Through The Eyes Of A Child
79
I never had the chance to be,
The way a child should be,
Running through the school yard,
With a heart so young and free.
Instead I sat so quietly,
No-one could understand,
Why I held my head so sadly,
While they danced round hand in hand.
I never wore the frilly frocks,
The other girls did wear,
But I loved the satin ribbon,
Momma tied up in my hair.
They begged for me to join their games,
As they looked at me confused,
They walked away so sadly,
When I repeatedly refused.
One day the wind did change its path,
Through the tall gum trees green and vast,
The girls that once did love me,
Silently went past.
And even when the wind was gone,
As Winter passed away,
I sat there in seclusion,
As not one eye did look my way.
I tried to hide the tears,
That splashed upon my cheeks,
I could not let them see the truth,
That I was painfully weak.
As cruel words stung my spirit,
Even then I could not speak,
Instead I turned and walked away,
"The Grade Two Blue-eyed Freak ".
And when the school bell broke at three,
Elation filled the air,
I would look unto the wired fence,
And hope that Dad weren't there.
For when I saw my Mommas face,
My little legs did race,
While my Momma stood there rigidly,
With a deep frown upon her face.
I made my Momma angry,
For most everything I did,
It seemed she failed to realize,
I was just a little kid.
So I kept my secrets deep inside,
For I did not want her mad,
To tell her "Daddy hurts me",
How could I say that bout my Dad?.
At night while holding Teddy,
I would kneel beside me bed,
"God what I really want for Xmas,
Is for you to send me a best friend".
Then Spring turned into Summer,
As all inside did break,
I punched a boy with all my might,
And smacked him in the face.
The boy had killed my Teddy,
He ripped him right in two,
The only friend I ever had,
It ripped my heart right through.
Something changed inside me,
From that very day,
With a resentment for my parents,
And an inability to pray.
A woman now I have become,
Who now has found her voice ,
To speak of the horrendous crimes,
Where children have no choice.
I whisper to my God,
With tears down my face,
"Have mercy on our children,
For our future human race".
Please understand this is a horrendous crime, child abuse is not acceptable, not human, not your fault in anyway or form. Do not be afraid to speak out. Dedicated to all the dear victims who have been affected by this kind of abuse. Remember there is hope, there is love, there is healing, always.!! May the sunlight once again begin to shine in your life. You are beautiful.
© Debbie Murray 2009.
- After The Storm There Is Sunlight by Deb Murarenko (Book) in Poetry
After The Storm There Is Sunlight by Deb Murarenko (Book) in Poetry : This book is all about hope and change, through the tremendous power of love and concern. It questions our morals and values, inspires our dreams and calms our spirit.
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Loved it, BP. Had I been there, I would've punched someone in the face for you (if that's what you want). I'm not a violent person, but if it meant protecting someone I truly care for, I'd make an exception. Thank you for sharing this poem with me.
Oh Deb - so heartbreaking - what's wonderful is that you still have a heart overflowing with love. (((hugs)))
Hi Feline thanks so much, for being one of the first to come and read. Glad you liked it. xo
Hi Dohn oh you truly are a gem. Thanks a million for your beautiful comments I really do appreciate them, xo
Aww Shalini thanks sooo much I guess it is like that song, "This little heart of mine, I'm going to let it shine". I just love that song it gets me every-time. This world goes so fast, whatever happens to us, I suppose we put that side away as the bad, and determined to make the next bit of it as great as we can be...(hugs)
So powerful and vivid, Blondepoet. Thanks so much for writing it.
And thank-you so much Tom for coming great to see you as always (hugs)
Such a moving hub. There is nothing more beautiful than a child’s innocence. I hope you have gotten to know your inner child. Held her. She must be a bute. Shine on BP, shine on.
Oh thanks Paper Moon I totally agree, kids are just so darn beautiful, especially at that real early age where they just believe in fairytales, Santa, ohh they are gorgeous. Thanks so much. Must pop over there and see if your shop is open yet lol. (hugs)
BP this was incredible. Your poetry rocks and it makes me sad to know what u have been through. Thanks for standing up for our kids.
dori
How! Blondpoetess, you write plenty good. You deserve heap big award. How!
Hi Fortunerep I am thrilled you came and had a squizz, I have to stipulate though this is half me putting myself into this child from my own experiences which I shared here in my own video http://hubpages.com/hub/Raped-But-Living. It just clicked to me that this may be what some people are thinking. Yes I had a very sad childhood, and with the rape, anorexia, suicide, it was truly a nightmare.
