The 2008 football season is less than 3 weeks away and starts on Thursday, Sept. 4th(THANK GOD!) and I feel it's high time I tell my predictions for the coming season. Yes, I have taken into consideration every draft pick, every injury, and every trade(even Favregate) and these picks are good unless Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, Tony Romo, Brett Favre, David Garrard, Ben Roethlisberger, and Philip Rivers all die in a horrible barbecue grill explosion at Jessica Simpson's house because she thought she could grill a mean tuna(or is it chicken). I've also taken the liberty of adding a few sentences about every team so that all men from the misinformed to the ones who usually watch HGTV while football is on and even the future bandwagoners can say something that sounds like they know what they're talking about. Enjoy!

NFC North

Chicago - (4-12) "I really can't believe that Chicago didn't use their first round draft pick on Joe Flacco for QB. It's probably because they got burned when they picked Grossman first in 2003. Between Grossman and Orton, their season isn't looking too good."

Minnesota - (9-7) "I'm really excited that the Vikings added Jared Allen to the defense, and it's too bad that Madieu Williams is going to be out for like 6 weeks. I think if Tarvaris Jackson is limited to being a short range passer, he'll be a decent QB this season."

Green Bay - (11-5) "Say what you will about Favre, but I think Aaron Rodgers will do alright especially since the Packers still have the same core of guys when Brett was around."

Detroit - (6-10) "I know they beat the Giants, but that was PRESEASON! For the last 6 seasons, the Lions have consistently had losing streaks of at least 4 games and since they traded Shaun Rogers, I don't see that pattern changing this year."

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons - (5-11) "The Falcons might have lost Dunn, Crumpler, and Hall, but now they should have a group of players that are ready to help rebuild that franchise."

Carolina Panthers - (9-7) "I can't believe they don't have Kris Jenkins anymore, but 63% of Carolina's games are against sub .500 teams so John Fox's job should be safe this season."

Tampa Bay Buccaneers - (9-7) "I think it's bad how Tampa Bay's head office has treated Jeff Garcia with all of the Favre trade talk. He's been getting slighted even back when he was in Philly."

New Orleans Saints - (10-6) "Now that the Saints have Jeremy Shockey, if their starters are all healthy, especially Deuce McAllister, then they're going to the playoffs."

NFC East

New York Giants - (11-5) "I know the Giants lost Strahan, Wilson, Joseph, Mitchell, and Torbor, but they also picked up Knight and what will keep the Giants alive is the same teamwork they used against the Pats last year."

Washington Redskins - (11-5) "Last season, the Skins ranked #8 in overall defense and now that they've got Jason Taylor, I'm calling FedEx Field "Sacktown"(it's my copywritten word, but you can use it 3 times sparingly if you like)."

Philadelphia Eagles - (9-7) "The Eagles will get better over the years because they have a team with 26 players that have two years of experience or less."

Dallas Cowboys - (13-3) "This is the team to beat in the NFC. Bow down before the boys(oops...got carried away)." Just throw in the fact that Romo has choked the past two postseasons, but this third time will be the charm.

NFC West

San Francisco 49ers - (4-12) "I know they added Mike Martz, but to me, they still are dealing with QB issues."

Seattle Seahawks - (11-5) "It's going to be rough on the Seahawks since Engram's out with that cracked shoulder, but hopefully Jones will add some depth to the running game."

St. Louis Rams - (2-14) "The way Steven Jackson has played for them, St. Louis really should give him a decent contract extension before they get a chance to slap a franchise tag on him."

Arizona Cardinals - (7-9) "I'm anxious to see how Leinart's going to handle himself this season."

AFC North

Pittsburgh Steelers - (10-6) "Last season, Pittsburgh had the #1 overall defense, but they were #17 on overall offense. I hope Tomlin has an answer for that this year."

Baltimore Ravens - (6-10) "I'm just glad somebody beat the Pats to start this year off right." If you're a Patriots fan, you might not want to say that line.

Cleveland Browns - (9-7) "The Browns really want to make it deep into the postseason now, but I think their schedule this season is going to be a little too tough for them."

Cincinnati Bengals - (4-12) "Utecht is looking pretty good, but I wonder how long it will take for #85 to open his mouth this year."

AFC South

Jacksonville Jaguars - (12-4) "I'm looking forward to seeing how far Garrard's going to carry this team this season especially since he's getting paid to do it now."

Houston Texans - (7-9) "I really want to see the Texans in the playoffs this year, but I don't see them getting past their tough schedule even though they picked up Chris Brown, Jacques Reeves, and Quinn Gray."

Tennessee Titans - (10-6) "The Titans are 2-0 in preseason, and I hope they can keep rolling like they are now come September."

Indianapolis Colts - (14-2) "I know the Colts are able to have good seasons even with all the injuries they go through, but I hope Manning comes back a.s.a.p.!"

AFC East

Buffalo Bills - (6-10) "Royal's been looking good, and I hope he can keep this up going into the regular season."

Miami Dolphins - (3-13) "They did lose Taylor, but at least their offense gained Pennington."

New England Patriots - (15-1) If you can't think of something to say about the Patriots, John Madden himself couldn't help you.

New York Jets - (10-6) "I really am tired of all the Favre talk(unless you're a true or a future bandwagon Jets fan), but with him around and the additions to their offensive line, I see the Jets hitting the playoffs."

AFC West

Oakland Raiders - (2-14) "Davis paid a lot of money for a good team, but he really should have let Walker quit because he won't be on the field mentally."

San Diego Chargers - (12-4) "Even though they lost Florence and Turner, San Diego will still be a perennial playoff team."

Denver Broncos - (8-8) "Brandon Marshall needs to get his act together or the Broncos can kiss a .500 season good bye."

Kansas City Chiefs - (3-13) "I know the Chiefs have a few players that might get better as they get more experience, but losing Allen was one of the worst mistakes of that franchise."

So there you have it, all 32 teams laid out and ready to go. Hope your team does well(unless they play the Cowboys) and now you can go enjoy a cool Bacardi Mojito(actually this is just an excuse for me to play this commercial.)