomnia lately, Pills don't work, meditation doesn't seem to be doing it for me and warm milk just makes me ill. I decided to find some really boring hubs and find out if they'd help put me to sleep for the evening. I found many. I even saw a couple I might be able to use as anesthetisia should (Heaven forbid) I ever require surgery. There is an ocean full of bad hubs on Hubpages if you know where to look. These hubs would put you to sleep faster than George Bush ducking during a shoe attack..
But......
Being the nice guy I am, there's no way I'm going to link to the boring hubs available for your napping enjoyment. That just wouldn't be nice. I'm not going to insult anyone by saying their hub isn't for those who wish to remain alert. What I will do is lay claim to the title, "Most Boring Hub on Hubpages.com" This is it. You're reading it now. It is definitely the most sleep-inducing hub in the history of the entire site.
Unless....
You'd like to challenge me,
How do I do that, you ask?
Easy. Come up with the most boring title for a hub and I will award you the coveted title of Most Boring Hub on Hubpages.
The Official Rules Are Below
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STOP SNORE SNORING AND GET A SILENT NIGHT SLEEP TONIGHT
Current Bid: $23.78
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KING 9LM SELECT NUMBER SLEEP COMFORT ADJUSTABLE AIR BED
Current Bid: $1799.95
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Justin Bieber Mrs. Justin Bieber sleeps Bed Pillowcase
Current Bid: $13.99
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Sleep Angel - New! Best Chin Strap - Stop Snoring Now!
Current Bid: $39.95
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QUEEN 9500 SELECT NUMBER SLEEP COMFORT ADJUSTABLE BED!
Current Bid: $1804.95
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12" KING 5.5 MEMORY FOAM MATTRESS BED SLEEP SYSTEM
Current Bid: $337.50
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OFFICIAL BORING RULES
The contest is open to all current Hubpages.com members (or new members who wish to open a Hubpages account) who believe they have written the most boring title for a hub, ever. Remember, you don't have to write a hub. Just come up with a title that will immediately cure insomnia and write it in the comments section below. You may enter as many times as you wish. The contest will run from now until December 31, 2008 at midnight.I will either choose the winner, myself or form a panel of 5 impartial hubbers who will vote to determine the winner. In the even of a tie, two main winners will be chosen.
The winner will receive bragging rights as the author of: "The Most Boring Hubpages Title.
Here are some examples of boring Hub titles I've come up with:
"A History of European Vacuum Cleaner Bags"
"How I Use The Weather Channel Instead of Foreplay"
"Let's Discuss Czechoslovakian Advances in Pedicures"
"Get The Best Deals on Baking Soda Here"
Ok, so you get the idea. Surely you can do better than that. I know there is a plethora of fantastic and creative Hubpages writers out there, so please feel free to enter the contest and WIN THE COVETED TITLE!
Good luck!
Can You Write The Most Boring Hub Title Ever?
THE WINNER WILL RECEIVE ONE OF THESE
CONGRATS TO B.T. EVILPANTS
Congrats to the winner, B.T. Evilpants who is the author of Most Boring Hub Title 2009. B.T.'s winning piece of boredom is titled "Fun at the Cemetry" which (voted by you, the hubpages readers) should be really, really boring. I mean even "Cemetery" is spelled wrong. I can't wait to see the finished product. He's going to be forced to knock one out of the park here. Not that I want to put any pressure on him, but he's got his hands full with this one. Lots of hubbers are watching this contest and waiting for the (yawn) winning hub.
Good Luck, B.T.
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Comments
How about "I was Asleep When it Happened"? How would you like to read hub about something exciting that happned and theonly person that wants to tell you anything about it doesn't know anything because they were asleep during the whole thing. I don't imagine there would be very many details. :)
Tootles!!
How about "The Annotated Legacy of George W. Bush?"
i totally misread! LOL sorry! rockinjoe, you can now delete my previous comment, thanks. so here's my entry! "a poem"
An analytical dissertation on the annotated legacy of George W Bush's speech writer, with mathematical forecasts on the empirical likelihood of it adversely impacting future employment of himself or others in similar or related fields, by his mother.
"another poem"
'Different Speeds in Microseconds a Snail Can Achieve Depending on What He is Trying to Go After'
'How to Find Interesting Migration Patterns of Doves by The Way Their Droppings Appear'
Hi rockinjoe,
how to eat carrots raw on Wednesdays between 4 and 5 pm.
Or......... How to attract flies by not washing your underwear.
How about, "The Secret Life of Broccoli."
"Most comfortable position to sit while you watch paint dry"
"Sexy Pictures Of Women with Psoriasis". Oh wait... wrong contest. I'll go with "Video Compilation of The Formative Years, And Life Cycle Of A Stalagmite". Or was it a stalactite. I can never remember
Hi Joe, this hub is far from boring, as you can tell from the comments and I enjoyed it or does that mean that I am a boring person? lol I think that most boring hub is a title I would rather leave for someone else to win lol but here is a Title for someone else who may want to vie for the most boring hub of all time
Watching Paint Dry A Comprehensive Guide
have fun in the hub.....jimmy
These are all FANTASTIC so far. Keep them coming.
Do you want me to submit my Master's Thesis in Computer Engineering or maybe a list of prescribed reading in IEEE journals..LOL
"Pictures of my Church Group"
"Videos of my holidays in my mom's house"
That would be my title. Don't you just hate it when you go to visit someone and they torture you with their home made videos of their latest boring vacation or their children's shows at school? Imagine a hub with a collection of the most boring of those zzzzzzzzzzz......
These are real yawners so far, lol. I don't want to comment on a particular title, as I don't want to taint the contest. These are really fantastic. Keep going.
how to tell the difference between a white suit from a black suit Part 10!
Selections From The Webster's Unabridged Dictionary: The Letter "Q"
In case you were wondering, this would be a capstone series of 26 hubs. I'm only up to number 16 so far.
Shifty Dealings by Iwantattention
A Guide to Marriage
"The complete lyrics to 100 bottles of beer on the wall"
dear rockinjoe, i have read your this hubpage and tried to enjoy and understand it too but couldn't, hope to have better ones so that people like me can enjoy and understand. Great effort!
hmmm, not sure if that's a compliment, or not, but I'll take it as one...I think.....
These responses are amazing. Lots of good talent out there on Hubpages.
How to empty your dog's anal glands!
Sorry Cindy, but you can't use BT's hub titles. You have to make up your own.
(You're awesome-Thanks for the entry)
Things to do with your toenail clippings!
I've seen the video on that, misty. It was on late night tv, right after a show called "How To Administer Suppositories To Your Constipated Cat." A gripping show, indeed!
LOL, I bet it was BT :)
The Turnip. From Seedling to Harvest - A Comprehensive Guide
My Husband's interesting shaped hemorrhoids!
That may not be boring enough if it looks like Abraham Lincoln, or something like that!
"My Collection of Train Numbers by an avid Train Spotter"
I wish they did BT :)
"My Pet Amoeba and the Antics we Have"
(This is fun!!)
"10 uses for secondhand incontinence knickers"
"Games You Can Play With Your Three Toed Sloth"
"Do It Yourself Throat Culture, A Pictorial Guide"
"Check Out My Bleeding Gums"
"Sexual Positions for Double Amputees"
"Pubic Lice make Great Pets and come with their own accommodation"
Ok, last one. "Collecting Scabs For Fun And Profit"
Some of these are so boring they look interesting! Mine has sort of been taken, but I was going to say, "Pictures of My Kid's Kids on Vacation."
Gross does not equal boring, I shouldn't think.
How about "Linear of the cotient is the juxtaposition of the H2O of the country".
How about working class English translations of some actual Master's Thesis titles:
“Pitch Estimation Based on Frequency Domain Zero Crossings of a Speech Signal” by Biao Hu 2007 University of Rhode Island.
"Blurring The Signal: The Impact of Parental Distress on the Congruence of Parent and Adolescent Report of Internalizing Symptoms" Heather Brandt 2008 Tulane University.
"Memory System-Specificity in The Molecular Mechanisms of Spatial Learning" Shaelfali Rogers 2008 Tulane University.
You need an advanced degree and a bottle of No-Doz just to make it through the titles...
Some of these are so good, I have tears in my eyes. Cristoph, you're correct. I'm not looking for gross hubs, I'm looking for most-boring.
