Here's part 7. There are no photos...I lack the desire to take them right now. Right now all I want is to type these stories. Right now all I want is a freaking nap. Anyway....here's a few more. Man this notebook is falling apart.

I feel like a mess today. I don't know why. Seems to be a nice day. My head aches, my eyes are heavy. Sleep will not come, to this tired body now. My shoulders are sore, my nose is stuffed. Love is suicide. I don't know what lies ahead of me. Be sure to check the news and watch the weather. Don't look outside. The earth laughs beneath my heavy feet. Tragedy strikes as the weatherman is wrong again. Who would've guessed? Blue skies, faint winds, a hot sun. Farewell, good night, last one out turn out the lights. If only the world opened and swallowed all the dying trees, the faded grass, and me. All things ugly to the center of the earth. The world frowns upon imperfections. Please. Worry about how you look, about how the world perceives you. Make yourself presentable. I have a problem, and Mary's not a stupid girl. I have a constant need of approval. Approve of me. Love me. Hate me. I don't know anymore. Dead eyes, are you just like me? Contradictory to belief it takes two direct blows to the nose to make you want to get decked in the neck. My head aches. The sun shines but I don't. My eyes are heavy. I just want sleep. I want to destroy every single second of my life. Count on me. Count on me to self destruct. The clouds roll by. The sky is still blue. We were sure we'd never see an end to it all. Then comes the rain.

My thoughts have run wild. I can't see where my brain i taking me. This can't be all that matters. Think harder. It's your choice. No decision should be this hard. Weigh the differences, pros,cons, and the weight is overbearing. What are you going to do?

I know how it is. You try to be a leader, you try to be the best. You try to make sure that no one else can do the things that you can do. They are all watching. Waiting. They want you to mess up. They want to step up and become the best. They want your life. They want your dreams. They want you to fall. Just stand up. Stand up, keep doing what you do, because no one else can do it. Knock it into your head. You are in control. Seize your life. See yourself. Get some sense, make some dollars. It's all yours.

Hired on a whim. Fired on a whim. Entered in a whir. Slow down. Put some clothes on and call me. You can't know the thoughts inside my mind. You can't know the things I've seen. Here's some trivia for you......who was the first to blow up an entire town of children? A faggot. pardon my mouth. I shouldn't talk that way. I want to watch a kid getting beaten with sticksbyfive of his so called buddies. I want to run someone over so bad. My car begs me to everyday. I've lost control of my senses, my feelings, my judgement....myself. Ho absurd. The things I've seen. The things I've heard. Who was the first to blow up an entire town of faggots? A homo. Again, I apologize. I don't know where my head is at. Keep your clothes on. That's not where my thoughts are. You can call me though. Anytime.