"The Road Not Taken"
71
THE ROAD NOT TAKEN
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
-Robert Frost
I have always been one that didn't fit in.
When I was 6 we left our home in Boise, to venture to Denver so dad could go to college. He graduated two years later and we journeyed to Winnipeg, Canada so he could try his hand in real estate. Eight months later, mom, sick of the snow and cold, dad out of work, packed up, yet again and we moved to Seattle.
It was endlessly pointed out to me in Canada that I was their "little Yank".."Tell us about America, Candie!" I'm 8. I know the apartments in Denver, the hiking in the Rockies, the huge Easter egg hunt on the lawn. I know the shopping strip by my Grandma's home in Boise. I know the hot-springs pool down the highway from my other grandparent's farm in Marsing. That was "America" to me. I felt like a fool, an outcast. I was laughed at, endlessly. I learned to say "mum" and sing "O Canada." When we got to Seattle I was referred to as "Candie our little Canuck!" Listen to her say "mum" and she can't say the "Pledge of Allegiance..tsk tsk." These from the adults, the teachers, the Girl Scout leaders.
I tried to
fit in. I tried and quit. It's amazing to me how this all went into
making me so strong, yet there was a part of me trying to find my
place. I had friends. I had fun. Still I sought out solitude.
Fighting the unknown
I settled for mediocrity in eduction, but I learned to excel in
sports. I was an incredible swimmer, I was in training at 10 for
competitions, yet something terrified me of water. I fought against
that fear for years.
In
the mid 80s I started scuba diving.
I dove with the areas best. We pushed the limits, we were in the water
every day for several years. It wasn't unusual to go down 120 feet. It
wasn't unusual to dive the incredible currents in the San Juan
Islands. Still my fear gripped me. It haunted my
dreams when I had my son. Always cars underwater. Fear, panic,
helplessness.
I was flying with my folks and I was sitting by
my mother and telling her about this and she looked at me, stricken.
"What?" "You don't remember." "Remember? What?" "When you were 3" "No.
what about 3?" "You were playing in the lake with Davey and Davey came
in and you didn't." "Go on" "Daddy went out and found you on the bottom
in a foot of water. He hit you on the back till you coughed up water.
You were fine..Thank the Lord." "I drowned?" "Yep" I never knew.
That
encounter changed the way I look at water. The fear is gone. It had a
name, It had a reason, It is gone. Also gone is the sadness of being
ridiculed as a kid. I am different. I am proud of it.
I Am a Survivor
Not just of drowning. I am a survivor of violent marriages. Being choked. Being hit. Being locked in rooms. Threatened with a gun. I am a survivor.
I could have taken the road of self-pity. Heaven knows that option is always there. I could have taken the road of being weak and timid. That is always there, too.
I took the road I'm on
now. I have many stories. Some are happier than others. The joy I have
is born of "the other" stories. I am a reader, and to the horror of my
friends, I get about a forth into it and then read the last page..go
back and read the book. When I know the end I can settle in and live
the story.
When my husband left four years ago I told God I wanted to know how this all ends. It felt to me He said "No! You don't get to know the ending. You have to trust." "Stay on this path" "You'll be safe".
So this road takes me here. Where I never would have dreamed I'd be. I am safe. I am stronger. I look at my stories differently now, too. There is a funny side to many of them I didn't see before. When you're in a battle you loose the funny side. Now I see them and laugh! Really laugh!
On this road I am a survivor.
This is my "road less traveled."
A friend called me today to tell me her husband has been having an affair. Like mine did. She had no one else she knew she could trust with this. I felt her pain, heard her pain, yet I could see an end I never could see for myself in the heat of my battle. I have never known a greater honor than to be trusted with her hurting heart. To walk her path with her as she learns what I did. How to end "more excellent" than you start. How to survive.
This is what "it made all the difference" means to me.
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Comments
Hmmm...like the journey is more important than the destination? I guess you have to follow your inner compass. :)
From a fellow survivor, well done! We can form a new party and call it Surviviors United!
