Tiger Leaping Gorge & urinating on a bull:

Tiger Leaping gorge is firstly, brilliantly named and secondly one of the deepest gorges in the world. It’s forged by the Yangtze River and can be found not too far from the town of Lijiang in the Yunnan province of south west of China, the area around the town and gorge is inhabited by the Naxi people. So now we’re up to speed here’s how my better half and I trekked it, cool places to see along the way, 28 bends and where best to stay after the first day’s trekking.

We started our first day at a disgusting time, around 5am, also known as night time. We were then bundled into a small mini van and set off for the gorge, this part of the day is pretty hazy to me as I spent most of the road trip sleeping, it was the middle of the night. This genius tactic paid off and I was feeling fresh and ready to trek when we arrived. The best piece of advice I could give for the trek is remember you’re in China. A sign that says 200 meters to Tina’s guesthouse, should read 600-800 meters to Tina’s guesthouse, directions marked along the trek should be taken with a pinch of salt and local Naxi people you meet along the way will say Ni Hao (hello) and then have a little chuckle at you, take it on the chin it’s meant in good spirits.

You start the trek at a pretty nice pace and gradient, passing through the village’s small school, a few houses, a shop and some farmland. It’s a nice way to get you acclimatised and get the legs going. After around an hour and a half you reach the Naxi family guesthouse, which is a great place to head in and get a breakfast under your belt. I visited the toilets before we set off trekking again, the toilet only really had 3 sides so the farmer stood about 10 meters away really was a distraction, but this is western China and I was used to taking care of business in public, the key distraction for me was the huge pulsating bright yellow spider which I hadn’t notice until it was to late. It was hanging less than one meter from my face and acted as the finest laxative known to man. After I’d told my girlfriend of my trauma and we’d finished our excellent and very cheap meal we headed off for the bit of the trek we feared the most, 28 bends.

28 bends is very winding, very vertical, fairly rocky and for us exceptionally hot weather. As you can see from the 28 bends map, this most gruelling section of the trek takes an estimated 3 hours to clear and we felt every 180 minutes of it. 28 bends is deceiving as there are an awful lot more than 28 bends in the track which when you’re counting each bend and you hit the 28th pretty early on it can break a man’s spirit. At several points along this section of the trek local Naxi people would offer for a small fee to take you up the 28 bends to the top of the track on their hard worked donkeys. We opted for the “it’ll be a better achievement if we do this ourselves” and although it was very hot and pretty hard going at times I think we made the right call. The views from the top were spectacular and they were only improved when an eccentric Naxi man began stroking my freckled arms and brandishing me a tiger, pointing at the gorge, calling me a tiger again and then doing the international tiger roar accompanied with claw hand.

We got a second wind after we had reached the top, and as far as we could see we were now dropping down into a well covered rich forest that would save my forehead from turning any pinker and give our legs a bit of a rest. The views all along the trek are stunning and the sight of the Jade Dragon Snow Mountain following you along the often very narrow, rocky and perilously high paths is break taking, you can go hours without seeing a soul, you never hear the ubiquitous Asian car horn at any stage and you can just enjoy this sight that you will most likely never see again.

By the time we were getting towards the village of Yongsheng and what was quickly becoming the oasis of the Half Way Guest House our legs were starting to feel the strain, our stomachs were rumbling and we had a thirst that needed quenching. A thirst only an ice called Dali beer could quench. When we got to the Half Way guesthouse we were greeted with possibly the greatest beer garden I have ever seen. It was a rickety looking wooden platform that sat above the hostel giving mind bogglingly amazing views of the gorge. It was worth it. The beer was cheap the food came in huge portions and the toilets again only had 3 walls, which this time just gave you stunning, if not slightly surreal views of the Jade Snow Dragon Mountain and the mighty Yangtze rolling by.

Now for how I urinated on a bull. After good company and a few Dali beers we retreated to our now freezing cold hut, once the sun had gone down it became really cold, so when I awoke at 3:30am the thought of leaving the room and walking some distance across the hostel courtyard and down to the 3 sided toilets, the idea did not appeal. After advising my long suffering girlfriend to avert her eyes I opened the window and began to urinate into what I deeply believed was an empty field behind the hostel. I heard the stamping of hoofs and the heavy angered blowing of an enraged bull. I diverted my stream away from this might beast and returned to my slumber.

As we set off the next morning for the much gentler 2 to 3 hour trek to the finish line a large angry obstacle stood in our way. My nemesis, the bull. He was now un-tethered and stood directly in the middle of the small path we needed to venture down. I am no animal expert but I knew he had my scent, at first I though he was here to seek revenge for my un-gentlemanly act, but as we approached he stepped gracefully to one side. My foe had become my friend. We walked on for a couple of more hours with the Chinese signs telling us we were 250 meters away from the end for pretty much the whole way. Now looking back at the trek it was defiantly one of the most rewarding, enjoyable and visually stunning treks I have been on and show’s a beautiful side to China which isn’t often seen.  If you’re lucky enough to be about to trek Tiger Leaping gorge, then I hope you enjoy it as much as we did.