Christmas cracker jokes are simply not funny.

One Christmas joke is like this:

a: Knock Knock...

b: Who's there?

a: Who who...

b: Who who who?

a: Merry Christmas!

a and b: Hahahahaha!

What do you call a penguin in the Sahara desert? Lost.

What do you call a woman who stands between two goal posts? Annette

On which side do chickens have most feathers? On the outside.

What do you call a train loaded with toffee? A chew chew train.

What's furry and minty? A polo bear.

What's big, grey and wear glass slippers? Cinderelephant.

Why are ghosts so bad at lying? You can see right through them.

How do snails keep their shells shiny? They use snail varnish.

What must you know to be an auctioneer? Lots.

Did you hear about the man who bought a paper shop? It blew away.

What kind of tree do fingers grow on? A palm tree.

What is the vampire's favourite song? Fangs for the memory.