"untitled"
Line by Line Analysis of Scripture, Genesis to the Rapture
My Star Wars figurines - the slideshow.
The Keanu Reeves guide to method acting.
My teabag collection.
Guide for shaving tips
Conversations to have with your pot plants
A day in the life of an Accountant.
"the same old philosophical analysis of "which came first the chicken or the egg?" - Part 5"
'Filing: What's Best, by Numbers or Alphabetically?'
'How Best to Collect Paper Clips, In Jar or a Plastic Bag?'
'How to Start a Plastic Water Bottle Collection'
'Coathangers from Around the World'.
Since I like a lot of sports, I'll go with "Highlight from the Detroit Lions 2008 season". Can you say 0 and 16?
Don't like sports? How about nature? "The first year in the life of a blade of grass-seed to germination"
Last one for all of you wood workers. "Sanding techniques"
'A Definition of the Offside Rule in Football'
The Old Firm - You stole my title!
Evilpants - Your facelift has done wonders.
My entry - "How to Attract Spam on Hubpages."
'How to Distinguish a Cirrus from a Nimbus Cloud'
'Normal Wind Effects on a Concrete Wall Over a 50 Year Period'
These are all incredible.....incredibly boring, that is. I'm definitely going to need assistance picking a winner. Keep em' coming as you think of them.
"Photo gallery of Industrial Detergents"
ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
"What is a Snort? An audio book- 8 hour Series"
'Rubber Stamp Examples'
'My Beer Can Collection'
'Diary of a Stuffed Cat'
'Can you Identify this Smell?'
"My TV Guide Collection: The Fall Previews 1980 - Present"
"My TV Guide Collection: 1980 - 1984"
"My TV Guide Collection: 1985 - 1989"
....and so on.
How to open a jar of olives.
How to dust a light bulb.
How To...
"Deep Thoughts...by Paris Hilton"
'Trivial Pursuit with Jordon (Katie Price) and Peter Andre'
"The Copulation of Flies: A Comprehensive and Complete Guide"
'My Favourite Caravans'
'Sing Along with Stephen Hawking'
How to Burn Cow Patties...
Ahhhhhhh,just a minute
These are absolutely priceless.
How to Attract Slugs
Naming Your Empty Toilet Paper and Paper Towel Cardboard Cylinders
ahahahha trish, that IS funny!!
'Hang around with Saddam Hussein'
'Decorating Caves with Osama Bin Laden'
I don't know misty, that sounds pretty interesting...LOL
LOL, so do you have a cave that needs decorating Marisue??? :) :)
'Countryside Walks in the Sahara Desert'
Congratulations!
You will now be privy to my anaiysis, and resolution of all the problems affecting our world today!
What about "Ways to clean out a cyst on your tailbone without resorting to surgery"? Or would that be more along the lines of gross and disturbing?
'My Husband's Belly Button Fluff Collection'
'25 ways to sharpen a Pencil'
'My Favourite Subtitled Foreign Films'
'The World's Sexiest Darts Players'
Hi Kika. I am picking a winner for the most boring, but yours kind of crosses into both categories, but it's just fine. You can enter as many times as you wish.
Tailbone cysts are nasty. NOW I know what's been bugging me!
Hey Cindy, make sure you're around for my next hub "Make Joe Puke" :)
If I can't win this contest, I'm pretty sure I can win the Make Joe Puke one!
LOL Joe, I shall do my best :)
I was gonna read this hub, but I got bored with the title.
BT, I am up for that challenge :)
zzzzzzzz wake me when it's over. =))))
"A Written Transcript Of The Entire 2008 Rock Paper Scissors World Championships"
Don't believe me? Here's the research material http://www.worldrps.com/index.php?option=com_conte
Further notes on "An analytical dissertation on the annotated legacy of George W Bush's speech writer, with mathematical forecasts on the empirical likelihood of it adversely impacting future employment of himself or others in similar or related fields, by his mother." indicating and discussing in depth the likelihood of this analysis being fundamentally flawed because of the close relationship of its author to one of the principals, and presenting numerous similar studies as supportive evidence of this premise. (Part 3)
"A Narrative Description Of The Feed From My Webcam, Which Is Trained On A Wall Clock"
"Some Items Of Interest That I found In My Pocket"
"Some Items Of Interest That I found In A Friend's Pocket"
"Conversations I Overheard At The Waffle House"
'Snail Racing videos'
'Things to do whilst you are Asleep'
'Top 10 Bible Quotes'
'How to Become a Born Again Christian'
'My job in a fish and chip shop'
'Watch your Bonsai Grow'
My entry in the contest is a neo-con's explanation about how the markets ARE self-correcting and free enterprise capitialism does work well and wealth will trickle down -- and, oh, by the way, a few of us have run a little short of some of the capital needed to make free-enterprise capitilsim work for us, so, just for now, for a little while, we'll pay you back, honest, we need a couple of hundred billion, say, what? Ah, ok a trillion or more dollars just to get our feet back on the ground and then, bam, we're rocking again, right back into the self-correcting, trickling down, everything is good, good old Amurican capitalism. ANd don't you say one word about socialism for the rich, you commie hippie, long-haired bum! And, blah, blah, blah … take the money and run!
101 exciting vegetables to grow in your garden
'Pout' Eric, I find all vegetables exciting to grow in my garden, (or in my case containers)!!
'How to Start a Stick Collection'
These titles would make a meth head fall asleep standing up. Good thing we're not looking for most boring comment. Between Bruce Elkin and TOF, I think we'd have a draw.
As you know, I'm not commenting on individual entries. Don't think I'm being rude. We need more. I've almost peed a couple of times reading these.
"Things you clean off the shower drain...and where they come from."
"The important difference between brands of onion powder."
"Things to do with you Pet Rocks."
"Ways to be entertained while watching paint dry."
Still love the idea of 'Sing along with Stephen Hawking' best :)
Hi, rockinjoe.. do you really think this will take care of your insomnia? I think all the participation and interaction will have kept you wide awake! the hub is far from boring.
"My New Super Favourite Hobby: Counting Nails on the Ceiling - 1 Nail, 2 Nails, 3 Nails.... Come Count Wit Me!"
copyright 2008
(LOL)
"Why I love lanyards"
"How to make your own Vegemite" (probably goes in the gross category)
"The history of epsom salts"
"Your gallbladder, an owner's manual"
"Practical uses for hairballs"
I also like Sing along with Stephen Hawking but it's a bit mean:-). So very Misty like tho!
Hey Joe, mine wasn't a comment, it WAS a title.Ya want it in capitals or summin'?
Hi Vibhavari. I think you're right. This is some of the funniest stuff I've read in a long time. It's going to be so difficult to pick a winner. What did I get myself into?
TOF - thought that was the whole hub right there! LOL
Hi The Old Firm. That makes it even funnier:)
Well, You've just said goodbye to boredom and hello to more insomnia -trying to decide the winner. You have trouble making a decision on who the winner willl be? Er- why don't you sleep over it for a bit....? :-)
How about: "Great Yawns of the 20th Century"
Reorganizing My Sock Drawer. That would make a really boring hub, but I have not had the pleasure of writing it. Maybe someone else could :).
'Sawdust: A History'
"The Mating Habits of Plankton"
"Fashions of the Dog Handlers of Westminster Kennel Club"
"IRS Agents 2009 Pictorial Calendar"
"Magnificent Mung Beans"
"Let's Talk Chalk."
Hey, Sweetiepie. I'll write the hub, but you'll have to give me access to your sock drawer.
"What your dustpan reveals about your personality"
"The Many Colors of Duct Tape"
"Should You Pluck the Hair from Your Mole?"
"OJ Simpson Juror #11: My life under a rock" (not to be confused with your life in a van down by the river)
hey rockinjoe, would you give "citations" to those who will come in 2nd, 3rd etc? the competition is so tough i'd settle for an honorable mention! or slightly boring just won't do? LOL
Yo Joe, by the end of the year you're gonna have thousands to sort through! How are ya gonna manage?
Hey Rockingjoe,
You are welcome to reorganize my sock drawer and write about it any time you like. Hope you do not fall asleep in the process :).
