The Woman Walking Lonely
66As dusk was approaching my heart heavy bloating
I saw a woman walking lonely in the park.
Her eyes pleaded only for love soothing lonely
As we both stood to only look upon our homely
Countenance bleached with despair so stark.
Washed she was plainly of pain so gamely
Behold the soul of a woman’s sorrow with bleak tomorrow
I took her hand gently in mine with sinking sun.
One upon one like shot from a gun
talk turned to kisses and gone was the woman’s sere sorrow.
Holding hands she told me with no bitterness hold me
I just need some comfort to get me through this night.
Woman of sadness soon turned to gladness
Ridding her manic memories of life’s madness
Her loss was so hallowed to hold in sight of the light.
Calmly we spoke of our fears of broken heart heavy
But lonely breached like levy from bitter waters of love.
Mossily she melted confessing her pelted heart
Of her choices made wrong like a lovesick lark
Tears dripped like rain from the horrible heaven above.
The light shone from the east of mercy we embraced.
The woman I held close to the sun’s rays as it lazily rose
Warming our souls last hope of bare thread rope
Gladness erased madness twin hearts on a new road.
Chance upon chance and dance upon dance to old woes.
Twenty years past woman walking lonely has me only
Love worked it’s magic that eon pity of yore.
DeeDee so elated so happily fated with man mated
Holding his darling dear to his heart love not abated
But grown even gated from loves passionate shore.
To DeeDee with love. ©CC Riter November 2, 2009
To DeeDee
PrintShare it! — Rate it: up down flag this hub
Comments
What a beautiful and touching poem!
oh Mr. Charles, this is so touching, you are really into poetry that touches the human soul, love story.......I am glad to always read your hubs...Maita
Very sweet and loving poem. You do touch the soul with your words.
I have to say wow man, this is great, I loved the melody of it. This is exactly the type of poetry I aspire to. Thank you Ralwus.
Tim, darlin' I have lived and it comes from within, though circumstances maybe similar it happened and I was lucky to have remembered this old song as an accompaniment. I do hate poetry so well, it tears me up at times as it is just there and I must write it. thanks so much.
Glad to have touched your heart Georgia thanks
Maita, what good is poetry that does not touch a heart or two and create images strong in the psyche of the mind? 'tis a pleasure for me to write and share, it's just what I do. I am glad to have entertained you and lighten your soul for a wee bit. thanks darlin'
Queen, yer so easy to please. LOL thanks so much and I do hope you find true love some day.
Wes, I am so glad you popped in. Thanks son, you are learning and it will come. LOL and you who were not into poetry, look at you now. thanks son and be safe.
I see you don't miss the opportunities , ralwus !
This poetry has a melancholic music in it. I loved reading it !
I guess if poetry is in your soul it is inevitable to let it out.
The rhyming and the richness of the words are amazing ralwus! It's an amazing poem... Thanks.
Hi tantrum, no I never did. LOL It is rather sadly musical suppose. thank you hun. I love you.
Yes Wes, and it does, it is seeping from yours as well.
Hi ya shamel, I certainly thank you for the praise thanks for enjoying it.
CC now this is just so very romantic! This is a wonderful lesson for me in structure and rhyme. You are just a romantic, CC. Sending you over warm hugs and kisses!
Thank you Charles, for sharing yet another gem. Dee Dee will be pleased, I'm sure :D
Well AIdy, I don't want to be a teacher of writing. This could have been done better, but I'm pleased with it. I have been studying and writing this stuff sine I was in third grade. Thank you darlin' and I will return those strawberry sentiments. I am a romantic, alway was and will remain so.
Dohn, do ya think? Actually she loves it. Thanks now and peace. Charlie
am I singing or what? Well, me? I like! hehehe. Beautiful ralwus! Miss you and love you CC.
Hey CC, This is, in a word, beautiful. Your Dee Dee must be quite a gal to have inspired this. One other thing... Man, can you write! About anything!
Awww, sniff..every girl should be so lucky..its like watching an old romance movie and thinking about prince charming.
nicely written. Enjoyed this very much
Why Sheena, sing away darlin'. So good to see you as always and thanks hun. Love you too xox
Hi Linda, thanks for you compliment. She is darlin'. Gee, you always make me smile. There are things I shall not write about here. thanks again hugs CC
LOL is it really Justine? This little poem of mine mostly is so true too. It wasn't a park, it was a bar, just like the song. Now ya know. We did go out to a special park like place and talked almost all night under full Moon, 3 days later we hooked up and have been together ever since. Thanks for reading. Hugs darlin'.
Thank you too poetlorraine for reading my poem. Hugs CC
I figured it was real, but had not guessed a bar. I like that even better. I adore learning other's "stories".
Thanks again Justine. Fun stuff huh?
I love these stories and poems dedicated to your wife. :)
Why thank you so much Ivorwen. It's my love ya know? Bless now with peace, CC
your love poems are topnotch! nothing beats writing from the heart, eh C.? thanks for always being generous with your gift of words :D
I just can't help myself Cris. My heart is just full of them you see? Thanks for the compliments and visiting a good friend. Love CC
Not a good idea to read a poem like that when you're already teary eyed and emotional? Or maybe, no better time for it either! To me the best work is the one which combines both sadness and joy in it, and this poem does that beautifully! Intensely moving....with an almost quaint charm that lulls you into silence. keep writing my friend...x
MOW sorry I made you teary eyed twice now. Dint mean too. LOL Thank you so much for reading it with such tender care. hugs CC xo
Alright Ralwus I will critique this as promised. First of all it's a very lovely poem in all honesty, but could use a few adjustments.