That poem always seemed so limited to me, as it confines ya to roadways or paths. Sometimes there is no path. You have obviously been able to forge ahead and make your own road -- and that, I think, is what has made all the difference. Well done!
Chris - exactly. thank you
FP - to me it is about planning the destination, then walking the road well.
Cindy - I would join in a heartbeat!
Teresa - To me anywhere I walk is a path, and there is always a choice to change direction. Sometimes I have to make my own..
Thank you all for walking this on with me!
The road that we travel has been ordained by God. Our Lord told us that "strait is the gate, and narrow is the way which leadeth unto life and few there be that find it", for it is the road less traveled. Those that were the cast outs and ostracised were often the ones that Christ drew unto himself. The NEEDY. We are the ones that see our need and inability and fears more intensely than others and the Lord full of compassion for us is able to come along side and comfort us because he new what it was to be rejected and abused. In his sheep he creates that naked hollow empty place in our hearts that only He can fill. "My sheep hear my voice and they come unto me". "I am the good shepherd:the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep".
God places a high value on His elect; after all it cost the life of His Son, a man acquainted with grief and sorrows. That high value is equated to Gold and Gold must be put in the fiery furnace to purge away all impurities. We as God's elect becomes more valuable after we have been placed into the hot crucible of life in order to purify us for His Kingdom. Gold is cast into the furnace because it is *GOLD*.
Thank you Larry! That's the path I'm on.. the one less traveled!! It's turned out to be the best path of all!
Yes and a sweet thing to behold****Golden**
'Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger"..."builds character". Well, many times when my life was upside down, I didn't *want* to be stronger, and I had *enough* character already (I thought). These days I feel kinda sorry for those who've had it easy, who never had to choose between two paths and then live with the decision. What pansies!
Survivors United? Where do I sign up?
JG - you are right, I once told my mom I want peace, I want simple, even if I'm in complete denial. She said we don't get that life (my father's health isn't well)..but we have each other and God, and friends and you'll be ok. I am ok, she was right.. We ain't no pansies!
A very nice hub. I particularly like this line, How to end "more excellent" than you start.
I've been down many roads in my life, some better than others. Often, I tend to go where my heart leads me. Other times, I've taken roads of necessity. All of which has led me to where I am, in as good a place as possible.
It will be interesting to see where future roads will lead. Thanks for sharing and welcome to HubPages.
Thank you trish! It means a lot to me to have you say these things!
Thank you for sharing this. I think in the final analysis, we have to bear the responsibility for whatever happens on the road we take. We have to be strong to take on the challenges which all of us have to face, to lesser or greater degree.
Sabu- I agree and yet doing the "stong" in the heat of battle can be a battle itself. It is so easy to quit, I'm glad I didn't and now can walk with my friend to help her find her strength! Thank you!
Each new page I read of yours seems better than the last, this one was excellent and as a fellow survivor it is inspiring to read about your walk on the Road less travelled
Maggs - I had trouble doing this one. I have a friend who has many blogs and I went to her with this.. she said it's important, but not to 'linger' here, so I haven't. Only survivors understand this place. To say I'm honored isn't strong enuf. It puts me in awe of others who have walked here. I wish/hope we leave a trail for others to follow. To see the other side. To be more excellent than they started out.
Hi Candie, when we are able to look at the events and challenges that we faced and be able to laugh, really laughed, indeed we have been healed. Thank you for writing this inspirational hub. Keep sharing your light... :-)
Michelle
Thank you, Michelle. He was laughter, and I am re-learning how to laugh alone!
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-I took the one less traveled by,And that has made all the difference..."
A Simply Brilliant Poem. Isn't it amazing to see your life and know that you took the road less traveled by? The hard way is the best way...once you arrive at a point where you can look back at the journey. This is a great hub and makes for a good discussion topic...too, Candie V. Enjoy the high road that you have taken through life.