"How to pick prickly burrs from a dog's fur"
"Flossing your teeth: an illustrated guide"
"I found a clump of foot fungus that looks like the Mona Lisa; do I get to put a picture of it in Ripley's! Believe It or Not?" Okay, that one borders the gross category, too... But it made me lawl, so it's all good. ^_^
"A walkthrough guide for the Barnes & Noble religious section" Don't get me started with that one, I've done it. Albiet it was out loud with my friend Cassie, but still...
"Disassembling a BIC pen (now with pictures!)" xD
"How to clean lint from a dryer lint trap"
"The many ways the MN **or any state, depends on which one you're in** DoT TV program can change your life"
"The extended history of shoe polish"
... Okay, yeah, I think I should stop before I start laughing so hard, Diet Coke spills out my nose... xD
@mistyhorizon2003, who said
"'Pout' Eric, I find all vegetables exciting to grow in my garden, (or in my case containers)!!"
I hereby nominate Misty as the first entry in the yet to be published hub
"Most boring Hubbers of 2008". :lol: :lol:
Wonder who's going to be the brave hubber to start off THAT one!
:lol:
Eric,
You got it! That is exactly what my boss does. If you come up with an idea, guess who gets to do it? I've stopped offering ideas :)
hey Joe,
ok, so I'm a BBW, but did ya have to post the ad to my source of undies right under my comment? Geeze,, :)
Hi Cris. I'm definitely going to have to come up with something. They're all WAY too good to pick just one winner. I have a few days to figure it out.
Hi ImaDork. I don't know. I painted myself into a corner. I'm going to have to figure out a way to walk out without getting paint on my shoes:)
Hi Sweetie Pie. Thanks. I'll be over in a couple of hours. Anything that will help me get to sleep is fine with me:)
Eric, I dare you to try, I am armed and dangerous with my homegrown carrots :)
Hi cyrus2203. They're supposed to be hub titles for hubs that don't yet exist, but I'll have to admit, I was pretty much yawning by the second sentence.
Thanks!
"Ear Hair Growth Patterns in the Over 60 Male"
The 10 PM Version of George Bush's Love Life
How to Carefully Romance a Truffling Pig
Insomnia Explained Ad Nauseum
Let Me Introduce You to My Boring Guy Cousin Who Will Put You to Sleep in 30 Seconds Flat!
The Social Habits of Cockroaches
Convincing Your Cat to Brush His Own Fur Through the Art of the Stare Down
Where to Hide After You've Spammed Everyone's Comment Boxes on HubPages
OK, I'm just warming up here but I'll give the next guy a chance to compete! Cheers!
'Comparing the Tastes of Diffrent Brands of Bottled Water - Updaded Edition with Tasters' Comments Included'
"The Wonderful World Of Paint Drying"
"Your Poop And You"
"My Collection Of Toenail Clippings"
"Watching Your Grass Grow"
"How To Be Submissive: A Guide For The Doormat"
"The LDS Edited Version of the Movie Showgirls: A Review"
'Sylvester Stallone's Acting Tips'
The exact process of making drawing pins: from start to finish
Hey this could be a springboard for some of the boring hubbers to revel in the greyness!!!
"How to calculate square roots in your head"
(With apologies to genuine crafts fanatics) "Fascinating Scrapbooking Facts"
"Why silent films have no sound"
"The secret life of cement"
"Make your own castor oil"
I'm definitely in trouble. I'm going to have to form a committee to pick a winner. These are really excellent!
You could always just pick one of mine, and call it a day! I'm currently working on one called " Expired coupons I have pulled out from under the seat in my car, and the ketchup packet that was stuck between them."
YAWN! um, did you say something, BT?
"How to open a wine bottle"
My navel fuzz pillow...
Nail fungus history
How to chose a pet fish
How to make mulch
How to dig a hole
How to un-wrap a Candy Kiss
How to read a recipe
What to do if you run out of toilet paper?
How to balance your checkbook?
how to re-order a prescription
'My Collection of unusual teapots'
'When Goldfish Attack'
'Disco with the Mortuary Residents'
'Bedroom Antics with the Mother-in-Law'
'Disco with the Mortuary Residents' - This made me think of the video for "Last Dance with Mary Jane"... love Tom Petty.
Counting Backwards: My New Super Favourite Hobby, Part Two - From 20 to 10! Plus New Tips!!!
Comparative Study of a Baroque Aria by G.F. Handel
(Sorry Nickny, nice music, but it is a limited interest subject. No offence meant.)
'Watch live kinky slug sex here'
'How to boil an egg'
'Count my freckles'
'Sing-along-a-hymn'
'The Exciting life of a Grave Digger'
'Hilarious Shakespearean Quotes'
'Debating physics with my Tarantula'
Once again, I'm not commenting on individual hubs, but I have to say that it's a total pleasure to be associated with the most talented group of people on the internet. I've been laughing my ass off at these Hub titiles. They're gold.
Misty -- what do you mean disparaging the Bard? He does have some hilarious quotes! But I guess compared to sitting around debating physics with your tarantula old Bill pales in comparison:-).
"Why are there polka dots but no polka dashes?"
"101 novel uses for pipecleaners"
"How I potty trained my hamster"
"Do-it-yourself tree ring dating"
"Greatest Episodes of The Knife Show"
"Root canal adventures"
"My garden hose is blue"
"Top 10 velvet painting subjects"
A
WHAT IS A "A STITCH IN TIME?"
Learn how to strike a Match
Discribe a waffle for me
Learning how to put on socks
How to dial a telephone
How to lick a stamp carefully and why?
'The Many Variations of the Color Beige and How to Tell Them Apart'
How to become a traffic school teacher.
Here is another boring idea:
The 10 Most Common Phrases Used By Hubpages Trolls
Diary of an Ant Farm
You were trying to make the most boring hub or the most commented hub :)
Counting Down the Days Till Christmas Beginning January 1st and What I Did Each Day
Fun idea, Joe. And just for the record, this hub isn't the most boring one I've come across... Hey, I read the whole thing! OK, the most boring title:
"How I Became the Most Perfect Person I Know of - And How YOU Can Do It, Too!"
OK, I've decided I AM the Committe! :)
I'm placing my vote with Mighty Mom for: How I Potty Trained My Hamster.
Why? Because the double-dare goes to her to provide photos and at least 2 videos so that we are well-informed. The search engine bots really scream for joy when they come across the 2 video hub.
And to all the rest of you - IF I chose to be generous and actually allow you to vote - who would you choose? No voting for yourself as that would be unsportsmanlike conduct!
Hi aanaedwards. Thanks for the comment. I'm actually looking for the most boring hub, but the comments that come along with it are just fun. I wish I was gaining an external audience out of this, but it's just hubbers.
-Denny, I agree voting for yourself is unsportsmnalike, but would that not be The Most Boring thing to do? So, in the spirit of this hub... I'm voting for myself.
Hi Denny Lyon. I have absolutely no idea who you are, or what your mission is, but since you've appointed yourself as judge and juror over my hub in an attempt to come across as "edgy or hip" , I found a hub you may want to take a look at, first. http://hubpages.com/hub/10-Ways-To-Become-Extremel
lol...
the competition is indeed getting hot! LOL :D
That, it is, Cris. There are so many awesome entries, (that I didn't expect), I'm going to pull my hair out finding a winner.
Hi joe, I'm having fun reading this hub plus all the titles submitted so far. This is a fun idea. LOL My submission:
My Boring Diary
I Cant' Think of Anything to Say or Do
The Speech Given at Your College Graduation by a Politician in Slow Motion!
How about... "Visit my hub and click my ads so I can make money"?
A comprehensive list of things you can store in your nose.
Thanks, SpikeTheLobster. Unfortunately, with the internal traffic this hub is getting, everyone is way too smart to click on my ads.
Hi RorckinJoe. Are your really wanting to attract outside attention to your hub? *shudders at the thought of increased competition.* Maybe a title that doesn't use the words "Hub" and "HubPages" would lure them in (?).
E.g., "The Most Boring Article Titles Ever" or "Articles Guaranteed to Bore Your Reader to Sleep"
If other people don't know what HP is, maybe they are intimidated/afraid to come and check out this hub (?). Then again, if you DO attract outsiders, you run the risk of substantially increasing (or would that be decreasing?) the quality of the comments/title suggestions. It's possible there are seriously boring writers out there just waiting for this very opportunity. *shudders again.*
Hi MightyMom. Thanks for the comment. This hub was strictly for fun, which is why I specifically used HP in the title. I think you're right that by my making it geared to external traffic, the quality would decrease. Hubbers are the greatest.
