The Scuffed Heart
61
Her bedroom door was scuffed
With the black anger of tiny feet
She slammed it, hard
The door jamb shook.
As hard as she kicked that door
She knew things would never
Return to the day before.
The day before,
Papa left for the flightline
But never came home.
She never imagined a lifetime
Of no more bedtime stories
And goodnight kisses.
Her world turned as black
As her mother’s dress
Not realizing he’d never be back
She never knew one bright September day
Her sun would set the morning he left
As darkness fell, was born distress.
The day the laughter died.
F-100 Super Sabre
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Comments
Thank you, Philip. I tried to write more, to explain the source of her anger, but as yet, it doesn't sound right to me. I truly appreciate your comment. I struggle with poetry. :-)
It's quite good. I struggle with it, too. But I think that's the draw. Everytime I'm finished I just see incomplete expression in my stuff, and I keep thinking, I have to dig deeper...DEEPER". In an interesting coincidence, I was just talking to a young Marine Corps pilot who had just returned from Iraq. (I was at the gym and noticed his USMC t-shirt. I'm a ex-Marine myself.) Is this poem about a girl you know?
The pilot was my father. He served as USAF test pilot (after serving in WWII and Korea).
Very nice Dink. Glad to see you're sticking with the poetry. I love the photo of your dad. He was so handsome.
Thank you, Alekhouse. I owe it all to HubPages and my Creative Writing prof! He says you can't develop as a writer if you don't keep writing. Makes sense...
You managed to capture the melancholy inside of you, Dink. I just can't get over this line:
Her bedroom door was scuffed
With the black anger of tiny feet
I really liked it. You could go as far as saying it left an "impression" on me. Find the strength within yourself and use it to your writing advantage. Never give up.
I continue to search for that strength and use it. I appreciate the comment and encouraging words, Dohn121.
passionate and tragic..really felt the message of it.
my heart was pinched.
thanks for sharing Dink ;p
breath-taking, cacptivating ! Keep up the great work, i totally loved the imagery.
philip carey 61 says:
3 months ago
Succinct and evocative. I like it.