It is a pleasure to stand up for the kids, I wish I could have like 50 adopted kids, but I don't think with the way I have all these mishaps all the time I would be a real bonus for the kids.I do entertain them though and make them laugh, and when they laugh, I love double, just a big kid myself (hugs)
How QS you little spunk!! I thank you from BP's huge heart, we share wig-wam later ya??? What country are you from QS, can you get U Tube there? If you can you too must watch my life story on http://hubpages.com/hub/Raped-But-Living that I made,it is pretty inspiring. (Well I would love to think)
Beautiful.
Children are pure, and know nothing but what they desire and what desires them.
Innocence is forever, when one can obtain a static-free existence. ;)
Immaculate poem about a terrible injustice. I loved it.
blonde you have hit right on the nail the pain you say is so true, but the hearts beat free now but still hold the pain in a small pocket in the heart , but we live free and do what we want to now, so streatch your wings and fly going higher and higher. well done
Why is this so sad, yet so true???
So very true Ixxy, they live in this brightly coloured world, yes their innocence is like pure gold :) xo
Oh thanks so much Wesley that means a lot to me. Have a great day!!!
Yes that is so true as although we can move forward, and heal from so many things, there is always that memory inside. xox
Oh UH, thank heavens there is fantastic moments in our lives to help dry up all the sad ones xoxo
Awesome as always. You have such a way with words and this poem is every much needed to awaken many to the deep need for a child's security and love.
Thank-you so much ATP, your support has been so wonderful. I watch this little video, with tears in my eyes, as I think of the inhumane monsters that hurt so many of these little angels, that are so defenceless, so vunerable. I just become overcome by such deep sadness. It is the worst crime imaginable. :) :)
A very good poem. I wish that we didn't have to write material on this terrible crime. How anyone could harm a little child baffles me.
Thank you for keeping the world aware Debbie.
Thank you Deb! One of your best works. Love ya!
Dear Blondepoet,
That to me was one of the most beatiful and moving pieces I have ever read. You are a true inspiration artists that has ever come along . Please don't stop writting you have a God Given Gift my love.
Sincerely ThunderCattle
BP, Your poem is heartbreaking, but so beautifully written. I could hardly read it through the tears. And the photos of all the babies was wonderful. Thanks for this tenderhearted look into a serious and appalling crime against children
Thanks so much dear Froggy. I sincerely hope never to come face to face with such a person, I feel so strongly, I may end up behind bars myself. x0
Gidday Candie, damn it has been so long since we spoke, I am still working on gettng my Skype working but I will. I really miss talking to you and seeing your contagious smile. Thanks Candie. xo
Aww thankyou so much ThunderCattle, coming from a guy like you it means a lot. I hope to catch up this week,I am still battling with my PC too, it flicks on, it flicks off, drives me crazy amidst the wild long week that passed. I will never stop writing Thunder, I promise, there is far too much inside me. x0
Aww AK, that means a lot. I know what you are saying, when I even look at it myself and watch that beautiful little video, tears just fall,it stirs up memories of pain as a child myself. However I am so convicted to speak for these angels. Thankyou your comments mean a lot to me, xo
Beautiful poem, BP. As has been said much already, deeply moving. Words that can bring comfort of not being alone for those with similar memories.
Thanks so much Jodi your friendship means a lot to me. Battered abused children it kills me inside :) (hugs)
I just read this and watched the video you made on the other hub. Wow... Jodi said it well. I'm really glad they never broke your spirit and that you're now able to help others that have had similar experiences but are unable to find a way to deal with it. Thumbs up.
Thank-you so much Marco for taking time out to read this and watch my video it means a lot.You are so right so many things have been taken from me, but they will take my spirit. It has made me a very strong person. xox
You are the bomb, Debs, the best poet on this site!
Aww Cindy that is a huge compliment and coming from you I am just overwhelmed. Thank-you sooo much (hugs) x0x
Your poetry is frigging awesome. How are your book sales doing?
It is a bit of a mix-up it hasn't been distributed yet as Lulu mixed up a bit and said I still have to order a copy to approve it although I did, so that part is at a standstill. But it has actually sold some more on lulu so I am thrilled.
a very moving poem
A heartbreaking poem told by a courageous poet!
xoxo
Great poem you are right child abuse is unacceptable,great courage!!
Thankyou so much Maggs I do appreciate you coming by. (hugs)
Aww thanks Raven I do try to be. Great to see you (hugs) xo
Thank-you too William for taking the time out to read it. Yes it is totally unacceptable. (hugs)
So very touching, my lovely friend. You manage to draw the reader in and join you on your journey of remembrance!
