‘The Art of Engagement’

Engaging our people, relationships, colleagues, children or friends can seem like an art, a challenge in some cases an enigma. Yet with a little effort, thought and individual touch like me we can all learn to master it- it just takes a little time and commitment.

‘The meaning of any communication is the response you get’ - Richard Bandler

Engagement is demonstrable when someone listens to you completely rapt, focused and is in rapport with you. Sometimes this can be obvious and you can see it, other times it can be sensed by your intuition and in some cases you can hear from the words or sounds a person makes when you communicate with them.

At home my children continue to show me the areas I have to develop this even more. I remember on one occasion I was working in the garden, I asked one of out children to empty the bins, a task I foolishly classed as simple in my mind.

Now in our home, we have a rubbish system that we are quite proud of, three quality bins attached to a door or labeled for recycling and in addition three large white containers all painted with black chalk paint with headings such as glass, plastic and paper. The process works.

Whilst I worked in the garden, I assumed that my instruction was understood and the task would be completed correctly, something else for me to tick off the list for the day. Later that day I returned to the house and to my dismay the job was not done right.

I had only asked for our bins to be emptied. In my head I assumed (error) that it was clear that I was highlighting all of the bins, recycled the lot. It was that wonderful tool of reflection and hindsight that illustrated to me the error I had made. Sounds simple doesn’t it?

Have you ever done this in business? Have you ever considered that your instruction matched with your intention or outcome? Did you say your instruction or brief in a way that suited the person receiving the instructions?

We often get caught up in tasks, to master the art of engagement we have to go way beyond the task and place relationship 1^st in our interactions with our people.

Engagement starts simply by deciding to be in the moment with anyone you engage, if you can reduce the interference in your own mind, that voice that talks to you in your head and concentrate on the person you are engaging you will be astonished at the simple change this will make.

We were working with a client once when a young manager commented on the simple change he had made back at work from the coaching we had delivered as a team. You see prior to the coaching he believed that he had two ears on the side of his head so he could listen whilst working. When he decided to stop and listen to his team 1^st time round he released lots of time back into his work life that was there all the time.

If you want to know more visit our website www.stratagemplus.com or email me on dave.evans@stratagemplus.org would love to hear from you.

Published by Dave Evans 28/05/2009 Copyright 2009