Are monogamous relationships normal? Not necessarily. They probably seem normal, given the way society has been set up for X number of years. Let's look at a hypothetical "happy" American church-going family. Bob and Cindy have been happily married for 20 years. They have two kids, Joe and Betty-Ann, and a golden retriever named Sparky.

BUT....Bob is secretly cheating on Cindy through an online website that advocates affairs (and these do exist...check out http://www.ashleymadison.com/, with the slogan "Life is Short. Have an Affair.") Betty-Ann, a 17-year old model, has a long distance relationship that she ignores while snorting cocaine with her man on the side, Enrique Juan-Guillermo de la Toro (what a great name).

While this is all hypothetical, lots of cheating and lots of lying happens. I don't think it's a good thing. But if you're gonna cheat...why get married? I don't get it. There's no law saying people have to get married. Maybe we aren't naturally monogamous, and since scientists like comparing humans to other species, let's take a look at the bonobos.

If you haven't heard about them, bonobos are a type of chimpanzee causing all the rage lately. Found in the Democratic Republic of Congo and genetically quite similar to humans, bonobos engage in a range of sexual activities with all sorts of other bonobos. They do everything from making out to foreplay to just plain ol' sex. Bonobos participate in these sexual activities to resolve conflict, greet each other, and reconcile with each other after a fight. Maybe because it is enjoyable, also...

Bonobos do not form permanent relationships. Hmm. Humans are not bonobos, clearly, but there is no law saying humans must form permanent relationships. And maybe we'd be better off if they didn't. Maybe people would be more honest that way, maybe not. Some people like monogamy, and that's great for them. But some people don't, and they shouldn't pretend they do because it could hurt the people that do (lots of do's and don't's there).

So what's wrong with being single and non-committal? Absolutely nothing. You can go out at night, see an attractive specimen of the opposite sex, and feel free to mack. You can leave the options open indefinitely, always be dreaming about that perfect match that you don't expect to (or want to) find. When you're single you can change your mind, and it doesn't cause a load of emotional turmoil; It causes nothing. You can take off to the other side of the planet and you don't have to talk to your significant other about "what it means for us" for weeks on end. Phew. It's not about sticking to favorites, but trying different flavors.

But I'm not saying monogamous relationships don't have their pro's. Some people like the emotional and physical intimacy that comes out of relationship. They like being able to call someone on their bad days, have a nice cuddle, and feel the warm-fuzzies. We all like the warm-fuzzies. It's a high level of committment that essentially forms a family of two, whether or not those two ever get married. You become integrated into each other's lives and form a sort of team-unit.

And some people like team sports better than individual sports. We don't all like the same thing though.

This is why I don't think monogamy is for everyone, or even most people. I don't think we should feel forced to be in them, or feel lonely if we aren't in one. Someone once told me that most loneliness is self-inflicted, anyways. It's probably because society told us pairs are good. But really, we are born alone and we die alone (wow, that sounds ominous). Not to say that we don't have lots of love in our lives, but that we are all individuals; some of whom choose to pair up, and others who...don't.