Thank-you so much Christoph that means the world to me. Love ya buddy. xox
It's a lovely and sad poem. Child abuse is inhumane and beastial. Thanks for this cry...
From my heart to yours dear, this is a thrilling piece of craftsmanship on your part. Sad is the underlying subject, but beautiful in the telling and so moving. You have come so far my dear friend and it is wonderful of you to share what you have for us. You rock dear one, really you do. yer the bee's knees. LOL I do so love ya, hugs CC btw, kudos to Cindy who guided me here to this gem
Thankyou so much shamelabboush it is totally beastial. I am sorry I made you cry :) :)
Your poetry regarding childhood is sweet and something any mother could treasure!
Hi C.C, oh heck that means a lot coming from you my dear friend. Awww I am a little speechless at the moment from your beautiful comment, Oh Cindy, what a gem she is too. I love ya heaps dear buddy, always will no matter what. xox (hugs)
Thanks so much SweetiePie I try to write in very simple language so everyone can understand what I am trying to say. Thanks again your comment are very well received. xox
BP dear, you are a most gorgeous butterfly that has metamorphosed into a queen of Lepidopteras. Being full of aposematism you are not one to bugger with in the wrong way.
Aww C.C I even googled two of those words to find the meaning. Thank-you buddy, being compared to a butterfly makes me feel very beautiful indeed. (hugs) xox
It's such a lovely moving poem. I'm so sorry for all those bad experiences. This is the first time I have visited your hub; I have never thought that the bubbly blondepoet in the forum had some sad memories. I'm happy to know that you still have managed to become as lovely as you are now in and out despite all those. Cheers to that! =)
Thank-you so much Charia yes my past has been quite dramatic, I told my part story in http://hubpages.com/hub/Raped-But-Living and I have another hub on my battle with Anorexia. As I wrote in my hubs at one stage my life was hell, but I have truly moved past it, it has been a lot of hard work but I will never look back. My life is truly happy now. Thank-you so much for your beautiful comments. xo
My heart aches for you. beautiful poem.
Very nice Deb!
You have bared your soul...and you are as beautiful as your poem. Thank you.
Thank-you so much Paris for such a beautiful comment xo
This is heartwrenching. I salute your honesty and courage.
I just can't find words to describe that Poet, an open heart laid bare on Hubs, every single word burning its tale, best poem I have ever read and I salute you for highlighting child abuse. As Chris A says, heartwrenching, reading it broke mine, you are an amazing Poet and an amazing friend, many hugs xx
Oh my , The pain, sadness,hurt, You did a very good job at getting your point across. Thank you.
Thank-you so much Cris, that means a lot. Love ya buddy. xox
Hi CG, your comments are just beautiful and I thank-you so much for your support and your kindness. xoxo
Little Grandma thanks a million for coming by to read it and for your kind words. xox
When children get hurt, it tears me up inside. It's painful most esp. because the wounds will have a ripple effect when the child grows up. Deb, it is such a moving poem and as always makes me want to run to the little child for a comforting hug. Hugs...
Aww thankyou RP that means a lot.I am the same to see children suffer is the worse pain I can feel. I also am big against animal cruelty, that also gets to me. I am just a huge softy lol. Have a great day beautiful xoxox
This kinda took me unawares. I've always thought of you as a toughie, which you must definitely are. But its beyond intriguing to know your delicate features. Child abuse is a sick sick thing. And to be honest with, I can really do harm to such people molesters, and I probably will too, If I ever saw one. However, this is about you, so all I gotta say is keep ya head up and stay as free a spirit as you can possible be. Dont ever perch on the branches of trees of old painful memories.
Aww Fiery thanks for coming by. I guess all the events of my childhood has made me pretty strong, however I am a softy inside lol. In a way it is pretty cool as I can offer help to a lot of people from my own experiences. It has also made me love life and as you know Fiery I whoop it up like there is no tomorrow. You are a sweetheart. (hugs) xox
blondepoet,
Sometime words (mine in this case) are not enough - thank you.
Thank-you so much Phil just you being here means much to me, I am so glad you came by. xo
Brilliantly moving poem. Speaks volumes.
Thanks so much Sixty, boy oh boy, how have you been? Heck it has been a long time...If you possibly read this can you please email me a link to Virtual Tree, I reinstalled XP and cannot find the address at all :( (hugs)
Blondepoet, you are so amazing. I never know whether your hubs are going to make me roar with laughter or break my heart. You go girl!
lovely hub thanks for sharing......
