From the Hubbit Hemisphere: The War of the Fans
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In the vast expanse of Middle Hublands, there’s a war brewing – the War of the Fans.
The Outsider Hubbits are all set to march into the Forum Fortress and the Insiders don’t like it one blooming bit!
The Characters:
The Insiders
Ol’ Murky Know-All .... doesn’t really care as long as they don’t step on his toes
Dark Vader and his sidekick, Amphibian Poo .... hate fans and would nail them to a tree if they could
SuperSneer and his trusty steed Snootshanks .... ignore them and hope they’ll fade away into the hub sunset
The rest of the NoseTurn’dUps ..... wait in the FF alleys to pick a fight
The Outsiders
The remaining Hubbits are a happy lot.
The Weapons:
The Insiders
Sabres of Sarcasm
Arrows of Anger
Cutting Edge Contempt
Caustic Cannons
The Outsiders
Oodles of LOLs that morph into ROFLs
:Ds aplenty
A few :Ps thrown in
Enter Dark Vader from the left,
Amphibian Poo from the right
DV:
If in this land I live in I could be
Alone without the vast majority
Of sycophantic fans that made me puke
Why do they follow me the royal Duke
Of Darkness With my piercing gaze I might
Just annihilate them all within my sight
Oh that the world could only stay fan-free
What a delight my Hubland it would be
AP:
Dark thoughts, dark world they do delight me so
Would that these silly fans to Purgatory go
Why can’t they keep hubbing with no wish
To be a cloying fan of every fish
That swims the River Hub and as it flows
Collecting hundreds of these fans and more
Oh Dark One, let us both devise a plan
To blast to smithereens this awful clan
Of simpering, smiling….ooh I hate those grins
Pox take their souls for all their smarmy sins
DV:
Loyal Amphibian you are so wise
Yes let us now a perfect plan devise
To rid this Hubland of what ails it so
The fan ‘flu virus ’tis our dreaded foe
This crazy epidemic we must halt
Or the multiplier effect us will haunt
Forever and a day can you e’en think
How awful if that fan ship we don’t sink
They’ll change the world, they will let in the light
And ruin it! Amphibian Poo, c’mon, let’s FIGHT!
(Hubbits can be heard singing their theme song)
It's raining fans, Hallelujah!
It's raining fans…every specimen!
Tall, blonde, dark and lean
Rough and tough and strong and mean
It's raining fans, Hallelujah! - It's raining fans, Amen!
It's raining fans, Hallelujah! - It's raining fans!
Messenger:
War has now been declared you crazy freaks
You people of a thousand fans who squeak
‘Great hub’ so you can raise your score past 90
So you can preen, you awful little smarties
The ones from the Forum Fortress they do swear
Of fans they’ll rid great Hubland’s atmosphere
And vow to bring the dark of twilight in
Back to fanless days, how it should have been.
Ol’ Murky heard singing:
I don’t want them,
I don’t need them
Can’t see why I have to tolerate them
Out damn’d fan can’t you see
I want to be left alone with me
(to be contd…..)
Scene II ►
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Comments
Oh Badhubbit your majesty, I bow down before you and your words of infinite wisdom. I feel I already know you so well, we must have a stellar cellular connection. Loved it, excellent and oh, so very, very clever!
Fantastic hub! Love it. So true to what happens in the forums
I'll read your hub and comment,
but no fan shall I become.
For mortally I do fear the wrath
Of him they call the Dark One.
Oh MM, don't be such a wimp!
Badhubbit isn't a pimp
Dark One is just in a disguise
He really has sexy eyes
All I know is amphibian poo sounds real cool. I hope they come out with an action figure for him!
Yeah Toady, they might give him a golden belt! Hey, do you think it could be you?
No, he uses big words.
Who then?
I do declare.
A middle-aged hubber
losing his hair?
lol
No one will guess the mystery author. :)
Well, he's writing about Toad, Mark, Sufi and Darkside I think, from those names.
I think Amphibian Poo is Frog Droppings...
