I was quite certain it was starring back at me. Yes, it was; its return gaze taunting and mocking, urging me to give in to my addiction. I ran my fingers over its perfect hem and imagined how wonderful the silk would feel blowing in a cool Floridian breeze on my skin.

I snapped back to reality as my eyes ran over the price tag; this time an ice-cold dose of the real world represented in the numbers eight hundred and eighty five dollars. All the while the little voices, "Buy me, buy me!" seemed to beg, but it was now entirely too easy to thwart its draw.

There was no way, putting aside the minor detail that I had quite a shortage of financial backing, would I allow myself to purchase such an expensive item at this point in my life. Yet, I admittedly was still somewhat tempted. The shirt was quite beautiful.

Women are undeniably (and oftentimes incorrectly) branded as having a weakness for shopping and an inability to resist the pull of materialism. On the other hand, so are men, as they spend multitudes on their oversized and excessive "tech toys". Forgive the sexist remarks, but these stereotypes are quite prevalent, and although their accuracy is extremely debatable, there is one common truth: we all spend too much.

We spend money we have, we spend money we don't have, and we spend money that isn't ours. But why do we do it?

I believe there are two types of spenders:

1. People who spend because they need. These people tend to be less compulsive, more grounded, and a lot more organized with the management of their money.

2. People who spend because they want. These individuals buy with "emotion." Their actions are similar to people who eat because they feel depressed.

There are certainly people who fall into both categories, but chances are they will lean largely to one side more than the other.

"The Needy"

Once while visiting my father at his place of business, I glanced out the front window overlooking the parking lot and saw an elderly man attempting - with much effort - to exit the driver's seat of an old, beat-up Volkswagen. The paint was faded and worn, the front bumper was just barely hanging on, and the right front light had a noticeable crack in it. Apparently, his door did not want to open with ease either.

"Poor man," I said to my father as I watched the gentleman slam the creaky door closed and mouth some kind of obscenity, then chuckle to himself and walk toward the shop door.

"He is by no means a poor man," my dad smiled, then moved to welcome the man as he slowly entered the doorway. "Good morning Mr. Jones. Trouble with the old girl today, I see?"

"Ahh, she just needed some extra attention today," Mr. Jones reported with a smile. "Like all women, she gets needy in her old age."

Mr. Jones walked toward the plush leather chairs in my father's waiting area and started to thumb through an issue of Food & Wine. He was waiting for his wife to finish her weekly Wednesday appointment at the salon.

"She'll be done in just a minute," my dad told him. "Would you like something to drink in the meantime?"

Mr. Jones motioned him away. "No, no. I don't need anything, thank you."

I later learned that Mr. Jones was quite a wealthy gentleman. So wealthy, in fact, that he had a large monetary estate quite comparable to people we know to be obviously wealthy (aka "The Hiltons", "The Gates", etc.). But no one had ever heard of Mr. Jones. He wasn't listed on Forbes' most successful - he wasn't branded on the pages of newspapers or shiny magazine covers or plastered on billboards.

But why?

"He lives a very simple life," my father explained to me when I inquired further. "He lives off of only what he needs. For example, he has had that car for so long that I can't even tell you the year it was made. He has just always had it. He would say, ‘It runs. It is sufficient for me.'"

Although Mr. Jones preferred a simple, "no-frills" lifestyle, his wife preferred the opposite. Mrs. Jones chose to spend her husband's wealth on Mercedes and weekly hair/spa appointments, as well as trips to exotic islands and, of course, fine jewelry. It was okay, because he could well afford it, but his approach to life had been starkly different. He rarely - if ever purchased - something he himself did not need... unless it was for Mrs. Jones.

The mentality of those who choose to live on only what they need, rather than on the extravagances of materialistic desires, tend to have a quieter peace of mind. Of course, there are exceptions to this point of view, but for the most part - how many people do you know that conserve and prefer to live simplistically find themselves wrapped up in money issues? The "Needers" , as I call them, are happy with what they have. They set goals and aspirations for themselves, but usually these goals are based more on the attainment of simple, sheer success rather than the achievement of more "things". With them, success=personal fulfillment as opposed to success=more money to spend.

I later learned that Mr. Jones was donating the majority of his estate upon his death to charity, with a small portion going to ensure that Mrs. Jones would be able to live the duration of her time in complete comfort.

Needers are rare. Not only do they have to be financially savvy and smart, but they also have to have the ability to be happy with what they have - to be thankful and content. Many people equate success with high stress and high rewards. That is not always necessarily so. Sometimes the rewards can simply involve savoring achievement itself.

"The Wanters"

Wanters are interesting - in an opposite way from the Needers. They vary in range of severity, but they all have one basic similarity: they all feel wonderful spending. Some get their "temporary high" by purchasing items that make them feel good, but immediately regret their decisions later due to lack of money. Other Wanters can afford their lavish lifestyles, but often buy just to replace an empty void they are finding elsewhere in their lives.

Making a purchase, to the Wanters, is like making a decision to take an addictive drug. They know it isn't always the best thing. Sometimes the high will feel amazing - but the effects are often dangerous. Credit cards advertise all over college campuses: Buy now pay later! Get what you want now! We are in a time where culture demands us to have the best - the best clothes, the best cars, the best houses. The best and the biggest - and right away.

The severity of a Wanter's addiction to materialism depends on the underlying issues causing the spending. Is the spending caused by an insecurity such as "not fitting in"? Maybe the Wanter has several other problems in their life they aren't able to control; a failing marriage, a failing career, a failing life overall. Some even spend money just to showcase their assumed power, but yet even that can lead to an underlying inferiority complex. Spending gives them that momentary satisfaction or a long-term security blanket covering their impression of success.

I am not saying that every person that enjoys spending money has an underlying issue. There are many people that buy things purely for their satisfaction; for instance, a father buying a brand new baby grand for his daughter to learn the piano on, or a young man who recently hit it big with his career decides to buy a new apartment for himself. But the Wanters who are finding trouble controlling their spending, or who spend just for "show", in many cases have some kind of insecurity.

Why do our materialistic adornments - our labels, our vehicles, our massive utility-eating homes - define so many of us as people? Why is the image (or illusion) of wealth so important to us? Why is being envied such a remarkable high?

The answers to these questions could take several books to answer, but the important thing is to know how to control these irrational (but human) tendencies.

Most importantly, define your threshold - then restrict it. Take my example with the designer shirt. The problem is, had that shirt been $100, I might have purchased it even though I did not have the funds with which to do so. I would have more than likely stuck it on a credit card, only to wake up the next morning with worry and doubt about the intelligence of the purchase. Although almost a thousand dollars for a shirt at the moment seemed ridiculous to me, it didn't seem quite as ridiculous to put another $100 on a credit card already almost maxed out. My threshold for a shirt purchase to not "completely sound ridiculous" is around $100. Know what your threshold is and limit it: I will not purchase anything with which I cannot pay cash. This would probably lower my threshold to about $50. A shirt, then, with my financial budget would seem sensible in the 0-50 dollar range.

This is like forming a "psychological budget". It is factoring in your desires and wants and taming them to reflect what you can realistically afford. (Again, I must insert the benefit of creating a budget here). Avoid the "pay later" mentality. If you can afford it now, fine. If you cannot - wait until a tomorrow when you can.

I am a firm believer that the human mind can be programmed to do what the human inside of us tells it to do. Learn to accept yourself for your non-monetary gains; to appreciate life from a standpoint that rewards yourself for your hard work rather than your cash. The goal is to see your spending habits slowly (but surely), lean you more toward the end of the scale that makes you feel satisfied with the things that you need.