The perfect ratio

I have a hat that I wear sometimes. It's a knit hat, and it's off-white, or maybe sweet cream if you're looking for something more specific. My best friend gave it to me, or rather, I co-opted it as I often do with clothing items that appeal to me. I wear the hat with my hair inside, a strategy designed to shout "I'm gay!" as loudly as possible, because if I don't shout it, you might not guess. The truth is, I'm not one-hundred percent gay. I'm closer to seventy-five. My old roomate likes to call the hat my "75:25" hat. She says it's because from the sides and the back I look gay, but from the front I just look cute. I like to think that it's actually because this hat epitomizes my gay to straight ratio. I take twenty-five percent straight because I've dated men and I'm okay with that. But seventy-five percent of the time, I'd prefer to be with a woman. It's useful also to describe what men are lacking in; they've got seventy-five percent of what I need in a partner (the emotional bit, I suppose), but they don't have the other twenty-five (the anatomy). (Maybe that's stretching it a little. I'm not sure if anatomy can possibly count for only twenty-five percent.) Anyway, out here in the Real World, I find myself searching for other ways to look gay, especially considering that it is now summer. Here is a list that I've come up with:

- Baggy jeans. Pair 'em with whatever you've got, but these are a must-have for the gal in search of gals.

- "I (heart) Lesbians" t-shirt. I found one at a funky t-shirt shop, and it's really been useful.

- Short hair. This one I have yet to go for, although if it gets hot enough (or I get desperate enough), I might. I'm kind of into the faux-hawk thing these days.

- Caps. The kind you wear on your head.

- Visible tatoos. This one might be specific to my area, but I've taken to wearing cropped pants to show off the ones on my ankle, and sleeveless shirts for my arms.

This list will likely grow as the summer wears on and my hat gets buried deeper and deeper in the closet. Check back later for more updates, and send some suggestions my way.