'Detailed Instructions on how to use a Walking Stick'
'How to sing along convincingly in church to hymns you don't know'
'My Child's School Nativity Play Footage'
'Hair Styles for Bald Heads'
'Detailed Instructions on how to use a Walking Stick' -- OMG!! I saw an old man yelling at an old woman the other day because she could not figure it out!
"Learn To Speak Esperanto"
"Learn To Speak Aramaic"
"Comprensive Guide To Speaking Flawless Pig Latin With A Peruvian Accent"
"How To Write A Hub Comprised Entirely Of Alliteration"
"Who Invented The Tv Remote Control", oh...wait...someone already wrote that one.
LOL Patty, now fancy that :)
A day in the life of Queen Elizabeth.
Joe, I think you need to start disqualifying some of these titles, on the grounds that they are too interesting. Like Misty's, for example. You know in advance that anything she writes is going to be interesting. She should be disqualified forthwith! Also, anyone whose name doesn't begin with the letter B. Just a thought.
How to use a remote control....
How do I put the laundry soap in
Spot cleaning my underwear
How to apply lipstick
cleaning the wax out of your ears
Explain a fart
How to butter toast
Flipping a pancake in 3 easy steps
How to blow your nose quietly
How to Hide and Watch
Teach me how to skip
BT, I think you are using underhand tactics to give yourself an unfair advantage. I can write a really dull hub, I am sure I can, so there!!!!
I reckon whoever wins this competition should have to come up with a hub that fits the winning title they suggested, what does everyone else reckon to this idea ?????
A day in the life of Sarah Palin
I dunno Cindy. Your hubs are pretty interesting...and so are your titles for this contest. I can't imagine you writing something boring. I am amazed, however, that not one of your entries has the words, "pubic hair" in them.
I LOVE YOUR IDEA about writing the hub. That's why I should disqualify you and have you help pick the winner.....Whaddya think?
SirDent- I don't know about others but for me it won't be so boring to watch on TV a day in the life of Queen Elizabeth or Sarah Palin (Both are famous in their own right)...LOL
For the record, I am more than willing to write a hub based on any of the titles offered by myself, or my good friend rmr.
Oh, by the way, Cindy; if you knew me, you would know that underhanded tactics are my specialty!
But CW, it isn't watching them on TV. It is reading about their day.
LOL BT, don't worry, I know underhand tactics are your speciality :)
Joe, I don't mind, if you want me to help judge this I am up for it, but it is totally up to you. You could always put a poll on this hub asking people to vote for either the best hub title, or the hubbers they want to judge it. (Only a suggestion). I definitely think the winner should have to write a hub on the subject of their 'Boring Hub Title', lets say, minimum of 200 words!!!
Just to make you feel better Joe, a few more titles could be'
'Saving your pubic hair to stuff a pillow'
'Using your pubic hair (or a friends) as dental floss'
'Why pubic hair makes great bedding for your pet hamster'
'Faces I have seen in my pubic hair (patterns I mean)'
Actually, It's up to you, Cindy. I don't want to disqualify you from this contest this late in the game, but you're most-likely trusted more than I am when it comes to judging something like this. I'll admit it. This hub has gone waaaaaay more popular than I first thought. I stepped in a hole. HELP!
And yeah, I LOVE THE IDEA of havng the winner write the hub. It's now an official rule.
sorry Cindy....but your pubic hub titles are too good to be boring.
LOL, I don't mind whatever you decide, at least it would get me out of having to write the winning hub myself :) :) :) I can't judge it on my own though. We need a panel of at least three to five to be fair. I suggest Spryte who has not yet entered, and possibly Shadesbreath (who has also not yet entered), and Christoph Reilly is another good choice, plus of course your good self whose hub it is. What do you reckon ????
SirDent- I guess if they write how they get their kids ready for school, finish all the domestic responsibilities, attend to their official duties and maintain good relationships with friends/family. Then for me it would be a good reading on time management and also how to attain the perfect work/life balance for a woman. Sorry I still don't see how it could be boring. Maybe if some one writes in great minute details like Sarah got up 6 then went to brush her teeth, then used the rest room followed by a shower and so on then of course it would be boring.....LOL
Sarah Palin likes to go fishing in Lake Arrowhead, or so her Hubpages nemesis claims. I think sirdent was referring to the joke profile of Sarah Palin here on hubpages. She is a pretty boring lady, or her hubpages alter ego is any way :).
SP- OMG!! Is that you(and I thought only I was good at April fool jokes)?Anyway in that case she is all the more interesting for me as I would love to know how such a wonderful woman is able to devote time to her day job and still manage to write almost a hub every day....hehe
'How to Cut Your Lawn with Scissors'
'Topping up your Car Windscreen Washer Bottle'
'Emptying your Cat's Litter Tray'
"Step By Step Instructions On How To Discreetly & Silently Let Out A Potentialy Ear-Shattering Fart In Public"
Actually, I would read that one but I had to add it.
A Day In The Life Of Sarah Palin's Goldfish. I'm thinking that would even bore Countrywomen.
Or - A Day In The Life Of Sarah Palin's Dog's Deer Tick.
Yo Joe! How about a Top 10 if you are having trouble narrowing it down? Of course, keep my titles in mind. ;-)
CW, in response to this comment from you,
'SirDent- I guess if they write how they get their kids ready for school, finish all the domestic responsibilities, attend to their official duties and maintain good relationships with friends/family. Then for me it would be a good reading on time management and also how to attain the perfect work/life balance for a woman. Sorry I still don't see how it could be boring. Maybe if some one writes in great minute details like Sarah got up 6 then went to brush her teeth, then used the rest room followed by a shower and so on then of course it would be boring.....LOL'
CW, my good friend, you forgot to include having any sort of quality time for yourself in this analysis. Really, I promise you, life is not all about catering to everyone else's needs, even your children's, you need to have a quality of life too, and your future Husband can also help with the domestic responsibilities, so don't give up your own quality of life in order to ensure everyone else around you has the perfect life apart from yourself!! Your family can still be brilliantly well cared for without you ending up as being little more than a slave to improve their life quality!
No I am not Sarah Palin, but it left a weird message on my hub lol.
Cindy, I like imadorks idea. What do you say, just you and I choose the top 10 at the end of the contest? (you pick 5 and I'll pick 5)
Imadork, you may be a dork, but you're a genius! Thank you!
I got it the most boring hub title eva! "I am a virgin".
The Ultimate Guide to Watching Moss grow on Rocks.
Step by Step Guide to Watching Leaves
(responding to rockinjoe's compliment)
Imadork blushes in an awe-shucks manner and takes an awkward yet humble bow...a single tear slowly traces its way down the outline of his cheek.
"3 Popular Types Of Hydraulic Pumps, And Their Applications"
"Counting To A Thousand, In English"
"Advanced Course In Splinter Removal"
How to Count Sheep
How to Focus on Everyone's Yawns
How to Watch Paint Dry
Top ten? What if the top ten were the finalists? These 10 would then have a pre-determined amount of time in which to complete their bore-fest. You could then pick a winner based on which hub was the most yawnworthy. Of course, the hardest part would be actually reading the ten most boring hubs on hubpages!
Yea, I like the top 10 idea too. B.T. LOL! I think the really interesting thing would be to see if any Googlers actually visit and read the boring hubs. Maybe that would be the 2nd part of the contest or a new contest...which of the top 10 most boring hubs actually generates outside traffic. ;)
How I mowed my lawn with scissors.
10:30 am EST, Christmas eve 2008, This is the #1 featured hub under the entertainment tag on the sign in page. Just thought you'd like to know.
Sounds like a great idea Joe a top 10, we each pick 5 and then we can either run a poll for votes, go down the route of them all having to write the most boring hub and then judge, or simply get a few more unbiase people to make the final decision and the winner has to write the hub. What do you reckon ???
That's great news, BT. Thanks for sharing. It made my day. Not bad for three days, but I haven't (and probably won't) make a dime on this one.
I reckon' that's what we'll do then:) I think we can each pick 5 and then perhaps agree on a top hub-or as you suggested. Do a top 10 poll. (Thanks, Cindy)
6 days left in the contest. Get your best (I mean most boring) hub title in.
