NOTE:  I WROTE THIS ANSWER ON YAHOO ANSWERS AND USED IT HERE. I REALIZED THAT EVERYTHING I WROTE THERE THEY RETAIN ALL INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY RIGHTS.  :(...ENJOY STILL!

I came across this extremely short story I had written some time ago for a contest. It made me giggle from the sheer silliness of it. Enjoy!

Here are the contest rules:

Can you create a funny or entertaining story using these words in the given order? (it's fun..try it!!)? ramshackle
creaky
surprised
mason jar
1800
parasol
mule
time machine
2200
NOOOOOOOO!! "Oh Agnus! Your ramshackle ol' knees keep making some creaky noise! Its setting my dentures on edge! I can't concentrate like this! Stop moving ya hear," came a squeaky voice from a bent over lady attempting to read the local gossip column. "Go get that mason jar, I have another good gossip column I want to put in there!"

A petite woman with thinning hair hobbled over to the corner and quietly lifted away a corner of the floor. "Elma, I don't get you! Why in the world do you stuff your old gossip columns in this mason jar? You should at least put it in a water proof container. What if we had a water leak? What if there was a flood???They would just all be destroyed! You know, you don't have any common sense about these things! What would you do with out me?"

"I'd get some peace and quiet, and I sure wouldn't have to listen to those creaky knees all day! Thats what." Elma muttered as she tried to cut a piece of newspaper but kept missing and cutting thin air.

"Eehhh...what was that. You have to speak up, your in my bad ear!" Agnus lifted a strange contraption to her ear. "Did you say you had a sneaky bee in your hay?"
"Oh just bring me that jar you ol' took! If you got a proper walking stick and got rid of that parasol, you would be here ten days earlier. You look ridiculous with that pink frilly thing in the middle of a snow storm, anyways. Now, what would this make our tally of the gossips ? I would think around 1800."

"Well last count i had was around 1,787 exactly so this plus two from last weak would make 1,791...no no...make that 1,794 to be exact. You know, I once was a great mathemitician. ISo what was the column about, eh?"

"Well you know that ole mule of a man that lives next to the butcher over on Dinkle Hop St.?" Elma squinche up her face to show her disgust of such a neighborhood.

"Are you talking about my old beau Edgar?"

"No not Edgar, Edgar died in '92 Agnes. I am talking about his brother. You know the one with the greasy moustache and parts his hair from one side of his head to the other because he lost his toupee in the Sunday brunch the church had last week."

"Oh you mean Paul, I dated him for a time while I was dating edgar. I couldn't decide who would make more money. Looks like I should have gone for their other brother Edmund. He became a doctor you know. Lives in some fancy house on the east part of town. He's one of them high tech surgeons that can make you look fifty years younger."

"Well, anyways, he tried to build a time machine out of his refrigerator and put it on top of his car. He gets inside his car and starts it. He steps as hard as he can on the gas and acts like he is taking off down the main street of town screaming year 2200 here I come! While all the towns people are screaming NOOOOOOOO, you're car is in park! ahhhhh hahahaha...that old fool actually thought he could time travel with his car in park! He should have been more intelligent and put the car into gear!

The end

Hope you guys enjoyed it!