Many people know that changing techniques in bed will help make for a more interesting sex life. Relationship experts, like Dr. Ruth, opened this area up and encouraged couples to talk about what takes place behind closed doors. However, one piece of advice receives little notice from couples. This piece makes the difference between okay and wow!

What is this grand piece of wisdom? The answer is in steps: talk, listen, compromise and update as needed. We all know we should talk about turn - offs and turn- ons. Listening is also highly advised and compromise may resolve issues. This final part is the essence of the primary piece of advice.

Updating what you and your partner do in the bedroom, and out of it, will not be the same each year of your relationship. While this sounds simple, think about the changes most relationships endure. Aging is the most profound one. We change physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as we age. What we enjoyed as a younger person, perhaps newly married, could turn us off at a more advanced age.

It is not uncommon for women to have different needs after the birth of a baby. Pregnancy changes our bodies and some positions no longer feel comfortable. Men's bodies change as well, and both sexes see a change in the intensity of desire. By following the advice I described, couples can continue to enjoy a healthy intimate relationship.

Views also change over time. A younger person may feel external pleasure items are acceptable. This same person may not feel the same way five or ten years later. The reverse of this is also a possibility. A friend from my teenage years confessed he does not view intimacy with the same code of strict thinking, as he did when younger; his parents now have less control over him and his views.

Outside of the bedroom, we may experience life altering events and change our views. Our needs could change, and intimacy could decrese if our partner fails to notice the impact of events. These include: death of a loved one, divorce, cancer, return to school, and traumatic accidents. The effects of different events could lead us to viewing intimacy in more conservative ways. or we may feel like, "throwing caution to the wind."

Talk about what needs you and your partner have; thus, reducing the chance for negative communication issues and a lackluster intimacy. Get to know your partner all over again and set a date for re-evaluating your needs. Be open to compromise and listen, without judgement. This is the last reaction we want when talking about our needs.

Keep in mind, no one ever stays the same throughout life. Change is powerful and we can use it for the good of others. The healthiest marriages and relationships understand the gift of change and how it impacts the heart-pounding, blazing joy of true intimacy. Finally, remember to always respect your partner and expect the same in return.

For more information about healthy, intimate relationships:

www.lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlerb 6 Steps to a sexy massage

www.lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articlecosmo The Many Moods of Love

www.relationship.lifetips.com

5 ideas to try for maintaining a healthy intimacy:

1. Date like you are not married!
2. Try new ideas, including enrolling in a couples massage class!
3. Cook foods you know your partner associates with a wow!
4. You and your partner make a wish list for intimacy and each of you select one wish per week to try!
5. Spread out the action by talking on day one and add a new stage each day. Take up to several days or a week!