Sissy May....."Wake up yall....it's Halloween time.....Truck "er" Treat...come on now ....it's two in the afternoon...Bobba Fred!....Cuntreba!...Jack!.....Get the f**k up right this minute!"

Bobba Fred comes out a the bedroom...stumbling with one hand down in his tighty whities...saying....."goldamm Sissy May!.....Wake up the whole damn trailer park why don't ya!...do ya have to get us up early.... every damn Halloween?.....hell we don't even get up this early on Hanksgiving!"

Sissy May..."Truck "er" Treat is at 4:00 and our kids aint bein' late this year!...Last year they got leftover.... jello shots...and Cuntreba got felt up by old Mr. Jones because YOU...SAID...HE...WAS...NOT...A...PEDEEFILE!"

Bobba Fred....."Hell Sissy May....Mr. Jones was just givin' her a ride in his lectric wheel chair.....just cause his blanket was all poked up...you think he is one a them sexual predicators....I learnt in my G...E...D Psyficyatrist class that sexual predicators hate their mothers....we both know that Mr. Jones slept with his momma till she died.....so there!...little Miss accusinater!"

Sissy May....."So...Mr. GE..damn..D....explain why....his Cabbage Patch collection all has holes in the bottoms!"

Bobba Fred....."Hell I don't know....maybe he got them at the scratch and dent sale?...what's for breakfast....I'm starved."

Sissy May..."We aint got no time for no breakfast.....we have to git our costumes on and get to Truck "er" Treatin'....and don't even think your gonna be that garden hose again...a damn yellow nozzle stickin' out a your tighty whities aint no fittin' costume for Halloween! We are puttin' Jezus back in Halloween this year dammit!"

Bobba Fred..."Actually oh wife of mine....I had planned on bein' J..E..Z..U..S!....I got my red velvet bathrobe and I'm replacin' the bible under the corner of the couch with...a...brick!"

Sissy may smiled real big and said...".Oh Bobba Fred...that is so perfect...I'm gonna be his girlfriend....that Mary Magnolia!"

Bobba Fred grinned saying...."Yer nippies is makin Hank's ears stick out on my concert T shirt again....how bout we.....uh"

Sissy may cut him off..."No...not now silly....we have to get ready.....where is them kids?....Cuntreba....Jack...get the hell up right now!....It's easter dammit!"

Cuntreba and Jack camed out of their bedroom rubbing their eyes....Cuntreba said...."momma...Jack was doin' that thing you told him not to do again last night!"

Sissy May grabbed Jack by the ear and shouted...."Theodore Jack Offin!...how many times have I told you that you will go blind for doin' that!....people go to hell for such things!"

Bobba Fred spoke up...."Your momma is right Jack....at least wait till your twelve next year to do them adult things....Sissy May...whut's the punishment?"

Sissy May...."Go out back in the creek....stick yer head in the water hole...raise yer arms to the sky and say 25 Hell Maries....put some clothes on first...you caint go out there naked!"

Jack went out the back trailer door and Sissy May grabbed Cuntreba and said...."come on sweety...I made you the best costume....you are gonna be the cutest little rabbit."

Bobba Fred questioned...."rabbit.....you mean like Halloweenie bunny....playboy Halloweenie bunny?"

Sissy may....Of course....damn Bobba Fred.....don't you know anything about Halloween?....Jezus's momma would a never knowed she was knocked up if the rabbit hadn't died....that rabbit laid a giant egg right there in the manger...split it's ass to it's ears......it was a multi colored egg and when Mary cracked it open an angel fell out and shouted JEEEEEZUS!...that's how they come up with his name!

Sissy May went on...."Then...one of the three wise guys gave baby Jezus a punkin full of gold...that is why we put candles in the punkins ya know.....then...king Herald got jealous and wanted to steal all that gold....Marie and her husband heard about it and dressed up like zombie shepherds to escape....the whole town dressed up like zombie shepherds and the ones that were too lazy to dress up...handed out candy and Camel cigarettes."

Bobba Fred snarled and said...."You don't have to be so showy offy...just cause that preacher taught you how to French kiss when you were 9 years old and baptized your momma in the hot tub....don't make you a profitess!"

Sissy May...."Just shut up and get your bath robe and bible....me and Cuntreba got to get dressed....when Jack gets back in....help him put on his Cheetoe's can cross...that was genius how you duct taped all them cans together sweety....bet he gets a prize at the Lawn Mower... punkin smashin' parade and picnic!"

The family was all dressed to go. Bobba Fred in his Jezus bath robe. Jack with his Cheetoe's cans on his arms and a Valvoline oil barrel around his waist.. Sissy May in her purple body suit with a checkered kitchen curtain as her scarf. Cuntreba with nothing but a short pink T shirt on....two halves of panty hose egg containers glued in front....two maxi pads strapped on her head with a rubber band for ears.

Bobba Fred carried 2 quarts of beer and three unlit joints in his mouth. They all piled in the Ranchero and were off to Truck "er" Treat in the trailer park.