You are in love - again! There is a life for you yet and the future looks bright, but somewhere in the back of your head you are worried that the second time will not end any better then the first.

Don't worry, you are not alone. Thousands of people have those worries on a daily basis. We are bombarded with statistics that condemn our happiness from the very beginning and you wonder if your heart can take another fall.

So what can you do to beat the odds and make this time the final time?

The answer is simple - think ahead!

Do you or your intented have children from a prior relationship?

If you answered yes to this question, you need to be aware that you are not only marrying each other, but the family as well. Are you willing to become the Step-Parent in the new family? Who has what rights and responsibilities when it comes to the children? Where will the kids be spending most of their Times? Will there be step-siblings as well? How do you feel about the kids or how does your bride or groom feel about yours? Are you prepared to treat all the Children equally? How do the Children feel about the event?

A fact is that if kids are unhappy they will do anything they can think of to break a relationship apart. Remember that they have already lost a very important thing to them once, a Family and are more and likely weary of loosing another. Trust does not come that easy after you have been hurt the first time.

Do you have the same religious or spiritural believes?

This never seems important until the first unwarranted argument or you get older. Worst yet, if kids are involved. Which believe system will you raise the kids in? Morals are often influenced by religious / spiritual believes. The wedding it-self and the ceremony may be affected by religious differences. In same cases you can not have the blessing of the Church for a second marriage or you can not have a ceremony unless you are of the same denomination.

Who will handle the Bills and how are they divided?

Before money becomes a problem in the marriage, you may wish to discuss money issues ahead of time. Will you have one person responsible for paying the bills or do you share that responsibility? How will you divide the monetary obligations?

Is it your money, his or her money or our money?

How will you handle the income that comes into the household? Will you keep separate accounts or do you throw your money in one pot? Will you each be responsible for portions of the living expanses and then keep your individual money that is over, or do you each receive a prior agreed upon allowance from a combined income?

Do you share interest and are you on the same intellectual level?

Being physically attracted to each other is not enough to make it work for the rest of your life. You both will eventually change physically and get older. Do you have enough share interests and are you intellectually enough compatible to have something to talk about or do together as you enter those senior years.

Are you sexually compatible?

I won't go to deep into this; it is pretty obvious what I am talking about here. Make sure you are familiar with your Partners likes, needs and tendencies before you get into a situation you may not be able to get out later.

Is there Drug or Alcohol Abuse in the past?

This is one of the most important things you have to know! I don't care how hard it is to hear or how embarrassed you may be, your future life partner has a right to know. Drug and Alcohol abuse can destroy not only your life but the life of those around you. If there is a history of that type of abuse, you have to go into the relationship with the understanding that there is a great chance of relapse.

Why has the prior relationship ended?

No matter what the reason, you will have to keep in mind that there is past hurts. If you are marrying a person that is widowed, you will have to understand that he or she will always remain in love with their belated and often you will not be able to live up to that memory. You will have to learn to not be jealous of the love you can not have.

If it is a divorce, you have a right to know what has caused the divorce. You may want to ask more people then just your indented. This may seem like a betrayal to you, but I think of it as a security measure. If there was violence on your betrothed part you could be in serious danger, if there was infidelity you may have to think if this will happen to you.

How will family and friends impact your relationship?

Not everyone in your circle of friends and family will be friendly to your new spouse. Are you going to let go of them, set down ground rules or start out new somewhere else. How will you handle negative feedback from those you have surrounded your-self with in the past?

Discuss family dynamics in advance!

Each relationship runs different. Will you be equal Partners or will you have one Head of the household? Who will have the say over what? Is yours a traditional family dynamic or an alternative one?

A final thought in closing.

Everyone wants to think of Marriage preparations, but honest conversations seem to rank down the list. Before you go and order the cake, take time and answer some of these questions with openness. Love is important, but if you are not compatible it can soon turn to hate.