Garden slugs make great pets
Don't feel too bad about the money, Joe. It's just one hub. I don't really make money from ANY of mine LOL!
Oops! Almost forgot to leave another title. "Strange Items That I Don't Remember Putting In My Underwear Drawer, But Have Found There, None The Less"
"Things That I Ment To Do This Year, But Never Got Around To"
This is the most interesting comment thread I've ever read about a topic that's supposed to be boring! Looking forward to the denouement on the 31st!
How To Have Sex Standing Up (and how to avoid injury).
I was thinking there would be direct links to all of my Hubs here. However, after reading I will submit this: "Cardboard 101"
Anna13 says:3 days ago
'How to Find Interesting Migration Patterns of Doves by The Way Their Droppings Appear'
This one might actually be worth a look. Even if just for laughs.
reagu, I was once actually involved (well, it was more like stuck in) a conversation about just that... the group discussing this was very serious about it and having a very intense conversation. I was doing my best to keep a straight face... and all I could think of was 'Am I on Candid Camera or something?'
How To Wash Your Counter With The Perfect Sponge. That would be a really boring one.
How to Moose Hunt from a Helicopter
How to stall congress with a filibuster
How to get to nowhere (where the bridge was headed)
How to make money on line . . . yawn . . .
Financial Auditing and Reporting in Singapore
And it just so happens to be one of mine. Ouch.
Teach me how to hook a worm....
How do you gut a fish?
why do they put bands on the lobsters?
What to do for a bloody nose?
Joe! I guess you underestimated the hubpopulation in their willingness to come to the aid of a hubber in need. You would sure to find a cure to insomnia with some of these suggested hubs. Now if you were to add listening to "No other arms, No other lips" by the Chordettes (on Galaxy 905) while reading some of these I bet you'd be sleeping around the clock. But here are my titles, also just trying to be helpful...
'Toothpicks: My collection!'
'Shoe-horns and how they've changed over the past century'
'How many ??????? does it take to change a lightbulb' My collection
'Why did the chicken cross the road?'
And I saved the best yawner for last in my humble opinion
'10 steps of how to differentiate between the front and back end of a Dewworm'
Hi Zsuzsy Bee. Thanks for the entry. Although I'd heard of the Chordettes, I had to hit up Google to discover what a dewworm was. I guess I learn something new everyday, :) :)
"Top 200 Astrophysicist Jokes"
"Travelogue of a Snail"
"Rate My Wife's Naked Knees" (with obvious apologies:-)
"The Curds & Whey Diet"
"Ear Candling for Fun and Profit"
When To Use A Pocket Protector, by Ima Nerd
Photos Of Our Family's Last Vacation, In 10 Installments
-----------
As a late-comer to this party, can't help but think many of the titles offered belong in "Most HILARIOUS Hub Titles". ???
Hmm...hubs to sleep by huh?
"The History of Narcolepsy, From A to Zzzzzz...."
"The Ins and Outs of Breathing"
"The Aches & Pains of the Elderly - Fort Lauderdale Residents Tell All"
*waves to everyone*
Things to do with your old Verucca!
I had to actually look up and find out what a Verucca was. Now I wish I hadn't. The only Verucca I had ever heard of was Verucca Salt from Willy Wonka.
You're ineligible to win, anyway Cindy:)
LOL (Sulks), you could always pick some of my hubs in your top 5 Joe !! No worries though, this is only fun and I am more than happy to be a judge, I don't need to win for this to be fun :) :) :)
How To Make a Watched Pot Boil
Thoughts I Completed Today
How To Thread A Needle on the First Try
How To Count Backwards from 99
How To Count Sheep
Ten Tips for Successfully Staring at Nothing
The Mechanics and Physiology of the Paper Cut
How To Avoid Injury While Licking an Envelope
Great fun, Joe! But please don't let me win. I'd die of boredom if I had to write any of these.
The Life of a Cat Hair
Misunderstood Dandruff and Its Feelings
The Foot - an Autobiography
What to do With Your Collection of Flea Dirt
How to Remove Surgical Glue from Pubic Hair
Eating a Whole Lobster - Staring at its Face? or its Tail?
An Illustrated Guide to Removing Spinach From Your Teeth
Other Uses for Dentures When Not in Use
Hi, I'm trying to find "The Most Boring Person In The World". This is a genuine mission to find the most boring person alive. If you think you can help me or want to nominate someone let me know :
whoisthemostboringpersonintheworld@live.co.uk or
whoisthemostboringpersonintheworld@facebook.co.uk
Thanks in advance !
This is the wrong hub for spamming Sarah. Try this one.
Thanks for taking care of the spam post, Sir Dent. That was hysterical:)
You're welcome, Joe. I just had to do it!!!!
Hey! It's almost judgement day here! Here's my last minute entry: How To Properly Sort Your Pocket Lint, By Color, Size And Texture
I guess it's no surprise that the quest for boredom brings out the boor in some people.
I resent that! I was boorish way before this contest! It's like my gimmick!
Fabulous way to deal with the Spammer Sir Dent, Hilarious :)
Just a few last minute suggestions for truly boring Hubs:
1) My favourite Spammers and their websites.
2) An Analysis of the Contents of my Vacuum Cleaner.
3) How to peel a potato.
BT and Sir Dent -- my comment is not aimed at you, but rather at the spammer (if it requires explanation).
"101 Uses for Plucked Chin Hairs"
"The proven mathematical guide to finding a needle in a haystack"
"Planter's wart or stigmata? How to tell the difference"
"Top 10 tourist attractions in Baghdad"
"Crochet with seaweed"
"My 54-hour, all-natural, at-home, midwife-assisted labor" (mothers -- I can hear you cringing:-)
"How to make a hammock out of gum wrappers"
"My 3000 word hub all about me, with no photos, links, videos or polls."
i dunno, Mightymom. Your hub ideas sound like a lot of fun!
Things to do while watching the dryer go round in a laudromat.
LOL Rockinjoe. Perhaps I'm not the only hubber who's totally lost the ability to distinguish between funny and freaky, reality and depravity, or boring and brilliant!! This is one sick bunch -- I do not envy you your New Year's Eve challenge:-). But know there will be folks all around the world eagerly awaiting the judges' decision....
Dick Clark can keep his Times Square countdown. We've got the Rockinjoe Countdown to ZZZZZZZzzzzzzz
Thanks and welcome to Rockin' Joe's Rockin' New Years Eve Hub Special!
I don't envy me either. I'm going to dump most of the weight on mistyhorizon because I'm scared to death. No matter what decision I make, someone is going to disagree with me.
:<
I know I'm waiting with baited breath. And I should mention that, if I happen to win, the resulting hub would be my 20th. The most boring hub on hubpages would catapult me from prodigy to expert status.
Gee, thanks Joe, I have friends over on New Years Eve, so when are we actually offering our five choices EACH for voting??? Also, once we do, we have to generate more visitors to vote, so I suggest a post in the forums might help. You aren't leaving this all to me alone, I promise you LOL. :) :)
B.T., are you trying an underhand way of currying favour with the judges?? "And I should mention that, if I happen to win, the resulting hub would be my 20th. The most boring hub on hubpages would catapult me from prodigy to expert status."
I warn you now, the only successful currying that might be done would be the currying of a Jackalope who tried to encourage special consideration of his entries!! (Delicious)
Goodness, Misty, you're beginning to sound like mean old Simon Cowell, LOL! Remind me to avoid any and all attempts to curry favor with you or with Rockinjoe. Whilst winning a spot on either judge's top 5 would be an honor, it's totally not worth being smothered in sauce over. Mighty Mom Marinara? Fricassee? Parmiagana? No thanks.
Underhand? Moi? I was merely pointing out the potential for irony in being declared an expert, based on the ability to construct the most boring hub in history. As far as curried jackalope, I prefer cayenne over curry.
I win I win...hands down I have the most boring article in the world and the story to back it up! "How I spent my Christmas Vacation by spryte" If you watch the news and see a story about how a woman went suddenly crazy and blew up her sister's Blackberry...that's me. Seriously...I'm not sure why I flew out here when I could have saved oodles of money by just texting her (& probably had more of her attention). What's the best way to sabotage a Blackberry? Anyone? Bueller?