MPM- many many thanks! Looking back bring brings both sadness and victory. Both bring something amazing to all of us..it's in moving forward with the better perspective!
The road less travelled - it needs strength to take that road - I guess if we walk down it with a smile and face what it has to throw up with courage, that's what really matters! And it helps to have Someone by your side!
Shalini - I travelled a great portion of my road alone, fear of letting anyone see the pain.. No longer. I have found when you share, even a little bit, people know how to come along side. You can't let them fix you, you do have to do it internally, for yourself, but the support is priceless.. All of you have done that for me so much, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
It must have been so hard - but you've not only fixed things inside, you give so much of yourself - it's only then that people walk with you and support you - it all comes from you and back to you :)
And now it's time to give back.. cuz I'm sure I may need it again!
Great Hub Candie!
Thank you Trooper! It's nice to have your visits and comments. They make me smile!
your writing can bring me to tears. Not bad tears, good tears. Because I know you are a survivor, I know you are strong. I am so proud of you and so thankful for having you around :) There is so much good in you, so much strength it gives me goosebumps. I always feel like I just wanna wrap you in a big bear hug and squeeze.
Life is not a book we can skip to the ending of. It rarely fits into one specific genre and it can never be judged by the cover. The synopsis on the back is written in the memories we choose to remeber. The ones that makes us laugh and cry and shape the people we become. We write the reviews to our own stories and present the overview we wish to share. You can't skip to the end CV, you'll miss the journey :)
Ah, Janetta! In the shaping of us, we then shape the next generations. I told my mom once, after "he" left, I will raise my son to the best of my abilities, then pay for his therapy later!
I agree, we don't get to know how our closest relationships will go. We also don't get to know the new ones, the great ones, forged from the earlier experiences. To be the best I can be at this moment, is my deepest desire. You have become one of those great friendships and I dearly appreciate your heart and insight! I see your bear hug, and return it with equal enthusiasm!
Oh, Candie...I am so moved by your honesty and courage. You are right about the road of self-pity and despair. It may be the easier of the roads, but it leads only further down.
I am coming once again to yet another fork in my road. The decisions are made, only the final leaving is yet to come. I am glad I found this hub just now because I needed to rehear these things.
Thanks again, my fellow traveler.
Hey RedElf! The decisions we make, the steps we take must be considered carefully, to be sure. Then the courage to follow the right path must be mustered. This is the scariest of all and altho we can have friends who encourage us, in the end it is our choice to move forward. I pray you have just such friends and the courage to pick the right road.
Great hub! Sometimes we must take the road less traveled.
Yorkies - There is always that choice before us, and the courage to choose well is where we gain our most significant strength! Thank you!
Candi, I can tell you have been through alot. When we go through these battles in life, it makes us stronger. You are very courageous and intellegent. This is a heart-filled hub.
Thank you for sharing!
UK, I thank you for your visit and comments! Trying to put the right heart into a piece is difficult for me. This one was special to me and I'm grateful you enjoyed it!
hi are you still travelling down the right road..... have meant to read your hubs for a while, but at last getting round to it.... keep surviving
Hey Brenda! Thank you for stopping in again! I'm still on the right one.. for today anyway! Surviving.. yes, that I am! Thank you!
A BEAUTIFUL STORY & YES SO TRUE..We travel many roads in our life,some from our own choices & some from others.We take some of the right roads & other times we get off course & follow the wrong road.But I believe that they all lead back to the right road.God bless you.Keep on keeping on with the strength God has given you.
Linda, thank you for this lovely message and I sure appreciate you stopping by! Come back again soon!
Keep sloggin on the path lass it's not about the destination it's all about the journey! Great Hub!
Hmrjmr1 - Thank you!! "Sloggin" is what I do best!! Thank you for joining me on this journey, look forward to crossing paths with you again!
Cris A says:
8 months ago
Yes so many roads to take and so many to choose from. But ultimately it's not the road you chose to tread on but how you reached the end of each. Thanks for sharing ;D