Marriage can be a wonderful journey for a couple.  However, that journey can have many hurdles to overcome.  This article addresses those obstacles and how a couple can navigate beyond them.

There are three essential subjects that every relationship must hurdle.  They are in no particular order, in-laws, sex and money.  If you’re contemplating getting married or if you are married, you and your partner should be discussing these potential roadblocks.  Your understanding of what they are and how they can affect your marriage may make or break your relationship.

The first obstacle that many in a relationship will encounter is the in-laws.  For those who are currently married, think back to your wedding day.  There you are standing at the altar with your new spouse; everyone is smiling, and it seems that the mood is positive.   The wedding photographer is running around, busy taking photos when he says, “Now let’s get some shots with the parents.”  You begin to realize that the alter your standing on just got crowded.  Having your in-laws in your wedding photos will be symbolic throughout your married life. 

If you are lucky, you’re in-laws are helpful to you and your spouse without being intrusive in your marriage.  They become a part of your family that you can count on.  They are the relatives that are there to help support you and your spouse.  They can be there for you in those difficult times during a marriage.  However, if not, your in-laws become that boil on your butt that you can’t quite reach.  They will be in your life constantly, whether you want them or not, and with more advice than you can stand.  Your in-laws will be wondering how you survived marriage without them.

The second one is sex.  That laughing you hear is God.  He loves a good joke, and the joke is on us.  He not only created our bodies’ differently but He created the male and female minds to work differently as well.  Sometimes, in what seems like opposite directions. 

Experience has taught us that there are two key elements in a sexual relationship.  First, you and your partner must take a lesson from grade school.   Back then you were taught to give to others first.  This is an amazing lesson to learn not only as a child, but also for adults.  You must learn to give sexually to your partner.  Not only will your spouse appreciate it, they will in turn reciprocate to you.  The second is patience.  Not all of us are on the same level when it comes to sex.  Your partner may not have your experience and can be intimidated.  Have patience and not rush it.  You married them for a life time, enjoy the journey with them.

The last one is money.  Yes, it is the root of all evil and it can be the undoing of a healthy relationship.  Money to men tends to be an emotional decision.  Men are usually a prideful gender and they strive for status.  Men feel that it is their duty to take care of their families.  Men need money, and therefore are psychologically attached to it.  Women tend to be more analytical when it comes to money.  It is a means to an end for them.  Money doesn’t necessarily create happiness, but it gets them to a place where they can be happy. 

Talk to each other about your money concerns.  Agree to create a budget and try to stay with it.  Working on ways to stay financial healthy and still enjoy your marriage is a tricky tightrope. Understanding that you both have a vested interest in your financial future is important. 

When becoming a couple many of us looked at the institution of marriage with rose colored glasses and didn’t see the warning signs. These three hurdles, though difficult, can be easily stepped over while in a relationship.  Take your time and discuss these issues earnestly with your spouse.  The time you invest in discussing them will be well worth it.