The Much Maligned Sex Tourist

If you are expecting me to give any sort of defence here for paedophiles or the creatures who travel abroad to prey on underage children then forget it. I despise them and their kind. I would lock them all up for the rest of their natural lives because I know there is no cure.

Does that sound a bit extreme? Maybe so, but it is a view shared by probably 99.9% of those people who travel abroad for fun and romance...the so called and much maligned 'Sex Tourists"

Look at the the dictionary definitions below. They differ slightly, but time and again 'Sex Tourists' and Paedophiles get lumped together in newspapers and periodicals. This is so very very wrong.

There are several definitions of a sex tourist:

• "Someone who travels to a country for the sole purpose of having sex".
• "Travel for the purpose of sexual intercourse with prostitutes."
• "Someone who travels to another country for the purpose of paying to have sex, especially with children.
• "a vacation to a destination that has no restrictions on sexual services or activities, as prostitution."

But they don't do they. They eat, they drink, they stay in hotels, they visit the various sightseeing spots, they rent cars, they buy gifts for the folks back home, they watch movies, they dance, they swim, they spend money...oh oh and yes they have sexual relations too.

Tourists get a few dictionary definitions of their own:

• "Someone who travels for pleasure rather than for business."
• "one that makes a tour for pleasure or culture."
• "someone who visits a place for pleasure or interest, usually while they are on holiday."

Note the mention of 'pleasure' there. So what does a tourist actually do?

They eat, they drink, they stay in hotels, they visit the various sightseeing spots, they rent cars, they buy gifts for the folks back home, they watch movies, they dance, they swim, they spend money...oh oh and yes they have sexual relations too.....sometimes with their partners and sometimes with people they meet on their tour.

I will be the first to admit it. Men like beautiful women. They also like women who are friendly, women who listen to them, women who seem to care. These women may be younger than them by 20, 30 or even 40 years. If the women are adult, over the age of consent, are consenting and no-one is being hurt then I see nothing wrong in any relationship developing further.

Take a look at this:

Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas ...25 years different.

Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon ...12 years

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes ...16 years

Harrison Ford and Callista Flockhart ...22 years

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher ...16 years

Joan Collins and Percy Gibson ...32 years

Rod Stewart and Penny Lancaster ...26 years

Margaret and Pierre Trudeau ...30 years

Rupert Murdoch and Wendy Deng ...37 years

Woody Allen and Soon-Yi Previn ...34 years

Billy Joel and Katie Lee Joel ...32 years

Donald Trump and Melania Trump ...24 years

J. Howard Marshall and Anna Nicole-Smith ...63 years

Cary Grant and Barbara Harris ...47 years

Klaus Kinski and Deborah Caprioglio ...42 years

Des O'Connor and Jodie Brook Wilson ...39 years

Clint Eastwood and Dina Ruiz ...35 years

I could go on listing and listing.

Age is largely a state of mind and you really are only as old as you feel. No-one thinks twice about age differences if the people involved are rich and famous so why pick on the less well off? Is it jealousy perhaps? Or perhaps they don't like the idea of someone having fun.

Perhaps the reasons go deeper than this. None of us liked to think of our own parents doing 'it'. Even today the Idea of Howard and Anna Nicole makes me wince. Maybe its just human. We should all lighten up.

The very phrase 'sex tourist' to me conjures up a picture of a 'dirty old man' a 'pervert' but in reality it is nothing like that at all.

Okay they may be older tourists but what is wrong with being old? What is wrong with looking for love, romance, pleasure or fun?

Believe me when I say that in Pattaya or Phuket in Thailand or Balibago in Angeles City in the Philippines if you sit long enough you will see someone you know. It may be your doctor, your vicar, your bank manager, the man from the corner shop, your dad, your uncle, your brother, your grandad, husband or boyfriend. These people are the so called 'sex tourists'.

Not all these relationships are of short duration. You would be amazed at the number of men who over a glass of Thai Whiskey end up marrying Bar Girls or entering long term relationships with Kathoey.

Most people would be surprised to learn that the first women 'sex tourists' were recorded in the 1840's in straight laced Victorian England.

Today the most popular (but not confined too) destinations for women looking for temporary sexual liasons are South East Asia, Kenya, Turkey, Greece, Egypt and Gambia as well as Southern Europe.

It is estimated that 600,000 women visit the Caribbean each year as 'sex tourists'. Some local economies are heavily reliant on the visits of women, known as WOW's (Wealthy Older Women). It is not though confined to the old.

Movies play their part. 'Shirley Valentine' did actually play a part in promotion as did 'How Stella Got Her Groove Back'.

And with women the description usually gets changed from 'Sex Tourist' to something along the lines of 'A Shirley Valentine', 'A Holiday Romance', or 'A Bit of a Fling'. I feel that is a little bit unfair.

One would have to be a complete ostrich with head buried in the sand not to realise that our children do it too.

Their first holiday abroad alone or with their mates to Spain, Ibiza, Greece or wherever is not confined to lying on the beach, playing snooker and drinking beer.

There are the symposiums, the conferences, the annual general meetings, the golf holidays, the casino visits. So many of these take place far away from home. Exotic locations.

Why can people not just admit that underneath it all there is a hidden agenda. No, no-one likes to be called a sex tourist do they?

I stumbled upon the world of the 'Pleasure Tourist' by accident.

I took advantage of a cheap ticket from India to Bangkok just to see what it was like and eventually a year or so later ended up in Pattaya by accident. The same happened in the Philippines...I thought I was landing in Manila and ended up in Clark.

I don't regret either. I am an avid people watcher, it is probably my second favourite activity. I have seen a lot, learned a lot and continue to learn. Lastly, I admit it....I am no Angel.