First, you want to talk in a more indirect tone. There is something in poems which we call 'poetic imagery'; which is presenting a particular combination of words to appeal to one or many of the senses. This is how a poet connects or communicates with the reader. For example: the shade of an autumn-born rose — when you read those words, you imagine the actual color of a golden rose (visual) and perhaps think about the rose's smell (scent) and feel (touch). Most of your poems appeal only towards the visual poetic images or they deal with emotions; what you want to work on more is creating an imagery for the reader to enjoy.
Second, you want use much more adjectives to describe your different phrases. Adjectives help in creating a better poetic image. When you write poetry, stop for a moment and review it; try to picture everything through your words. Once you do this, think about the different things going along and write your thoughts about it. This will make finding words a very natural thing; sometimes rhythms will come and sometimes they won't (never force them).
For anymore further advice feel free to read my article about understanding poetic imagery: http://writing-poetry.suite101.com/article.cfm/und
Anyway Ralwus, pleasure reading your poem and I do hope I did help you. If you ever have anymore questions or want anymore critique from me, please feel free to ask without hesitation.
OK Arthur, you make it all so simple to understand and it is why I asked your opinion, Education is the key. I will take these tips to hand and I thank you son for them and for taking the time to fulfill my request. thanks again, CC
I will follow the link provided.
I wouldn't change a thing, CC. This obviously was written straight from the heart and I can't help but think the poem would lose its raw beauty if it was worried or thought on too much. Just my opinion, I don't mean to offend or critique one's critiquing, but wanted to let you know I thought this was beautifully done. Thank you for sharing.
oh charles how you move me . . chills up and down my spine . . im serious. . just beautiful . .
Beautiful verse, Charlie!
wow your really good writer this was really good and aww im happy for you : ) x
Azur, I am not changing one word of it. My fans are my most important critics and have the last word. Thank you so much for the support. ThanksCC
Hi wave, well who dropped the pop sickle down back of yer neck? Gee thanks, I do so love you. LOL CC
Hi Gigi! I do thank you dear. Make me a punkin' pie sometime. will ya? No, make it pecan.
CC how are ya darlin'? Why thank you ever so darlin'. See ya now and you know where. CC
I'm *adoring* the lyricism and rhyme scheme! Yours sounds like SUCH a rich love, flavored by ALL of life's spices. Very uplifting to read this.
CC this is a beautiful poem. Sometimes we only need someone to just listen, to hear what you have to say. Your work here translates so beautifully. I do love the romantic in you CC. -hugs- take care.
Pleasing... simply beautiful!!
Hello Stan, so nice to meet you. Thank you so much for the compliment and for commenting too.
Hello AIdy my sweet backward girl. I do thank you darlin'. hugs and kisses now. Charlie
Why hello Suzanne, it's so nice to meet you and thanks so much for dropping by and commenting. CC my what lovely hair you have.
Very good stuff... May those memories of first love last a lifetime for the both of you.
Hello PalmerLarry, I'm glad to meet you. I think they shall and thanks for dropping by and commenting.
Oooo, dis is so ver ver nice. ah, oh to have such boutiful memories x
Oooo, I like how you said that sexy woman. Hello and thanks.
that was beautiful. you always have the right song too...
Why thanks Cosette. hugs to ya darlin'
Such a sweet peek into the secret places of your heart, the many facets of your love, memoirs and desires... keep your readers returning to beg for more, dear Charlie, and still you never cease the flow of your kind and loving words, thank you for that dear man...
Good morning Deborah. Up late aren't you? Yer just too precious you are. Thanks so much. DD and all women are worthy.
Thank you Ralwus, for your acknowledgement...worthiness of your kindnesses and love? Perhaps not but still desired and appreciated. You sir, are so loved.
Woo! It's my DeeDee! Aren't you lovely now? And so loved too. I thank you and you are so loved also. xox
Ooooo ralwus, I have been the woman walking lonely. No more, no more but I felt this. It's good to be free and as always, not being a poet, I have to read such things several times. I read it well, thankyou as always :)
Thank you FD, one doesn't need to be a poet to understand and like poetry. As long as you read it and liked it, that's fine. I am glad you are free and do hope you no longer walk lonely. xox
What more can i say CC?...everything's been said. I was singing this poem in my shower.
-Tears dripped like rain from the horrible heaven above.-
How have you been poet?
Well Goldi, you just added a whole new dimension to it sweetheart. Yes you did. I thank you for it too. I liked that line when I composed it thanks. I am well enough and just busy helping my DeeDee with some things. Just got home and having a coffee break. Howah you? Love now and flutterby kisses darlin'.
C, this is amazing. Totally poetic :D Me LIKE BIG TIME :D LOVELY TOUCH at the end. THe poem is amazing and so expressive so is the picture :D
Bravo ~ :D:D:D:D:D:DD:DD::DD:
Hi Uriel. So good to see ya darlin'. Gee thanks honey.
I was drawn to the title and the words were mystical and beautiful! I always come and read but I have been lazy to comment this was wonderful as always and hey what is witht he pic? Well I like that too! :)
Well hi Julianna, so good to see you as always. Thanks for the kind words and you get a better understanding of my avatar soon enough. Thanks darling.
Beautiful!
thank you brandonfan.
This has the makings a great song Rawlus!
Hi Ms. Ya think so? I thank you for that. CC
Another awesome poem my friend. You can really touch someones soul.
Why thank you JJ. I'm glad to see you. I'm just an old foolish romantic I reckon. thanks darlin'. CC Xox
tim-tim says:
4 weeks ago
Wow! What a good writer! Thanks for sharing,Charles!