I haven't been married long - only about 8 months - but I have discovered and learned many things that every couple should practice and maintain to keep their marriages healthy and long lasting. 

The number one thing that every couple should practice is COMMUNICATION!  People can't read minds and they aren't very good at guessing games. 

Us ladies sure do know how to give good hints and pick up on hints, but our guys just aren't as astute.  Hinting about what you would like for Christmas, where you want to go this weekend, what you like in bed, or expecting him to notice your new shoes isn't realistic.  You need to be open and honest about everything.  One way to get what you want?  Tell him directly.  "Honey, I want a new necklace for my birthday" gets better results than, "Gee, my jewelry box is bare..."  I learned that blunt communication works best with my guy.  I can't suggest or hint that he do the dishes or take the trash to the dump, I have to tell him. 

And guys, if you're frustrated with your wife, tread carefully, we tend to take most things personally.  Telling us that we're getting fat won't blow over as well as you suggesting a hiking trip.  You need to be subtle but firm.  Can't stand how we decorate the house?  Say so, but in a helpful way.  Don't tell us, "Those curtains look stupid." say it more like, "I like the look of these better".  Some women will do things you don't like just to be a bit spiteful (or so I've noticed), so if you're telling her she's getting fat, she's going to cancel that gym membership and if you hate her curtains, she'll get couch covers to match.  Get your point across and give us your opinion. 

I know a lot of unhappy couples. They tell me I'm lucky or that they're jealous of what I have in my marriage. Some are married and some are flying through dates really fast. The thing I've noticed most about these unhappy people is that they nag or complain way too much.

I have a co-worker who has been dating her guy for over 3 years. She says she'll never marry him because of his many faults. It makes me wonder how many faults he really has or if the main problem is with her...

Another friend was so desperate to find his true love that he smothered his chances before they got to know how great he is.

A family friend nags her husband so much that it makes us cringe to watch. She bosses him around like a slave and I don't think I've ever heard her say something pleasant to him. They've been married for years and I don't understand how or why he puts up with it.

If you really can't see anything nice in your partner, you should end the relationship.  To sit there and complain not only makes you look like a jerk but it doesn't make anything better.  It works the other direction too.  You shouldn't put up with rude and belittling comments.  Your spouse has no right to treat you like dirt.

My opinion is that you should love your spouse (or try to) unconditionally. So what if he lost his job, he'll get another. She shrank your favorite shirt you've had since highschool but is it really that important? You need to be able to forgive and forget. Your spouse is a human being who makes mistakes just like you. Anything they do to annoy or upset you really isn't going to make a difference in the long run.

Another really big wedge in a marriage is the fact that the everyday chores or projects aren't shared equally. I don't think my own father ever did the dishes and I know he doesn't know how to make Jello. My mom does all the laundry, dishes, general cleaning and also works part time. I know a lot of you guys have hard, stressful jobs but it's not like your wife doesn't also deal with those issues. Now, it's possible that your guy is oblivious to how much you do because to him, it doesn't matter if the floor never gets vacuumed or the laundry sits for weeks, he'll just wear the stuff on the top of the pile.

For about 6 months I did all the cleaning and maintainance and bill paying because I figured that's just how it worked. It started bugging me that the toilet paper roll was ALWAYS empty, how the dishes were left around the house, and how the wet towels in the bathroom were just lumped onto the floor. I finally put my foot down. My husband hadn't even realized that it was wearing on me and now he takes an equal half of the chores. He doesn't even mind doing them!

It really all boils down to my first point - communication. If I had said something sooner, there wouldn't have even been feelings of animosity at all.

 A lot of the tactics used to make you fall in love disappear after marriage.  Why?  Because once you've snagged your spouse, the hard part is over and we tend to relax.  Dressing up is no longer necessary, shaving your legs isn't as important and leaving sweet surprises for your spouse to find goes to the bottom of the list.  This is why many marriages go stagnant. 

I try to do at least one romantic thing every week.  It doesn't matter if it's a love note, dressing up for bed, or making his favorite dish, I make sure it's something special.  It only takes a moment and it definitely keeps the romance alive.  My husband is into art and likes to paint with water colors.  Every now and then I'll get a new painting or a card with a love note in it.  I get regular massages and sometimes I come home to a freshly drawn bubble bath.  Again, these things don't take up much of our time but they let us know that we're still special and loved by the other.

Now, I know I've only been married for 8 months and things could change, but all of these things are so simple to practice and we're already in the habit of using them.  I don't see any changes on the horizon but only time will tell.