I get tired of hearing people talk about Natives, and their families, in a derogatory way so I thought I’d tell you how most of my friends and I grew up. What our family structure is really like. If you see that “Drunk Indian” downtown don’t assume we are all that way.

Grandmas rule with a gentle hand. They’re usually found sewing, knitting, crocheting or cooking. Babysitting while the parents are at work. If you’re a girl they teach you how to do these things too and about the importance of family and home.

Grandpas teach with stories. They’re usually found gardening, and tinkering, in the garage. They tell you about life and what’s expected of you as a family member and as a person. They usually make you work on the garden with them, teaching you about plants, or they make you clean up the garage while they talk to you. A lot of their generation was in WWII and they love to tell you stories of foreign lands, and/or what they did for the War Effort.

Grandparents usually take turns living with your parents, your Aunts, and Uncles, sometimes in their own homes and sometimes in yours. If you’re having a hard time in your life just think about the things they went through during the changing time (when natives were indoctrinated more into the Caucasian way of life). You are usually not considered/treated like an adult in the family until your grandparents die.

Mom is the boss at home and sometimes at work. Taking up the slack financially. They make the home run smoothly, my advice is to keep her happy. When you get older and move away from home they think they’re still the boss and try to tell you how to run your home and family. They forget how much they hated it when their Mother, and/or Mother in law, did that to them.. They aren’t really being mean or trying to be bossy. They usually want the best for you, it’s just that different generations have different expectations.

Dads are strict. Most kids are lucky if they can get more than an uhuh, no, or go ask your Mother, out of their Dad. When you’re young they’re your playmate, and teach you self defense, how to shoot a bow and arrow, how to ride a horse, how to dance, and play games. As you get older they become more distant. After working two jobs they can usually be found sleeping on their favorite chair in the living room. A lot of men from our parents generation were in Viet Nam and have issues, my advice is to be patient with them and avoid them when they’re angry.

Aunties whisper to each other alot, and giggle behind their hands, everything you do is funny to them, and the older you get the more entertained they seem to be by the things that you do. Except your number one Aunty (for lack of a better description) she’s more like a cross between your Mom and a big sister. She talks to you about anything and everything, boys, clothes, school. She is your confidant, and sometimes your liaison’ between you and your parents.

Uncles watch to make sure you stay in line, they teach you survival skills like hunting, fishing, and how to trap rabbits. They love to tell stories about hunting and some of their adventures in life. After work you can usually find them in a group working on an engine or an electronic device of some kind. They usually think their job is to teach you about everything. The first few times you have to butcher an animal they will stand behind you and make noises when you do something wrong. Boys have a number one Uncle (for lack of a better description) who is like a cross between their Dad, and a big brother, they’re usually the one that take a boy on his first hunt.

Cousins are just like your siblings only they don’t always live in the same house.

Brothers are taught to be little men and they think it’s their job to protect you. They keep the “bad boys’ and their guy friends away from you. They usually hunt, and trap, small game, and birds, they also fish to add to the family larder. As they get older they usually get stuck with the wood chopping whether they like it or not. If the Dad is away it's the brother's job to provide food for the family.

Sisters, now here it gets complicated because I was the big sister, so I had a lot of responsibilities growing up. These are just my experiences. I had to help take care of the younger kids, brothers, sisters and cousins. They usually thought I was bossy because I had to make sure the chores got done, and done right, before the parents got home. I tried to help the younger kids with their homework if I could. As I got older I took on more of the household responsibilities, cooking, babysitting, cleaning, helping with the sewing.