Whether it's a small fib told to protect someone's feelings or an outright distortion of the truth made up to cover a wrong, a lie is a lie is a lie. During my growing up, parents impressed upon us the severity of lying by rubbing chilli against our lips whenever we were caught doing so.

When my wife and I became parents, we chose not to mete out such harsh punishment but would instead sit our children down to find out why they had lied. We would also try to explain to them why lying is wrong and punish them with a time-out or less time on the computer and TV.

OOPS, I DID IT AGAIN

As parents, we often have to teach by example. If we don't want our children to lie, then we have to be careful not to tell a lie ourselves. But this can be a tough thing to do and I've found myself succumbing on more than one occasion.

"WE CAN'T AFFORD IT" LIES

When my children used to pester me to buy them yet another toy; I would tell them we didn't have the money for it, even if we did.

THE BOGEYMAN LIE

I also used to threaten my boys that the karangguni (the rag and hone) man would take them away in his gunnysack if they were to stay out late in the evenings to play with their friends from around the neighbourhood.

THE FINISH-YOUR-DINNER LIE

As my elder daughter was a fussy eater, she often didn't finish her meals. To get her to clean up her plate, I would tell her what my mother used to tell me - that she would end up marrying someone with a pockmarked face if she left any food on her plate.

THE SANTA CLAUS LIE

When the kids were still young enough to believe in Santa Claus, I went to great lengths to keep this myth alive by leaving them presents under the Christmas tree. Then one day, my elder daughter asked: ''Santa Claus is so fat. How does he squeeze in through our window grilles?"

Without batting an eyelid, I replied: "That's the magic of Christmas! Wherever you are, Santa Claus will bring you your presents as long as you have been good!"

WHY WE LIE

Parents should recognise that their children lie for different reasons. Some for example, go through a phase where they have imaginary friends and will lie about the things that their imaginary friend has told them to do. Typically, this is not a big cause for concern unless the lying taken to the extreme.

Then there are times when children lie to get your attention. But if you don't make a big deal out of it and they don't get any satisfaction from the lie, they will stop doing.

Children also don't want to be punished for their action so they will lie about what really happened in order to hide their mistakes. Let your child know that lying is unacceptable and that you would much rather hear the truth. Tell them if they own up, you will reconsider punishing them.

It's important to find out the real reasons behind a lie and to let your child know that you're aware that he is lying. While punishments may differ, parents should make it a point to reprimand their child and warn them that if they lie again, they can expect to be punished.