Oh thank-you so much Dolores I always appreciate your gorgeous comments, thanks again (hugs)x0
Hey Brenda and thank-you so much for taking time out to read this. Hope all is going great for you (hugs)x0
blondepoet, my dear friend, your talent is amazing yet you apply it to serve our community's great needs. I have never read a hub of yours that doesn't contain a message/moral that we can't relate to in our daily life. You have brought reality with all its sweetness as well as its bitterness in your hubs in order to remind us that we are not alone though many suffer alone. You have a great talent in expressing the human feelings, which sometimes we ourselves tend to hide or bury. With your writing, and by the help of this little community we have here i think we can speak out loud our thoughts and help those who have no shoulder to rest their heads on when the light starts to dim.
Yes child abuse is a treacherous crime against humanity and no matter how terrifying or traumatic the experience is, the crime shouldn't remain in the darkness. For all our brothers and sisters out there, i say find your voice in us, find faith in us, that you can speak the sorrowful truth and whether or not people believe you, YOU SHOULD KNOW that WE ARE ON YOUR SIDE and ready to give you the hand in order to help you up.
Oh Uriel you are so lovely it is incredible. I cannot thank you enough for leaving such a lengthy inspiring comment.I think because I have been through every bad thing there is to know, it has given me the abilty to express the pain and human suffering that goes along with it so much easier. The fact that I have pulled through it all with such a love in my heart and strong drive in life, is certainly hope for others. When I know I have helped someone through that is the greatest reward for me I could ever hope for. Love u heaps Uriel. (hugs) xox
Where, how did you find your voice? I am 54 and still terrified, I am trying but nobody is there, the legacy has been the ability to engender disrespect and to alienate anyone who has ever tried to become close to me.
After the abuse stopped I began to shred my own life to peices, and it is almost as if just now I am waking up. I am SO scared, Your poetry is beautiful and spoke directly to my heart.
Thank you.
Thank-you so much Monawrites. I am so sad to hear that you are still suffering I really am. I found the more I have talked on all the bad things from my past the more it has helped. I too, never had anyone to share things with, so writing them down has been an enormous healing for me, as indeed people have listened and their support is just wonderful. Maybe you too could write of your experiences. I got to the stage in my life in early 20's where I decided enough was enough, I forced myself to adopt a positive attitude, I had enough of suffering. I have practised genuine forgiveness, the power of forgiveness is amazing.It does not mean we have to put ourselves in the line of those who have hurt us, but inwardly forgive. I wish you all the best, it sounds you have suffered for far too long, and you deserve to be free, and to enjoy the years now before you. (hugs) xo
Its hard to say anything, but well done.
This is one of the most beautiful poems i've ever read blondepoet!
I'm so overwhelmed and dont know what to say. I'm almost speechless.
I still say slow and painful capital punishment for all offenders. Children are very weak and vulnerable, and NOBODY, ABSOLUTELY NOBODY, has the right to harm children, whether its their child or not.
One of the greatest and moving hubs i've read in my few months at HP.
GodBless.
It is very hard easy1 but yet another voice that had to be heard. Thanks so so much :)
Dear viryabo your beautiful comments just made my heart sing. I just am feeling so uplifted lol, truly, by what you said. That means the world to me, thank-you so so much for making my day. xoxoxxo
*glomps* (I still don't know what that means..)
Hey, where you at?!
Thanks so much mtwzh123 for reading it :)
Hey Izzy have swine flu am getting better now though. Thank god for that it's been the worst times. Missed u guys. xox
hiya just wanted to say hope you are well.... have the lullaby on whilst i am typing.... missed ya
Aww hiya Brenda have missed you this much __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I am sitting up this morn and am going to make the most of it. Love ya heaps. xoxox
Swine flu? So that's where it went--down under. =)
I'll replicate you some chicken soup. Or maybe some pork broth, just to get back at the pigs.
This must have been difficult to write but then again, I've looked up to your courage and honesty. Continue to be blessed and a blessing to others :D
What a sad little poem. As a survivor of abuse I know how this little girl felt. So often we walk a path alone.
This one got me. I loved it, especially the wrap up. You have such a gift for being able to talk about difficult things in a way that's not overbearing. Bravo. I'm very glad you became such a strong person in spite of all of your trials.
i felt myself in your words
Thanks so much Ixxy that soup sounds like the bees knees xox
Hi CrisA I have missed u guys enormously,just been sorting out a few hiccups with my health since getting sick. So great to see u
Ghost thanks so much Im so glad you could relate to my simple message.
