I have had the craziest two weeks of my life and the craziest six months of my life. I do not have a regular 9-5 job; yet, I am continuously working my a$$ off. Where do I even begin???

My Son

I love my son. He is my Angel. But he talks my ear off. Watching him jump around and play army men and race cars is draining. Listening to him talk is draining. My mind is already moving at 300mph about 500 other things. Each time he talks I have to stop and make sure he has my eye contact so he knows I am listening. And if I do not he gets upset. It is just me. So I am pretty much what he gets. Although, he does call his grandparents a lot; it still is not enough. Children require a lot of attention. I feel like I have two kids in one. I did not choose to be a single mom and I did not not choose to be one. Of course, we could all change decisions we made in the past. However, I am a strong believer in everything happens for a reason through the work of God. This is not a hub to complain. I am just venting my way through this craziness I have endured the last few months. In addition, to the talking there is the constant cleaning. How in the world does one child make such a mess in such a small amount of time. It is amazing. You would think that I do not clean or I do not make him clean if you were to walk into my house right now. It is driving me crazy. Get one area together and the next room is in shambles less than 1/2 an hour later. Clone trooper here, race care there. PlayStation games. DVDs. Pencils. Shoes. Paper.

Then there is the issue with school. I have to meet with his teacher next week because he does not like being teased and he does not like one of his teachers. Now this is nothing new. But it does add to sanity. I want the best for my child like any other good parent does.

The majority are a complete pain in the butt. My son's father comes and goes as he pleases. Must be nice! He says one thing and does another. The guy I was dating for over year turned out to be a liar. People can be so rude and probably do not even realize it. They either say something annoying or do something annoying. For example, they think they are helping but they are not. Please, do not tell ME how to live MY life. Until you have walked in my shoes you can only offer so much advice. Which I do not really have a problem with advice but you cannot sit there and tell me what is and is not right or wrong when it is about my situation. Especially, if you know I am already in a sour mood. (As I type this my son yells, 'Mom', and my brain feels like, 'Ah, stop yelling.")

So I'm talking to a couple of people the last few days and I realized how no one appreciates who I am. I am me. I am not going to change for anyone. Why? Because I do not have to. Secondly, I am too old to change because you want me to. Thirdly, how about you take the time to listen and not talk. Or how about you take the time to offer help when I ask. Lastly, throw your two cents in when it is necessary and not out the damn blue. I am tired of people kicking me while I am down-- people who I thought I could trust or could turn to.

Heartless

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Home

I have a home. I understand that the upkeep that is involved. That is fine. I am completely fine with it. If you decide something is not to your liking, then you do not have to come around. I am only one person. I can only do things one at a time; yet, I am doing more. Just because something is not done when you think it should be does not mean I am not working on it. Owning a home is a huge responsibility, especially, for one person. People fail to realize it is just me. Yes, I have been successful for a person in my situation at my age. However, your priorities are not my priorities. You might think that I need to take care of something right now but, you know what, I am already taking care of like 5 other things that I feel are more important. Like talking to my son about school, about his day, about his friends, about our life. That is more important to me than ordering something or getting something fixed- that by the way, should not be broken, anyway, bc I am in a new home. Also, I have neighbors. Sometimes I like to take the time out of my day to get some humanly contact and get to know the people that live around me.

Work

I work from home now since I was laid off in November, which I am completely fine with. I have a lot of ideas and things I would like to accomplish. I am establishing my writing in poetry. I read A LOT about business related topics regarding the things I enjoy doing. I am working on building a social network for minority single moms. My brain is constantly thinking ahead. Some people move faster and other's move slower. Nothing wrong with either of those. I use to work somewhere that dang near took the life out of me, so I am trying to recover from it. But I really do not have time to rest, mentally, because I have to support my household. There may be only two of us but it is a lot of work. I think a lot of people just say they understand or pretend to understand the life of a single mom because it sounds good. They really have no idea. A mother with a husband is juggling a bunch of things, too. Believe it or not, having a husband in the household is HUGE. Even if they do not work. At least you can get up late at night and run to the store get your child medicine without having to wake them up. At least you can go grab a gallon of milk. I, on the other hand, cannot do those things as easily. I am not looking for pity. Believe me I could care a lick on whether you feel sorry or not. That is not important to me. What is important is being the best mom I can be, but I am not a Super Mom. I do not have magical powers. I cannot be at two places at once. I cannot do everything at once. And I do not claim to know everything. What I do know is that as a single mom I deserve the same respect as anyone else.

School

I'm a Communications major. I have one more year left. I am taking five classes this semester. Four are mini courses and I have one full course. I have been consistently going to school for the last three years. When I got back into the groove of things I started with one class per semester on Sundays. That's how determined I am. And now I have five classes. That's how motivated and how goal-oriented I am. Education is important to me. And I am dealing with it, in addition, to everything else.

I Know...

I know a lot of ya'll are like, "Dang, she needs to chill or she needs a vacation." You are right I do need a vacation. That is my point I do not get a vacation! It is like this, if something bad happened to you or maybe a close friend/family member is sick you cannot take a vacation and, actually, relax. It is so sad because I recently did one of those friend surveys and so many single mom's answered when was the last time they cried. So many responses were recently. Okay, I'm done with my rant. You see I did not touch the subject of bills. Lol. I will not even go there!

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