Yeah MM, you could be right there!
Woo hoo......now isn't that nice!
badhubbit #2009: setting a cat among the pigeons *grin*
I hope they wage war on tksensai first.
I'll even join in for that!
Yeah, we need to give him one of Blonde's enemas she makes in her kitchen!
Did someone mention a cat?
FP
I thought I read something like Slinky Seer - but now I'm not so sure :D
Chris, now you've really set the cat among the pigeons!! :P
Oh they've been at it since time immemorial - they must be on redbull or something :D
Koh nee chee Whaaaaa Interesting collection of fans attached to this hub!!
Help I'm morphing .......
morphing into a " ROFL "
Oh golly, this should be good! LOL, I just love a good row!
And this is just Act I Scene I ..... so don't go away :D
Think I am gonna enjoy this lol
"I hope they wage war on tksensai first."
Count me in :)
I'm laughing my yed off. Really. This is very funny. Bloody brilliant.
I'm quite sure though - that Amphibian Poo is not really Dark Vaders cup o' tea ;)
Very clever Bad Hubbit. I am an instant fan who is looking forward to the second act. Here is my smiley just for you, it comes from an outsider too. :-)
Clever stuff. Instant appreciator.
Way to go woo hooo
lol - you are a naughty one Bad Hubbit - but I always love your stuff ;)
Love the graphics...
*takes a bow* (big smile)
*takes another bow* (smile grows into a grin)
*and another one for good measure* (grin split wide open)
As long as the seam in your pants can withhold all the *bowing* and doesn't split open as wide as your grin, you're good to go!
I was moved by your fans video.. where's my tissue? You have so many pressures.. So moving!!
LOL...ROFL...I mean stupid fans...I don't know--either way< i'm with Toad--I want the action figure. It could be like a water squirter where when you squeeze its middle, you shoot out....uh, well, you know.
PS...Why don't you comment me back???....waaa
Janetta - why would you want a squeezable water squirter? Just hold water and your mouth and spit.
Cheap, effective and sure to gain a great reaction :)
@frogdropping ROFL :D LOLLOLLOL I fanned you too. One more rainfan on yer head. I think it's Mark, it must be Mark cuz I can smell his cooking, Oh no, that's Amphibian Poo, sorry.
Brilliant! Loved it! More, more!
Fans! I've got fans! *does a fan dance*
Hey frog--people tend to get aggravated when i spit at them. If it came from a cute little amphibian toy...they might be less likely to punch me.
I'm not gonna get anywhere near Janetta if she's gonna be practicing! Maybe a line of badhubbits to sit atop my computer?
Janetta - I know. Which is why spitting water is a far more effective water pistol.
so long as you can run, you're good.
A line of badhubbits? Isn't one bad enough :D
*shakes hands with Badhubbit while going round in a circle* both sing along ....
"A ring, a ring o' roses
HP threads are full of moses
Hush! hush! hush! hush!
BadH's hubs'l make 'em all trumbling down!*
Let's do it again! :D ...
"A ring, a ring o' roses ............."
Did you mean Methuselah, dah-ling? :D
Actually I was referring to Moses plural as in Moses' , but I think I forgot to put apostophe. B/w Methuselahs would have sounded better! :D
A ring, a ring o' roses
HP threads are full of Methuselahs
....................................
Yeah I like that one better dah-ling! :D
s-naz-zy cat, ain't we? :D
You are a clever little hubbit but my wisdom just glides over what you just said. Took me three days to decipher. Is that a nickname you've given me little hubbit? *thinks yonder*
Fans, them fans, them.....
Cris A says:
5 months ago
BadHubbit
Bad hubber, bad bad hubber!
All good is, well, good but sometimes bad is better! So you've been visiting the Forums on the sly, haven't you? And it is very evident on this hub as it appears you've had all the characters and their habits down pat. But here's a challenge, if you're really bad as you say you are, name names! LOL But I guess there's no need for that. Really.
Welcome to HubPages and you got yourself your first fan! :D