Benji thanks so much for your beautiful comment I try to tell it all so simply so people can relate to my messages
Thankyou so much for your beautiful commentloveofnight :) :)
Great to see you, BP. Missed you so much :0)
I followed Tom on over--I agree, great to see you. Things are just not the same with you and Cindy around to keep us all in line -hugs-
Lovely to see you back again, we were all so worried about you :)
:D
Good to have you back - you had us all worried!
Aww Tom thankyou so much I have missed you guys more than anything. My life went on a bit of a downhill starting with being hospitalised after swine flu ravaged me. Its been a slug back love u all xoxoxox
Hey Am I Dead aww you guys are the bees knees its been like being separated from my family xoxox
Hey Misty wow this welcome back is just awesome missed u all xoxox
Did you read the whole forum thread about your being "missing", you should, it just goes to show how much you are loved around here. :)
Have just read it Misty I am totally overwhelmed....it is just amazing...I'm actually almost speechless for a change lol.xo
very nice peom I llike this
Then Spring turned into Summer,
As all inside did break,
I punched a boy with all my might,
And smacked him in the face.
Wow - moving and amazing! Best to you, Stephanie
That was truly beautiful and strikes a cord for many
You are amazing!
It was my past too that put this need to express my thoughts through words. I've been writing since about 10 yrs old, i got journals on piles of journals full of my history. That was great and I am looking forward to more!
--The new hubber, Cherilyn
What a heart wrenching poem that make me want to immediately pray for the little ones. Thank you for sharing this touching work of art.
Absolutely brilliant. that said it all really. When I started to read it I thought how good it was, but when I realised what it was about It tugged at me. Fantastic poem in it's own right. lol nell rose
OMG U are kidding me I am 31 And so moved by this...Thank u Vancouver wa
nice hub .same to me..aldo i'm not marry yet....for me is sooooo cute.maybe coz of my age nearly 30..ahhahahah
now thinking when i'm going to find true love
I did Misty and tk so much for also sticking up for me. I love u guys so much xoxoxox
Hiya Lgali aww its always a pleasure to see you, have a great one.xox
Tks a million Steph I just got back so I will catch up with all your hubs too asap. xoxo
Thankyou Wendi that means a lot. :)
Thankyou as well Cheryl I look forward to getting into your hubs too wow I have so much catching up to do. xo
Tk you Steff I am so happy my poem has touched so many, yes when I see a child hurting, my emotion just overflows xo
Nell a big thanks I hope it touched home in a good way for you with inspiration. Have a great day xo
Thankyou so much Rachel,I guess all ages are affected by this hurt on children, it shows your beautiful heart. xo
Sir you will find it probably when you are even not looking :)There is someone to love everyone of us somewhere out there
Really nice poem and superbly written. Thanks for speaking out for all our little ones.
Thanks so much Bail Up I would gladly do it for them anyday.!! :)
......1 in 3....at Least one in 3 of us.
....Probably the most singular common thread of humanity...
...and so I never understood why the word humanity had a positive connotation...
Tks so much privateye2500 yes it happens to far to many, it breaks my heart.
Awesome hub! As an ex-cop, I can honestly say that the quickest way to make most cops go "Dirty Harry" would be a child molester. Proud to say I got a few off the streets!
I read it from start to finish with bated breath...
i miss you so much, give me just one chance to talk with you...i can't forget you!
btw i need to know who's ali!
Love the photo before your poem.
Oh Resspenser how great u popped in, that was amazing to hear from a ex cop, to get their view point. Thanks a million.
Thanks so much Chad, that means a lot. :) :)
Hi someoneyouknow as soon as I create a new name for Skype will mail you, was locked out of the old one for some crazy reason.
Thank-you Fugutive it means a lot you took time out to read my poetry. :) :)
BP, an amazing poem and adding the lullaby at the end both had me in tears. Makes me doubly thankful for the childhood I had and gives me a passion to lend support and prayers to all the little gals who grew up in such pain.
Blessings.
Thankyou Zenani that means a lot. I am so happy you had a happy childhood, something every little child deserves. Have a great day. :)
now you delete my comments, ok...
Hey loved your poem and hated how it reminded me of things that happened in my childhood, but then that not really true as not a day goes by that I'm not remind.
I'll post my poem on the same subject. Iwrote it many years ago and have let the childrens rescue nursery use it as a fund raiser.
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Understanding Child Abuse and Neglect (8th Edition)
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Please Tell!: A Child's Story About Sexual Abuse (Early Steps)
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Child Abuse and Culture: Working with Diverse Families
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Helping Your Child Recover from Sexual Abuse
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Death from Child Abuse... and No One Heard
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Feline Prophet says:
4 months ago
Deb, this is beautiful...so simply told but so moving!