Al Gore - The Biography
Spryte, I have found that a toilet makes quick work of a blackberry. An aquarium works well too.
Hey Cindy...There's plenty of time to party, Voting closes at midnight. We can choose our ten the next day and hold it to a vote off for the winner (If the Hubpages voting system doesn't give us the ability to choose 10, we'll do the voting on my site, http://www.prettywasted.com)
It'll actually be really fun.
Hey MM, I am not that mean, although I do think good old Mr Cowell is gorgeous and very very sexy, (dribbles her way across floor). I used to have a customer in Tenerife when I was selling a TV satellite system who said he was Mr Cowell's Father, but never quite knew if he was telling me the truth or not. Certainly his surname was Cowell, and Simon has homes in Spain, so it might be true.
B.T. Jackalope in Cayenne sounds a bit spicey to me. How about a little bit of Paprika instead, and a long slow roast, say, in Barbados for a month or so :)
Spryte, great to see you, have missed you loads. Now are you going to hang around or vanish back to that Warcraft game you play?? We miss you here, and your humour adds so much to hubpages. Do write a hub about your Christmas with your sister, I am now fascinated to know what went wrong :)
Great Joe, sounds good to me as I don't want to choose my favourite five whilst drunk, or in the middle of a total hangover :) Is that midnight as in New Year's Eve turns into New Year's Day??
Hi Cindy, yeah we definitely don't want you to make your decision in an alcohol influenced enviorment, but please don't mind if I do :)
The contest officially ends at midnight (for entries) as new years eve turns into new years day, but since we're in different time zones we can choose our favorites a day or two afterwards. This is going to be fun.
The art of reading boring hubs in 2,000 words.
"My Favorite Ear Wax Drawings"
"The Art of Blinking"
"Chewing on Beat"
"Soiled Diaper Art For Beginners"
"The Art of Wearing Blue Eyeshadow"
"How to Make Your Muffin Top Sexy"
"How To Use Your Turn Signal"
"Passing On The Left Is For Suckers"
"Gravy vs Syrup"
"Learn How To Pay All of Your Bills On Time"
"The Ins and Outs of Yodling"
"Sounds Cats Make"
"A Thousand Uses For Your Thumb"
"How To Make The Air Your Friend"
"Steering 101"
"Skipping For the Blind"
"STOP: What Does It Really Mean?"
"Celebrity Beer Guts: How To Get Yours"
"10 Most Popular Jelly Recipes"
OOOHH, a load of late entries there from zstephaniez :)
"Prechewed Meat: Is It Really Healthy?"
"Chicken Bone Art"
"How Much Is Too Much?"
"Is Too Much Enough"
"If Sweet Dreams Are Made of These, What are the Bad Dreams Made Of?"
"CPR For Bunnies"
"How To Live Like A Stray Cat"
27 hours left. Get your entries in! Cutoff is December 31, 2008 at 12 midnight EST
A Comprehensive List Of Universal Remote Control Codes
People Who Signed My High School Year Book
Fun At The Cemetery
Countdown To The New Century (this one would take a while to write, as it would be a running tally of days remaining until the year 2100)
Inspired by my Mother tonight, "The life, loves, history, inheritence and deaths of a family you barely remember and your Husband (listening) has never known at all, (the 20 minute + version)"
There could be some interesting stuff in there, Cindy. If you are going for boring, I might suggest a simple family tree, all the way back to Adam and Eve.
LOL, OMG, that would be truly awful, but believe me, my Mum and I nearly came to blows tonight when she started on the subject above, and I struggled miserably, to bite my tongue before both my Husband and I slashed our wrists. Mum never did 'get' why this was not a subject for general conversational enjoyment, and kept saying what a 'monkey' I was to everyone, simply for not thinking this was riveting stuff for anyone to listen to.
Simply reminded me of looking at the holiday photos of someone you have never met, and all their family members.
How to Spam Spammers
BT - Toilets and Aquariums sound like a good idea...but she would be suspicious as this was the cause of death of my father's blackberry (recently). I was thinking of a little game of "hide the blackberry."
Misty: Ohhh...I dunno. I feel the urge to write coming on...but I'm holding it off until I'm home. I just can't compose in this environment for some reason. WoW is still fun...but the newness is wearing off again. I bet you'll be seeing more of me shortly. And didn't I see Shade on recently making comments? I think I did!!
Silent Movie Dialogues
Miming Mime Monologues
Dust! The Dirty Truth
Indepth Tutorial of a Tax Audit
Church Sermon Marathon!
Boring as Snot and Proud of it!
Shirley, where the hell have you been?
I was at the Free Credit Report.com rehab centre! Actually, I thought that I was only gone a couple of days, but I guess it's been more. I've just been trying to make some money. Then there was the Christmas thing, ya know.
Did I win the contest yet?
Where in the world is Waldo?
How about "My sexual relations with my wife, and what to expect... for, the, rest, of, my, freakin', life"
LOL GT, Golly, I sure hope she doesn't read your comment, or your sex life is going to be nil for a long, long time !!!!!
I write in anticipation
The solution lies in the site a certain hub promoted called:
www.beautifulagony.com
The hub appears to have been closed down now (I wonder why), but the free clips on this website really livened things up for my hubby and me!!! Get your good lady to give it a watch, (trust me, it isn't hard porn). The site still exists, and once seen you will guess why.
Naw, its just sometimes you know, I feel like a tramp dog who's had his balls cut off, his spirit gone knowing he can't run around the neighborhood anymore playin' with the bitches
Fair comment, but why do you want another bitch if you have the best bitch in your bed already??? :) :) :) us bitches still 'window shop' you know, we just don't act on it, (well most of us don't)
Its not so much a want and as it is just memory of a freedom and kind of having fond memories as I am sure everyone can relate to but I truly kid around about her! The expression "long term" relationship just sounds like a way a doctor would describe a coma or a judge to a felon, feel me?
LOL, yes it does sound a bit like a jail sentence when you think about it.:)
THE CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED.
MistyHorizon2003 must now choose her top 5 picks and I will do the same. Once I receive her top choices, all 10 entries will be placed on a poll on http://www.prettywasted.com where everyone may vote for their favorite.
How many times can a Hubber vote? Can s/he vote for him/herself?
Can't wait to see the results!
Hi Cris, voting will be unlimited and a voter may vote every 90 seconds if they wish. And yes, voters will be allowed to vote for themselves. Thanks for asking.
Thanks rmr. Me too! It;s going to be fun.
Happy New Year to you both:)
ok, got that thanks! i'm off to a meeting with my 100 or so fans - strategies! LOL
Happy New Year :D
lol, Cris. Whatever works for you. But first, you have to make the top 10.
Hi just gone through all the comments you have turned a boring contest into a very interesting one and I'm going to look up that website from misty, good luck to everyone but my favorite is zstephaniez. I hope you win!!!!!!!Have you all just celebrated NYD we are into the 2/1/2009
Thank you, tracey69b. There were so many excellent contestants that we are going to condense it down to ten. I should have them ready by the end of today here in the Eastern US.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
CINDY...I GOT YOUR ENTRIES! GREAT CHOICES. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR BEING A PART OF THIS!
Yay!! I've got the site open and ready to see the entries. Curiosity's a good thing in a writer, isn't it?
Ok, the entries are in place and the entries are open for votong. You may vote every 90 seconds (as many times as you wish) until voting closes January 8th, 2008 at midnight EST. Thank you for all who entered. You're very talented. Fo those that did not get selected to become finalists. I sincerely appreciate your efforts. There were so many to choose from that there was NO WAY we could pick betwen you all. VOTE NOW! http://www.prettywasted.com (on the right side of the page towards the bottom, you'll see the poll option.) THANK YOU!
Way ahead of you! Already voted several times.
Hey Joe, good job!
Alert...Wind Effects on a Concrete Wall Over a 50 Year Period" (or something like that) isn't mine. I wish it was because that's a good one, but it's not. :(
Now I'm off to go vote. :)
Thanks, Pam. I corrected it. It was Anna 13. (I'm sorry)
I just voted and my fav is "A Day In the Life of an Accountant" by Sufidreamer. Fun! I mean... booooring. :)
I cannot wait to see who wins either, I just hope lots and lots of people go and vote now :)
Cool, I made the cut! Ok, I'll go vote for someone else, now.
there were sooooo many good ones. I hated (and Misty hated) cutting anyone. The awesome thing about you people is that I know you're also voting for others.
