If you could travel back in time with the knowledge that you have now, would you still make the same decisions that you made then?

When I look back over my career I see many opportunities where I could have done so much better, been sharper, impacted those around me even more.

Hindsight offers us many things, things to learn, reflect and do better in the future. Ten years ago when I was working for a Blue Chip business within the Retail industry in the United Kingdom I learnt a superb lesson that has stood with me throughout my career.

It was May, I had just finished a project for store re-design, not sure what I was going to do, I had applied for me dream role as an Area Manager and had been through a 4 stage assessment process, I got to a road show I was attending and I was pulled to one side by the divisional Manager and told I had got the role! I was 24 and no one had ever done this before! I am sure like me you can all remember a time when we have achieved that something, for me the euphoria was just all consuming.

Several months later and I'd been in the role for some time I was having a challenge with one particular individual. At the time I had a team with 26 direct reports and a headcount of 300+. Every Monday it was my job to cascade information to my team from the wider business. Through listening to the best Area Managers I had discovered the best way was to communicate through some Senior Managers and then out to the wider team. Sounds logical, feels right yet for one individual called Rodney (fictional) it just did not work.

On a Monday I would also review specific business goals with the Senior Manager, it was here I had to confront my challenge head on. Every week I would call him, every week we would debate every detail of everything I had to talk about, calls were gruesome, tiring, boring, I remember approaching the call and feeling angst and dread. Mondays came and went and I kept trying to lead, maybe inspire maybe motivate or get through to Rodney. Over time I became resentful and if you asked him how he felt or saw things, in fact this I did later on in our relationship, his life had become really stressful and difficult.

It was pretty evident that my approach was not working, although I could not see it eventually I did. I remember it well. Monday morning came I had decided to fulfill my role function this day out of the store of Rodney.

On the way to the store I called a Coach friend of mine and asked him if he would help me with the challenge that lay ahead this day. We spoke for all the journey and he listened shared some great suggestions, basics of rapport building, listening and it was here that he gave me some home truths about my role to date. I will share this with you in a moment.

I remember his face well as I walked in having let him know on the Sunday I was coming, he looked concerned. I settled down for the day and I asked him to join me, to work closely with me for the day. It was at this moment I changed my approach for the 1st time, simply allowing him to be him, I listened, reflected his style, listened even more, made every effort possible to speak in his style, I matched his logic with logic and we got through the day.

For the 1st time we seem to have built genuine rapport, we had actually got on; believe it or not we actually had fun. IT WAS A BREAKTHROUGH! As the months afterwards followed on we grew a healthy relationship that has stayed with for this day. Rodney calls me at key moments in his life for an objective view when he really needs it; this was built on just one change.

Can you guess what it was? The one thing that I had to change, the nugget from my Coach was just one small thing- "STOP SEEING THE WORLD THROUGH YOUR OWN EYES ONLY AND STOP and CONSIDER THE VIEW OF THE WORLD THEY MAY BE SEEING".

It was at this moment that I realised for the first time in my career that I have the ability to gain the knowledge that I should know, to use when I needed to know it so that I could be at my very best, more of the time.

Some Clues:

• I kept speaking in my language preferences, kinesthetic and visual.
  
• I was more concerned with my thoughts and actions I did not listen.
  
• I expected Rodney to change.
  

When I applied these lessons across my team, the effect was staggering. Increasing performance, morale, engagement and welfare all in one small moment. I owe a lot to Rodney and the lessons he taught me in my infant voyage as an Area Manager.

Learn today and STOP focusing all your attention on your thoughts both internal and external (in your head or outside your head). START listening properly and observing your impact as you communicate with those around you.

Continue to learn the things you should know, to know "HOW" to be even more effective every time you do anything in your life.

If you want to know more visit our website www.stratagemplus.com or email me on dave.evans@stratagemplus.org would love to hear from you.