The struggle over body language for people with Asperger's Syndrome

Difficulty in reading and expressing body language and non-verbal cues is one of the symptom of AS. The importance of effective reading of body language  is highlighted below:

• Body language involves hand gestures, overall carrying of one's person, but also facial expressions. Even eye contact is governed by body language! Not having the tools needed to properly read or convey the right kind of body language and response makes simple conversations challenging.
• Body language becomes a point of conflict for those who cannot really understand it. This leads to insecurity in social situations. Eventually, it may cause a person with Asperger's Syndrome to isolate from social setting, simply because of the fear that they may be seen inept.
• There is a real chance that a person with Asperger's Syndrome will display the wrong form of body language at the wrong time. This might lead to laughing at the wrong time, using an inappropriate gesture and not combining a statement with the proper form of eye contact. This makes interactions sometimes awkward and embarrassing.
• The failure to show proper body language has led to some Asperger's Syndrome persons to be considered cold and lacking in empathy. Although to a certain degree that is one symptom of the condition, it is not necessarily the condition that causes this perceived lack of empathy.  

Clearly, the problem with body language has led to many difficulties for the people with AS. Although the level of skills differs greatly from one person with AS to another, there is a good number of them who see this as perhaps the single greatest challenge in their lives. They are often try using new ways of communicating but fail in doing so simply because they do not understand the nonverbal clues of those with whom they are conversing. In the same way, those with whom they are interacting also do not understand they are speaking to someone not able to respond adequately to their clues.  

This situation is crucial particularly in the adolescence when teenagers struggle with issues about “fitting in”. Some male teens with AS take on a cool and unemotional attitude as a coping mechanism, at the same time affecting an exterior that is actually considered desirable by adolescents. This strategy of course does not work in the long run. Before long the individual with Asperger's Syndrome is painfully aware their condition makes fitting in more difficult for them than their peers. Parents and caregivers are urged to help the youngster with their body language.

The needs of people with AS change as they grow older. By the time they reach adolescence, children with AS would have learned how to communicate with people, however difficult still. For many “aspies”, as teens with AS sometimes refer to  themselves, it is frustrating to fit into social circles. Aspies still have trouble "reading" others, and some are shy or even intimidated to approach their peers for fear of being seen as different. Often, aspies are immature for their age, too trusting or naive, which can all lead to being bullied or teased. Sometimes the teen with AS will become "stuck" in childhood likes or hobbies such as Legos instead of advancing with the rest of the age group into teenage concerns such as dating. The lack of street knowledge and dating behaviors also makes Aspies vulnerable to sexual harassment and even date rape.

Your teen may experience some of the saddest and most difficult years of his or her life during the years from twelve to seventeen as they face intense peer pressure and strive to overcome being different. "Aspies" are in danger of becoming more socially isolated during these years because of their craving for friendship on one hand, and inadequate social skills on the other.  Being bullied in school can result to their intense feeling of rejection and isolation. School also becomes more demanding academically and socially during these years. The symptoms of AS can make Aspies appear as if they are rude, odd, aloof, or loners.
 
On the other hand, aspies are also very honest and sticklers for following rules, which makes them model school "citizens". They also do not usually follow fads or conventional thinking. They are rather creative thinkers and follow their own original interests or goals, which makes popular with kids of the same mind.
 
Aspies in their teens may be drawn to the drug and sex scene out of frustration and their overwhelming need to fit in. The middle school and high school years are filled with change and non-routine ways such as different teachers for each subject, changing classrooms for each subject, many distractions, high noise levels, thus the possibility of over stimulation.