Thoughts from a 30 something on life

After reading a blog from John Mayer (my favorite artist) I am inspired to write as well...

First this is what he wrote:

To view it on his website http://www.johnmayer.com/blog

FROM THE HEART....

I need to write this.

I've been traveling alone in Japan for the better part of three weeks now, and It's been so remarkable an experience for me that I can't book a ticket home yet. I haven't spoken very much out loud these days, but I've been thinking to myself in what feels like surround sound. I can see so many things clearly, and feel so connected to myself and the world around me that I need to share the perspective with you.

I'm already aware that when I sing, say or write anything, 50 percent of the response will be in support of it and the other 50 will want to discount it. This blog, though, is directed to 100 percent of people reading it. If my blog truly does have any cultural effect, then it should be used for more than just pictures of sneakers and funny youtube videos. (If you don't think my blog has any effect, than you can't by definition be reading this right now and therefore don't have to respond to it in any way. Isn't that tidy?)

What I'm about to write isn't about fame or success or celebrity or the media. That's my business.

This is about us all.

This is about a level of self consciousness so high in my generation, that it's actually toxic.

This is about the girl in her bedroom who poses in front of the camera she's awkwardly holding in her outstretched hand. She'll take a hundred photos until coming up with one she's happy with, which inevitably looks nothing like her, and after she's done poring over images of herself, will post one on her myspace page and then write something like " I don't give a f*ck what you think about me."

This is about the person trying out for American Idol, who while going off about how confident they are that they were born ready to sing in front of the world, are trembling so badly they can hardly breathe.

This is about me, the guy who walks through a throng of photographers into a restaurant like he's Paul Newman, but who leaves a "reject" pile of clothes in his closet so high that his cleaning lady can't figure out how one man can step into so many pairs of pants in a week.

This is about a young guy who maintains a celebrity blog that subsists on tearing other people down but who has wrestled with a lifelong battle for acceptance as a gay man.

This is about us all. Every one of us. Who all seem to know deep down that it's incredibly hard to be alive and interact with the world around us but will try and cover it up at any cost. For as badass and unaffected as we try to come off, we're all just one sentence away from being brought to the edge of tears, if only it was worded right. And I don't want to act immune to that anymore. I took the biggest detour from myself over the past year, since I decided that I wasn't going to care about what people thought about me. I got to the point where I had so much padding on that, sure, I couldn't feel the negativity, but that's because I couldn't feel much of anything. And I think I'm done with that.

I'm not the first person to admit we're all self conscious, Kanye was. But what I want to do is to shed a little light on why we're all in the same boat, no matter the shape of the life we lead: because every one of us were told since birth that we were special. We were spoken to by name through a television. We were promised we could be anything that we wanted to be, if only we believed it and then, faster than we saw coming, we were set loose into the world to shake hands with the millions of other people who were told the exact same thing.

And really? Really? It turns out we're just not all that special, when you break it down. Beautifully unspectacular, actually. And that truth is going to catch up with us whether we want to run from it or not. The paparazzo following me to the gym ain't gonna be Herb Ritts and the guy he's following ain't gonna be Bob Dylan. It's just a matter of how old you are once you embrace that fact. And for me, 30 sounds about right.

What now, then? I can only really say for myself: Enjoy who I am, the talents and the liabilities. Stop acting careless. In fact, care more. Be vulnerable but stay away from where it hurts. Read. See more shows. Of any kind. Rock shows, art shows, boat shows. Create more art. Wear hoodies to dinner. Carry a notebook and hand it to people when they passionately recommend something and ask them to write it down for me.

Root for others.

Give more and expect the same in return, but over time.

Act nervous when I'm nervous, puzzled when I don't know what the hell to do, and smile when it all goes my way. And never in any other order than that.

And when it's all over, whether at the end of this fabulous career or of this life, which I hope takes place at the same time, I should look back and say that I had it good and I made the most of it while I was able. And so should you.

I'm going quiet now.

John

My Response:

Coming from a thirty-something I am amazed at his raw stripped down thoughts. So rarely do you hear something so clear, concise and raw from one of us Gen-Xers.

We are all so worried about "how something sounds" or "what we really mean is..." Nothing we ever say seems to come out right.

I don't know if you feel like I do but we are so concerned today about getting our own point across we take so little time to listen to other people's points. We live in a diverse crazy world.

We in the United States live in a bubble that we think the rest of the world marvels at. When the truth comes out that there are people, nations and entire groups of people we are amazed. We don't understand it. But it isn't about what they think of us. It isn't what you think about you. It isn't even about US. We are a collective a people who has to share the one and only earth God gave us. It is about ALL of US.

It is about our enemies, our frenemies, friends, and perfect strangers alike. All of us walk around thinking we are special, that is ok. But what really concerns me is that we spend so much time walking around thinking we are better than other people. We are really the all the same... Muslims, Jews, Christians, Buddhists, Mormons alike moms, dads, kids, grandmas, grandpas, man and woman.

We all want to be loved, treated with kindness and respect and valued. Even Hitler, Ahmadinejad, Dick Cheney, Barak Obama, John Mayer, Ryan Seacrest, the contestants in American Idol, Me and You. Challenge me on that one. Go ahead.

Hey, I know it is a lot easier to say than it is to do, but are you even trying anymore? It is easy to be selfish. It is easy to lie, when it is harder to tell the truth. It is easier to not to tell someone they are destroying their life with drugs. even though it is the kind thing to do. It is easier to charge someone more -because just so you know... you can than be honest and make a fair and reasonable profit still.

Even as I am writing this my kids made a mess after I had just finished cleaning. It was easier to yell at them than to understand... We all fail.

In John's blog he also said we all try so hard to be a certain way or act a certain way, what I think it boils down to is we think that is the way the world wants us to be. When all of us are simply emulating what we see on TV, in movies, music and media. When reality strikes however, THAT is not reality. Be you.

One hot spot for me is the way Americans and Europeans are so afraid of Muslims. I always ask, "Have you ever known someone who is Muslim?"

Usually the answer is no... I don't mean have you met someone who is Muslim I mean do you KNOW someone. I know we have all met someone who is Muslim, if you haven't: go to a Gas station in my neighborhood. LOL

The Muslims I have known in my lifetime are the same as you and me. Trying to get along in life, make a buck, not disappoint too many people and just be happy, loved, treated with kindness and respect and valued. They just happen to worship a god called Allah but overall they are still people.

Stop caring how you sound, look and how you are perceived... perceive other people first. Who cares what they think. Care about them and what they need.

Who cares what label they carry, what do they need and how can you help? America was founded by men and women with a common vision for the collective good. We are so busy trying to find someone to fill the oval office that shares our opinions. We want friends that agree with us, bosses who let us do what we want, no one to submit to no one disagreeing with us. Yet we disagree with them, we believe that they are against US, and the world is an ebb and flow of disapproval, disagreement and selfishness and we wonder why.

Make the most of YOUR life. Decide today to not be a victim and to get on with your life no matter what happens. Help others and build upon what is good and right and help take apart what is not.

Support your others, they need you.

SMILE at that woman that looks sad.

Remember those who are forgotten.

CARE, CARE deeply just not only about your self-conscious self.

I wish I could go silent now like John, but I have 4 kids to raise, and a house full of people on the way.

Thank you for listening to my ramblings... again.