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They Never Said It, Funny Misquotes and Fabrications

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By sschilke


Quotes can be funny, wise, intelligent or moronic.  In a world where everyone has something to say, quotes represent snapshots of pop culture and reveal both the wise and the foolish.  As entertaining as it is to read quotes, it is much more fun to play with quotes and mischaracterize, fictionalize and otherwise make light of all those unlucky enough to be blessed with visibility and celebrity.   So in the grand tradition of the NY Times, LA times, CNN, Fox and National Enquirer, it's time to really screw around and play fast and loose with the facts.   If any morsel of truth makes emerges from the wreckage, remember, it's just coincidence.

A List of Misquotes, Fabrications and Outright Lies

"Don't ask what your country can do for you, but rather ask what you can do to screw your country." George W. Bush

"Don't worry, be happy." Barack Obama, State of the Union Address 2/24/2009

"It takes a village to raise my children." Nadya Suleman, the Octomom

"It's what is in your heart that counts." Dick Cheney

"He who dies with the most toys wins." Santa Claus

"Joaquin Phoenix would have done a better job at the Oscars." David Letterman assessing Hugh Jackman's performance as Master of Ceremony.

"Always tell the truth, it will set you free." Alex Rodriquez's advice for Barry Bonds.

"Training for the Olympics improved my muscle strength, endurance and lung capacity. Skills that I was easily able to transfer to other pursuits." Michael Phelps

"Practice what you preach. I don't practice." Alan Iverson

"Size doesn't matter." Paris Hilton talks about her version of the Stimulus Plan.

"A rich man's joke is always funny." Bernie Madoff trying to make light of his financial misdeeds.

"We have changed our course 360 degrees since we were here last time." CEO of GM, Rick Wagoner, as he lobbies Congress for more bailout dollars.

"George Bush is the greatest President of the 21st century." Rush Limbaugh 6/6/2006.

"If you build it they will come." Sarah Palin's comments regarding Bridge to Nowhere before McCain won Republican nomination

"Everyone should pay their fair share of taxes." Tom Daschle

"Give a politician enough Twitter and he will hang himself." Sschilke

Feel Free to Add Your Own Spin

If you have a particularly good misquote or fabrication, join the fun. List it below in the comment section for all to enjoy.

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Cris A profile image

Cris A  says:
9 months ago

I beg to disagree, Paris probably said what was supposedly quoted of her! LOL thanks for sharing, a little twist on anything could be outright fun! :D

EYEAM4ANARCHY profile image

EYEAM4ANARCHY  says:
9 months ago

"Let's try to write something original" - overheard at a television network pitch session

William F. Torpey profile image

William F. Torpey  says:
3 months ago

Heard on HubPages: I never said that. I've been misquoted!

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