The value of Relationships’

‘Relationships are the glue that stick an organization together’ – John C Maxwell

As a Senior Manager in FTSE 100 business, a successful business leader and Business Coach, you would assume and think that I would be a master of this principle. Placing relationships 1^st and content second and choosing to be in the moment takes a daily resolve and determination that takes time.

In 2006 sick with septicemia I had the wonderful pleasure of lying in a hospital bed in Perth Scotland next to a man in his early seventies who taught me some lessons from relationship that inspired me to share his views and this short article.

Lying in a bed with septicemia having diced with death would seem to many people to be enough in itself, at no point was this an easy process but the gentleman I lay next to transformed my thinking in this chance encounter.

Dougie was a ghillie. A ghillie is a Scottish dialect term that refers to a man who acts as an attendant on a fishing / fly fishing or a hunting or deer stalking expedition. Found primarily in the highlands of Scotland on or near to the rivers such as the River Spey: source Wikipedia.

In the years gone by they were perceived to be someone who is hard, cold, focused and a native of the land in fact in the old times they were often attendant to the Chief of a clan. He was lying in his bed, seriously ill, catheter attached, dying of cancer. The list of the things that were wrong with him were exhausting, yet still he lay there. The doctors who I met mentioned that it is was his dogged determination that was the only reason he could still be alive. Most people of his age with conditions like this all died some 10 years earlier than Dougie had.

After two days in hospital on some serious medication myself I had begun to build some relationship with him and we begun to share stories. In the short time I have graced the earth I have had to deal with many challenges (M.E / Spinal surgery / septicemia to name a few), all which paled into insignificance in contrast with his circumstances.

There were two lessons he shared with me whilst he was there of which both have stood with me ever since he said:

“Dave if there is a way to define success in your life when you get to my stage there is only one way to do it”

1. “First ask yourself do your children know that you loved them and would they say that about you if you were gone”

2. “Secondly does you spouse know you love them above all else in this world”.

He explained further “success is all about relationship”.

When we reflect this in our lives and I mine, we can look at where we spend most of our time and money to see where we measure up to these superb statements.

In Business whether you work in Sales, HR, Account Management, IT, Any industry or sector, relationship is the art of success. It takes time, effort and commitment to develop meaningful relationship.

The best teams I built in my time, this is the one area I gave a huge part of my attention. In Scotland in the highlands a wise man once told me “you don’t know some one till you have been through a storm with them” .

When you spend a night in the middle of the cairngorms in a bothy where communication devices do not work, its just you and your friend, you need to know you can either rely on relationship or forms it.

I am sure you like me will continue to learn this lesson. Master this principle Relationship 1^st and content second.

If you want to know more visit our website www.stratagemplus.com or email me on dave.evans@stratagemplus.org would love to hear from you.

Published by Dave Evans 28/05/2009 Copyright 2009