The Reasons Women Keep Their Maiden Name

Once upon a time, not so long ago, it was an expected and accepted practice to assume a husband's surname. Any deviation from that was viewed with suspicion. After all, it's part of the marriage contract to give up references to a previous life...or is it?

More and more women are choosing to either keep their maiden names, or hyphenate them with their husband's surname. It doesn't mean they're bra-burning liberalists, but for a lot of different reasons, they're retaining their identity (the one they were born with).

The number one reason for refusing to do a complete name switch is a professional one. Imagine going to college and university, building a practice or reputation, and then dropping off the face of the earth. That's essentially what happens when Dr. Sue Smith becomes Dr. Sue Jones. Sure, her receptionist knows who and what she is, but what of potential clients who try to look her up in a phone book? That theory applies to many occupations. It can take years to become established, and one "I do" to erase all our hard work.

The second biggest reason for maiden name retention or hyphenation is preserving the family tree. Your intended might be the last in her line, with no male relatives to carry on the family name.

There's one more reason, and this one is a stinger. Your in-laws chose your woman's first name to go with her last. It could be that the combination of her first name and YOUR last name sucks. Remember the bit in The Wedding Planner when the hapless bride-to-be is reciting "Julia Gulia" in front of the mirror? Same idea. If our name is going to become a joke, we'll reserve the option to pass thanks.

Of course, there's always compromise. Your new wife could do the legal name change, but like me, use a different name for each thing that she does. How would you introduce her? By her first name only. "This is my wife Janet." No need for details, explanations, etc.

The moral of this story is that if your woman decides not to change her name, or use a multitude of names, don't get your nose out of joint or start peeing on the furniture to establish male dominion. She most likely has a perfectly sane explanation for it, one which has nothing to do with your masculinity.

Copyright 2007, Arlie MacGregor