And I made the cut too, whooooOo! Thanks. They are all awesome though. :)
I didn't :-(
neither did i! let's start round 2 (2009 edition!) LOL
lol, you guys aew awesome. Trust me, I hope I never again have to decide finalists. That really sucks. There were lots of good ones I had to leave out. I hope no one takes it personally.
Good Idea Cris. The 2009 Contest should happen. Maybe I can get a decent prize for it next time.
I think you and Misty did a good job. I can't even imagine the amount of work that was involved in pulling this together, and I'm so happy to have not been in your shoes or Misty's in narrowing it down to a final 10. I didn't take it personal at all. It's all in good fun. :)
So does it still stand that these final 10 have to write a hub on their boring title or is it just the winner or did I dream this notion?
Thanks Pam. I'd like to see a hub written, but then again, we can't hold a gun to anyone's head and make it happen....well, maybe B.T. could, but I couldn't:)
I can't speak for anyone else, but if I win, I will be more than happy to write the hub. With the title and topic chosen, the hard part is already done! Everything else is just words, right? I mean, how hard could it be to be boring? I do it all the time, just ask my wife.
Same here, although it looks like our Jackalope friend is streaking away with the contest.
Looks like a little reverse psychology has ended up as one of the hottest Hubs around! Fun reading, everyone! I missed the deadline but how about these:
A Practical Guide to Performing a Successful Hysterosalpingectomy
Charting Chelonian Eye Movements At 30-Second Intervals
Balancing and Reconciling the Checkbook of a Compulsive Shopper
Keep the votes coming everyone, there is still plenty of time left. :)
Vote Here: http://www.prettywasted.com/
Whoever has been voting for the toilet paper tube title, thank you! For a minute there, I thought I was gonna have to write the cemetery hub!
I want to see the cemetery hub. I think you can make it happen.;-)
LOL LOL LOL, just went to visit the voting page Joe http://www.prettywasted.com/
Have you looked at the Google Ads that are coming up on it yet?? You should, as so far they include adverts for carboard tubes, Loo rolls, webcams etc, all appropriate to the final top 10 Hub titles.
For those of you who don't know yet who made the final top 10, here they are, (to place further votes go to http://www.prettywasted.com/ ):
"Fun at the Cemetry" by B.T. Evilpants
"My Garden Hose is Blue" by Mighty Mom
"Disassembling a Bic Pen" (now with pictures!) by Kika Rose
"A Day in the Life of an Accountant". by Sufidreamer
"Naming your Empty Toilet Paper and Paper Towel Cardboard Cylinders" by Trish1048
"Normal Wind Effects on a Concrete Wall Over a 50 Year Period" Anna13
"The Secret Life of Broccoli." by violetsun
"How to Find Interesting Migration Patterns of Doves by The Way Their Droppings Appear" by Anna13
"A Narrative Description Of The Feed From My Webcam, Which Is Trained On A Wall Clock" by rmr
"The Art of Blinking" by zstephaniez
Gogle ads coming up for me are "Boring Bar" and "Hub Caps" (yours were funnier)
Look at B.T. go. He's got a bigger campaign going for him than Obama did:)
How is that happening? I think someone really wants to read a boring cemetery hub.
No Joe, once you place a vote, the page with the results on so far has all the cardboard tube adverts on etc etc. :) Just checked, and they are still there.
Results very close right now between the top two:
"Naming your Empty Toilet Paper and Paper Towel Cardboard Cylinders" by Trish1048
AND
"Fun at the Cemetry" by B.T. Evilpants
But that could still all change yet if people keep voting :)
ahhhhhh, i see it now. That's pretty funny. No one's clicking on them. That's even funnier:)
LOL, yes it is funny isn't it, can't imagine why no-one wants to click on such 'interesting' adverts!!! :) :) :)
I just voted for Trish's toilet paper tubes again, and as a bonus to you, Joe, I checked out the ad for the teak toilet paper holder. Tres chic! Lots of nice products there.
The votes are coming in hot and heavy. B.T. is still in the lead...Get you VOTES ON!
5 Days Left!
Thanks, BT, I'll think of you every time I wipe.
Yeah, I have that effect on people.
I just cast my vote! Everyday I vote, its an addiction. Help! :) I voted for Evilpants today.
It's all good fun though, so keep the votes coming in folks :)
This has been so much fun. But if I had a dollar for every comment.........:)
I'd want you to share as I got roped into being a judge in a very hard to judge competition :)
Hi Cindy, Ok, I will send you 1/2 of my nonexistent money from this hub. That's a promise. (Hope you don;t mind waiting a few years)
Roped? Oh, c'mon, I couldn't have done it without you.
LOL, No, I couldn't have done it without you, as without you the hub would not exist, and therefore nor would the non profitmaking competition :)
I tell you what I'll do. Send me your postal address and I will send you the cardboard tube from the roll of toilet paper I'm about to use up any moment now:)
You even hub in the bathroom? Wow, you got bad, friend. I usually just set up a very complex series of mirrors, so I can see the monitor from the john.
icccckkk, no thanks, I'll pass on that one Joe :)
No, BT, I've got a desktop, which is a real bitch to get into the bathroom.
Cindy.....ok, your loss, Maybe I'll put it up on eBay.
Watching paint dry.. a three week study!
So this is how you get hubbers to read your stuff?
Thanks, Mike, but entries are now closed.
DJ Funktual? Is that really you? Yeah, of course this is how I get people to read my stuff. Showing them nudes of you wasn't cutting it. How the hell have you beeen?
Advances in ice cube making techniques, over the last 30 years.
Your as bad as my damn mortgage company as far as accepting late remitances!lol
The fine art of watching paint dry...
LOL. Haven't been around the hub much. Glad your back to being yourself. We missed you. I even started a thread in the forums about hubbers i miss. MIA hubbers I think it's called. Made about 30 videos since we last spoke so don't be a stranger. Can't believe you haven't seen em yet!
Hey, Mike, I'm not as bad as your mortgage company....at least I won't take your computer away for being late. Thanks for the entries.
Hey, Brad. Thanks for the entries. Funny, but a bit too late. :)
DJ! I'm finally getting emails from Hubpages (I wasn't getting them since I signed up two years ago), so I'll be able to check out a lot more stuff. I'm FINALLY catching up with everything. I hope things are well:)
Keep on Voting guys, and don't forget to do it on the www.prettywasted.com site.
The heck with the contest, check out this interview with mistyhorizon2003
WOW!
LOL, Thanks Joe, I must admit you have done a really good job on the interview and I am flattered you chose me as your first candidate, (I suppose you could say I took your virginity by being your first!!!) :) :) :)
Great minds think alike. In the interview, I was going to thank you for being my "cherry popping interview" but I didn't want to push it. I should have known better, lol.
It looks so awesome and the pictures are really breathtaking. You're not going to be able to walk down the street without people asking for autographs.
LOL again, I doubt that will happen very much Joe, but flattering idea!!!
BTW, I really am totally unshockable you know, so never worry about offending me with innuendo or double entendre etc :)
Off to bed now as it is 06.40am here, and I haven't been to sleep yet. Catch up later with you all :)
Wow congratulations to the both of you! The interview was very candid and fun! More of that rockinjoe - nice to know hubbers on a more personal level! And Cindy, has anybody told you that you look like a movie star? Great pics - I'd grab them all if you don't mind! LOL Two thumbs up, way way waaaay up! :D
Thanks again Cindy have a great night...um, I mean morning. It's 2:00am here and I'm fading out.
Hi Cris. I'm glad you enjoyed the interview. She's something else, don't you agree?
Oh I agree! She's a class act :D
So i'll be seeing you in a bit - time to feed the dog :D
"Caring for Your Pet Snail" - Part 1 of 8.
Thanks Cris, lovely compliments and you are making me blush :)
I just had a friend of mine (a non-hubber) who lives in Texas send me an email which asked "How do I get to Guernsey?"
LOL, all information is on my "Guernsey Activities and Places to Visit" site, Airlines, Boats etc. :) :) :)
I have to stop looking at your photos, Cindy. I've been walking around with a major "Hub-On" all day.
