There's No Hallmark Card For These Holidays

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By paperphoenix


You have been warned.
You have been warned.

For the record, I have never been a big fan of what have derisively been called 'Hallmark Holidays'.  You know what I mean; days like Sweetest Day, Boss's Day, Secretary's Day--holidays that seem to exist for no other purpose than to plump up the greeting card industry's slumping sales during the downtime between major holidays.

Sure, these holidays were started with the best of intentions.  After all, everyone likes to be appreciated, and if there's an actual day on the calendar that is devoted to appreciating you, where's the harm in that?

Truth to tell, there is no harm in it.  It's just exasperating to peruse the card aisle and come to the stark realization that Hallmark seems to be making up holidays willy-nilly and people are willing to buy into these newly-fabricated (and highly lucrative) holidays.

Since I've always been something of a contrary little cuss, I prefer to champion holidays where the likelihood of a major card corporation horning in on it are slim to none.  But since holidays like these are only as fun as there are participants for the day, I'm going to run off a short list of days of the year that Hallmark will have nothing to do with.


Velociraptor Awareness Day

Thanks to the popularity of webcomic xkcd, humankind has been gifted with a new day of awareness: Velociraptor Awareness Day.

xkcd creator Randall Munroe has had a long-running joke throughout his webcomic of the dangers of velociraptors (particularly if they happen to have access to a hoverboard.)  Considering the cult status of his webcomic, it was only a matter of time before his devoted fans took his curious phobia of a long-extinct dinosaur and devoted an entire day out of the year towards educating people of said threat.

Velociraptor Awareness Day is 17 April 2009, and you can find out more details on its very own Facebook page.


Free Hugs

Along the lines of Valentine's Day and Sweetest Day in that it's all about sharing the love, except that instead of being solely geared around a person (or people) you're stuck on, Free Hugs is open to everyone.

The concept behind the day is that if you see a person holding up a sign that says "Free Hugs", you can march up to them and get a no-strings-attached, no-ulterior-motive, friendly hug. It's kind of like that Dave Matthews Band video, "Everyday," gone worldwide.

Free Hugs considers itself more of a campaign than a holiday, making a point of not tieing itself down to any particular date/month/season. In 2009, it was on 14 February, giving that more famous February holiday a run for its money.

Talk Like A Pirate Day

What kind of post about non-Hallmark holidays would this be if I didn't mention the most famous of them all? Considering that I kicked this whole article off with an illustration alluding to that very day, that would just be plain silly of me.

Yes, that's right--I'm talking about Talk Like A Pirate Day. For those who haven't experienced it, every 19 September you are allowed to get in touch with your inner pirate and set them loose on a unsuspecting world. Whether you've been a long-time pirate aficionado or your piratical experience is solely limited to The Pirates of the Caribbean franchise, all are welcome on TLAP Day.

Some people really get into it, decking themselves out in pirate gear and swigging homemade grog or rum, but I find it to be much more amusing to wear my normal clothes. It's a lot more entertaining to spring pirate-speak on unsuspecting people when you look like just an average person, so don't be afraid to call someone a scurvy scalawag when you're rocking the sweats. Trust me: it'll be worth it.

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So there you have it; three holidays that Hallmark will most likely have nothing to do with. And in case anyone is wondering why I didn't talk about Day of the Ninja, that's because I'm more of a pirate person than a ninja.  If you've ever seen how clumsy I am in real life, you'd totally understand.

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