The SMS Break Up

The SMS break up is a phenomenon of the wired age. An SMS break up has advantages for the breaker-up, because they don't have to face the ex-object of their desire, or see the hurt and confusion the SMS break up is causing. Therefore, an SMS break up is much less emotionally demanding for the breaker-up than a face to face dumping would be.

For this reason, thousands of (mostly younger) people flock to websites which offer hundreds of possible SMS break up SMS. Someone choosing an SMS break up generally finds it easier to have the dumping words written for them. If you download, or copy and paste, the SMS break up text message, then you can avoid even the small emotional discomfort of actually thinking through what words you will use in the SMS break up.

If you have recieved a break up SMS, all is not lost. Of your ex opted for an SMS break up, you can be pretty confident that they don't know the timeless secrets of subconscious psychology which can turn even the worst break up disaster into a loving reunion. Learning those secrets will put you in control of the situation, instantly - and give you a step by step plan to have your ex begging you to give them a second chance.

The recipient of the SMS break up text experiences much more pain than the abandoned party in a traditional face to face break up. When you are physically next to the person dumping you, it is possible to feel their hesitation, their conflicted feelings, and their own hurt. An SMS break up makes the same words seem harsher, because the emotional subtext is missing.

Add to that the temptation to choose an SMS break up text which is flippant, or even cruel, like these examples, and an SMS break up becomes truly devastating.

Skipping out on the face to face break up conversation in favor of a quick break up SMS removes any chance that the abandoned party might be able to influence the decision to break up. The situation is left hanging, and the recipient of the break up SMS therefore has much more unresolved anger and hurt to process.

Of course, the sender of the break up SMS doesn't have to be aware of that, because they are not in the room when the break up SMS arrives. The sender of the break up SMS can be out having a beer while their now-ex is discovering their new situation. The break up SMS message doesn't feel guilty, and can't be talked in to changing its mind.

Sending a break up SMS is like firing a bullet - the sender doesn't need to get blood on their hands.

If you have ever received a break up SMS, you will quite likely have a total understanding of the problem with an SMS break up. If you have only ever been the sender in an SMS break up, you might be tempted to think that they are all up side for you.

As the more relationship-savvy readers will be aware, ditching a face to face conversation and sending a break up SMS instead is not in the long-term best interests of the breaker-up, either.

Relationships take place between human beings, and they take place at the level of emotion. Only 7% of the information exchanged between people in a conversation is contained in the words. We grow and develop as human beings through the constant interplay of the other 93% of information, much more than we do from the measly 7% that is contained in the words we speak.

An SMS break up is only words. And, truth be told, an SMS break up contains far fewer words than a face to face break up conversation would - even the old-fashioned "Dear John" letter, back in the olden days when people actually spread ink around on paper using pointed sticks, contains about two or three orders of magnitude more words, and therefore more information, than a break up SMS.

An SMS break up, therefore, has roughly 0.07% the emotional growth value of a face to face break up conversation.

And why would the sender of the break up SMS care about emotional growth?

Relationships are the major place that we develop emotionally, overcome the emotional scars of our childhoods (yes, Virginia, we all have them), and build a secure foundation for creating the life we desire.

If you are breaking up with someone, then you clearly have things to learn in the area of relationships and emotional development. Of course, if you are planning an SMS break up, you probably think that the other person is the only one with things to learn. You can deliver the SMS break up, get rid of the problem, and go find someone better - if you haven't already.

Guess what? The next one is likely to be a case of "different name, same game". Withinh a few week or months, you will be back at the SMS break up web site, shopping for your next SMS break up message.

Until you gain a level of emotional skill, relationships will be a constant, energy draining, roller coaster ride of drama in your life. You will end up with SMS break up texts bookmarked in advance, ready for the next time you need one, because you know you will.

If your relationships are a constant source of drama, you will miss out on the opportunity to have the life you really desire. Until you reach a certain level of emotional maturity, you will ride the roller coaster round in circles instead of powering the Formula 1 race car to true fulfilment.

It's that simple. Emotional skills bring you all the goodies in life - and you don't gain any by SMS break up!

If you do get dumped via a SMS break up, it is important not to panic. Although an SMS break up is horribly painful, this is the time when you most need a level head.

The fact that your ex chose an SMS break up is because they didn't want to see your pain. Why wouldn't they want to see your pain?

Because they still care about you!

If they genuinely didn't care any more, they wouldn't feel any need to hide behind an SMS break up.

Now, given that they do genuinely care, deep down, all you need to do is manage the process of making up again.

Remind yourself that your ex doesn't know the relationship secrets you know, and that you can invisibly lay down the path that will lead your ex back to you - thinking all the time that it was their own idea.