LOL that could get you arrested by the Hub Police :)
Nah, it's too small to notice :(
Few people would admit to that Joe :)
Don't pay any attention to me. I'm also a notorius liar :)
Wicked, will go check it out now :)
Brilliant stuff Joe, well done for being chosen :)
As I mentioned before....I couldn't done it without you. Your ideas for the contest were invaluable. Now we just have to top it.
Bloody Hell, how are we supposed to top that! Any ideas :)
I think so....I just have to perfect it. I'll be in touch.
LOL Can't wait :)
Hope to see you soon. My hubbing days might be over pretty quick as I'm launching djfunktual.com reeeeal soon.
DJ, can't wait for the site, but be sure to keep using Hubpages as a springboard for the site.
OMG Joe, what have you done to your Avatar!!!
lol...just my true personality coming out, Cindy!
Scary stuff, and I thought you were so sweet too :)
lol, you're quite safe. I'd get lost in Guernsey :)
LOL, so do most people Joe :)
Maybe I am just a sore loser but I still think my boring titles like "The Copulation of Flies: A Complete Guide" or "Deep Thoughts - By Paris Hilton" are better than any that made the Top 10. So there!
(Imadork shuffles to the corner of the room to sulk)
I'M NOT PLAYING ANYMORE!!!!!!!!
sorry, imadork. I knew we'd have a few people upset with the results. Just do what I would do. Blame Cindy:)
I'm glad I saw this in the HubPages newsletter! I thought you had to find the most boring Hub and reveal it in this Hub... that would be embarrassing :(
Damn you Cindy!
Thanks, glassvisage. Now that you mention it, your idea would have been lots funnier. I appreciate your comment!
LOL, don't blame me Imadork blame Rockinjoe, that's what I would do :) :) :)
See how she is, imadork? It's definitely her fault. I wanted you to win:)
The end is near! Which time zone are you using to judge midnight?
Hey there, BT. Midnight US EST. Votes coming in after then will not count. Looking good for you, isn't it??
It's a win-win situation for whoever wins this thing. For the prupose of this contest, the only way to write a bad hub, is to write an interesting hub. I already have some pretty boring ideas, if I have to write this thing.
The winner will also receive bonus points for me nodding off in the middle of it.
OK THE CONTEST IS OFFICIALLY OVER!
After 1362 votes the winner of The Most Boring Hub Title Contest is B.T. Evilpants with 467 votes. Congrats B.T. We cannot (well I can't anyway) wait for your winning Hub. The rest of the results are below. Thanks to all who entered and special thanks to Cindy for all her help and support in the contest.
MOST BORING HUB TITLE EVER CONTEST
"Naming your Empty Toilet Paper and Paper Towel Cardboard Cylinders" by Trish1048 386 votes "A Narrative Description Of The Feed From My Webcam, Which Is Trained On A Wall Clock" by rmr 200 votes "The Art of Blinking" by zstephaniez 101 votes
"The Secret Life of Broccoli." by violetsun 70 votes "My Garden Hose is Blue" by Mighty Mom 50 votes "A Day in the Life of an Accountant". by Sufidreamer 28 votes "Normal Wind Effects on a Concrete Wall Over a 50 Year Period" Anna13 24 votes "Disassembling a Bic Pen" (now with pictures!) by Kika Rose 18 votes "How to Find Interesting Migration Patterns of Doves by The Way Their Droppings Appear" by Anna13 18 votes
Congratulations, BT Evilpants! And thank you to Rockinjoe for sponsoring this scintillating year-end contest and Misty for helping judge the finalists. It's a rare treat to see so much mass boredom in one spot.
Can't wait to read -- and fully expect to be bored to death by -- the winning entry. MM
Mighty Mom You're awesome. Thanks for the comment and thank you for being a oart of the contest.
Well done BT, can't wait to read the hub when you publish it. I have never looked forward to being bored so much :)
Wow! I'm finally being recognized for my true talent of spreading boredom throughout the world! Maybe I'll win a Pulitzer...no wait, a Nobel prize for curing insomnia! I'll get to work right away!
Hey BT, once again, congratulations. I have to pay the rent tonight and tomorrow, but I'll be updating http://www.prettywasted.com soon with your dubious achievement.
Nice choice of words, Joe. I started the hub, and the word "dubious", found it's way into the very first sentence LOL! Thanks!
I wish I could say I could wait to see this hub,
Here you go. I hope it's boring enough to fix your insomnia. http://hubpages.com/hub/Fun-At-The-Cemetery
I hope you don't mind that I fixed the spelling. Cemetry didn't sound right.
Congratulations Evilpants, you are on the road to fame! And thanks Rockinjoe and Misty for the boredom. hehe.
Yaawwnnns G-ma :O( so boring is right..BTEvilpants am so glad it was you ! ! !...looking forward to the one you write...LOL hee hee hoo hoo G-Ma :o) Hugs & Peace
LOL, B.T.'s winning hub is great, and now we are looking for volunteers from the top ten finalists to write hubs based on their titles too, (optional of course).
I just might write "Deep Thoughts - by Paris Hilton" even though I didn't even make the top 10. Might be fun.
Congratulations BT Evilpants!!! To Rockinjoe with Misty's help, this was a boringly interesting contest to follow. LOL
Go for it imadork, I shall definitely read it if you do :)
I'd like to try to write a diary of my most boring day. I know how to be boring! LOL Maybe it will get a hubscore of 15 only hehehe
B.T. You're a genius. What can I say?
Thanks VioletSun. It was a fun contest. The economy is in the toilet, the stock market is swinging wildly and half of everyone I know is out of work. (Except for some comedy work that's keeping the mortgage paid, that would include me) I'm glad we could all spread a little joy around. We're in the company of some creative minds and exceptional writers, we should do these silly things more often.
Cindy, I would LOVE to see the top 10 write their hubs. I wish we had some kind of prizes to give away.
Hi I'maDork. I think you should definitely write the hub as well. I bet Paris' name gets a lot of search engine traffic. I'll also link it to Prettywasted.com.
Thank you, Ripplemaker. Cindy and I were just the ringmasters in this bizarre circus. Everyone else supplied the talent. I think you DEFINITELY SHOULD write your "most boring day" diary. I would definitely get into reading it.
I was in the top 10 but can't see myself writing a hub on the "Secret Life of Brocolli". It takes a special kind of comedic ability to write hubs like Evilpants, Rockinjoe, Mistyhorizon, and Iamadork. I definitely am interested in reading "Deep Thoughts" by Paris Hilton. hehe
LOL: The Definition
What? I missed it?
Must have been sleepin
VioletSun, you're selling yourself short. The title alone was brilliant. As funny as I like to think I am, I couldn't have come up with that one:)
Tom, take a Lunesta and go back to bed:)
Actually, you made a very fun hub out of something that could have been a huge turn off. Good job. I believe in my talent, but I'm going to make a hub or two tailor made to your taste.
Thanks Writer Rider. I'm sure you're very talented. We're just having some fun. I'm glad you enjoyed the hub abd I can't wait to read the work of a fiction writer who's planning on writing a boring hub or two. I appreciate the comment.
Great idea thanks rj and misty - but really I guess that as the winner B.T. Evilpants can honestly say that he bores for Hell.MI., or could he really say that he is so boring he bores for America? Just a thought.........
Hi ajcor. Actually BT and not the economy is responsible for Michigan's high unemployment. He's so boring people are too sleepy to go to work:) Thanks for the comment!
Great Hub, ImaDork. I just checked it out.
Im not that savy to keep people reading and if were to write more more I think I can be the bore..You keep us rockin joe. Great hub.
Thank a million Grumppa. I appreciate the compliment. And I just joined your fan club. (I thought I had joined before) Keep the hubs coming:)
Ok Joe, for what it's worth, my hub is out there :)
Here's the link: http://hubpages.com/_2ecigsmcq9jbj/hub/Naming-Your
I love The Queen of the Cylinders! Nice job!
Long live the queen!
I know b.t.evilpants already won, but I just thought of a good one:
"My Video of Me Counting the Hairs on My Arm"
ha ha thanks, cw. I'll definitely be doing another one soon.
Will past winners be allowed to participate in future contests? I have a couple of ideas brewing.
Absolutely BT, the state still lets you buy a lottery ticket after you win the 190 million...or so I've heard.
Trsmd says:
12 months ago
I think you are commenting about your own pages?????