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Feel Better About Being Single

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By Hope Alexander


One of the harder things about being single is seeing happy couples together. You know, the ones who are still in the first bloom of love, for whom the whole world is bright and cheery. They're all over one another in a mass of groping tongues and hands, and it just makes you sick.

Here are some thoughts that might make you feel just that little bit better:

50% of all marriages end in divorce. So if one of them has an engagement or wedding ring on, there's an excellent chance that that thing will end up being tossed out a window, or pawned to pay the lawyers in a few months to a few year's time.

50% of men believe that it is funny to pass gas in bed and then hold their partner's head under the covers. The other 50% believe that it is not only funny, but mandatory.

80% of women will develop a severe nagging habit after one year in a relationship. This condition is incurable, and only gets worse with time.

Some statistics state that between 50% and 70% of married men will cheat on their wives at some point in the marriage.

Between 40% and 60% of women will cheat on their husbands at some point during their marriage. (If you notice, there's a lower percentage of women cheating within the bounds of marriage. Don't feel too smug ladies, there's only less married cheating women because women tend to be the desperate 'other woman' hanging on hopefully to an already married man, and hoping that he'll leave his wife and kids to make a life with her.)

Interestingly enough, even if the man does divorce, he more often times than not does not remarry the woman he was cheating on his wife with. Even if he does marry the woman he was cheating on his first wife with, there is a 75% chance that they will end up on the Dr Phil show being told "if he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you" by some guy with a mustache, a southern drawl, and no practicing license.

(Disclaimer: Some of the statistics here are 'true' ie, I read them somewhere else on the Internet, others I just made up. I'd take them all with a grain of salt. Like that crazy fortune teller you keep wasting your hard earned dineros on, this is all for entertainment purposes. )

Comments

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LatexLeah profile image

LatexLeah  says:
2 years ago

Love the graphic.

Bowen Li  says:
2 years ago

Wow. This is really interesting

Lady CC  says:
7 months ago

That was very funny, it mad my day.

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