There's No Such Thing As Soul Mates (No, Soul Mates Aren't Real)
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Some people believe that there are such things as soul mates. Souls trapped in the bodies of the living who seek out one another to live a life of love until they die. I like the idea, but I also like the idea of the Easter Bunny. How awesome would that be if there was a bunny dedicated to giving everyone chocolate eggs every year?
If we really had soul mates, people would search for them until they found them. I mean seriously. Your soul mate. The person that completes you. How could you spend your time fornicating with women and men of loose morals when your cosmic twin is out there just waiting for you?
And why, if you had a soul mate, would they so often be incarnated hundreds of miles from where you live, but handily as the right gender, ethnicity and with an acceptable belief system your incarnation happens to find attractive?
Interesting that souls can't work out
how to get incarnated together in some sort of close proximity, but
still manage to darn near always pick bodies desirable to their soul
mate's body. It's pretty rare that a hot young guy or gal comes home
with a racist, bigoted seventy year old homeless man or woman with
severe PSTD and body odor and claims that they found their soul mate.
If we had soul mates, we wouldn't be so damn shallow. We wouldn't have a hard time with gay marriage. We wouldn't care about the creed or the color or the name or the fact that they gambled all their money away on seahorse races, or that their favorite meal was fluffy kitten stew. We'd love them and be with them no matter how awful and unattractive they were. But this isn't how we behave.
Of course, some people do believe in soul mates and they either:
A) Pick someone and eventually marry them happily declaring that they have found 'the one' (only to have a 50/50 chance of later proclaiming that he or she was actually the one who stole their youth and left them sleeping in a car,) or
B) Spend a long time being chaste and pure.
In essence, experience does not back up the soul mate theory one bit. It's an incredibly romantic thing to say about someone or to someone or to think about someone, but then you break up with them and you have to rationalize it one of three ways.
Either:
A) you just broke up with your soul mate for all eternity – in which case, boy, did you mess up,
or
B) You have more than one soul mate (a rationalization so handy as to be a cop out,)
or
C) There's no such things as soul mates, just souls and it is up to you to become mates with those souls.
So What Is There, If Not Soul Mates?
I believe that people with similar needs and or views who find each other physically attractive occasionally bump in to one another and as long as one of them doesn't say something monumentally stupid in the first hour or so of knowing one another, and they've both been single long enough to start craving the companionship of a mate, there is a fairly decent chance that they'll form a relationship.
Once they form a relationship (a heterosexual one, because that's all I really know about,) then they'll muddle along getting to know one another and bonding over shared experiences, growing closer together until they have become so much a part of one another's lives that for one to live without the other would be heartbreaking. This version takes a lot more work and doesn't have the blessing of the cosmos, but I think it's a great deal more real.
This Will Make You Happy, Must Watch!
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Comments
Wow, I was not sure that I would see your point. I mean its nice to believe that there is someone out there for everyone. But you might be right on this one!
:) thanks for the comments triplet mom and katyzzz... I think love can be very special and precious without attaching pseudo spiritual mumbo jumbo to it
Thanks Hope, I did enjoy that video. So very romantic in a different kind of way.
The rationalization of multiple soul mates is not only convenient for explaining how we move on after finding our soul mate. It's also fantastic at explaining polygamy. ;)
I really enjoyed this Hope, as I'm with you...Love Stinks! Just kidding :D Soul mates are for the meek, I guess. My best advice is to just find someone that can put up with your BS and that you can put up with their's! Neither should ever try to change that person. Love 'em as they are! Thanks for this. Many aren't willing to admit such a TRUTH as this :)
Maybe soulmate is too strong of a word...how about kindred spirit? I got that one from Anne of Green Gables and have loved the words together and the meaning ever since reading it years ago.
I don't remember the kindred spirits part, but I do remember Anne of Green Gables. I read all those books as a child, they were awesome!
You make some excellent points, but forgive me, I can't agree with your conclusion.
Maybe the problem is people seeking "soulmates", instead of soul mates. If we all have souls, we all have the potential, at least, for having a mate for that soul. Just as we can have life mates, but not lifemates, perhaps (though I'm stretched when it comes to the question of whether we can have "playmates" and not just play mates:))...
I differ here, because I think I have and have found my own soul mate - see hub: The Already and the Not Yet, and it's way too weird to be mere coincidence or hyped up fantasy - I've had that before, and wouldn't mess around with it again.
I don't want to take anything for granted...any gift in life is worth being glad to have - a soul mate can only be better than Santa Claus, not worse - at least that's what I think.
Eulsen, I'm certainly not going to tell you that you didn't find your soul mate, just someone you happened to be hyper compatible with, because that would be a dickish thing to do :)
We should all take happiness where we find it and I could always be wrong ;)
Acutally, it was said best by Stephen Stills with CSN&Y in 1970 - "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with"
This is one facet of you that I like, the brutal honesty. Not too many people stand up and say that we're flawed and need to deal with it, preferring instead to try to believe the "self esteem building" psychobabble that has been beat into peoples' heads for the past 20 years or so.
So here goes:
Everyone is created in the same way, but not necessarily with the same gifts.
It is not always good enough to try hard and lose. Go practice some more and work harder, then keep trying.
At some point you have to realize that there are people better than you at almost everything and you have to learn to be happy functioning within the limits of your own capabilities.
Second place trophies suck.
Losing does not build character.
Strike any chords with anyone you know?
Thanks Hope,
Mikki















katyzzz says:
3 months ago
Well if you had not convinced me, the song would certainly have. The backing music was nice.