Time To Decorate (Poetry for the Married Man)

It's that time of year again, in limbo between Christmas and Easter, spring is just around the corner and the mornings are getting light again. The mood is changing and people are starting to find their smiles, looking forward to those long lazy summer days, sipping lemonade on the lawn and enjoying the grilled barbequed meals shared with good company and followed by a refreshing chilled sparkling wine.

Lovely thoughts to keep us through the cold winter months until spring is sprung.

But before we can relax into spring, there is one more project in the home that needs to be taken care of that starts with an "innocent" remark from the wife.

"I think we should move the furniture around a little in this room to make more space".

All men everywhere dread those words, because when you get down to the nitty gritty, it is eventually translated to "lets decorate the whole house, top to bottom."

Yes it's decorating time again before spring is sprung and the flowers start to bud.

Time to decorate

Home from work, time for a break

A candle lit dinner, your favorite steak,

She pours you a beer, then massages your back

And whispers sweet nothings, she's on the attack.

You notice that she's wearing that little black dress,

And the black fishnet stockings, she's out to impress

As she sits at the table the big guns come out

Those come to bed eyes and that sensual pout.

She draws you a bath, and strips you bare

She scrubs your back and washes your hair

Then she strips off too and jumps into the tub

And giggles a little as she soaps herself up.

Out of the tub she towels you dry

Then she grabs hold of your hand with a glint in her eye

She pulls you upstairs no hesitation

What happens next? Use your imagination.

Afterwards as she snuggles up close

She kisses your chest and then kisses your nose

Then she drops the bombshell that ruins your night

" We need to decorate this house is a sight"

Next day your world is turned upside down

As you follow her all around the town

Wallpaper, paint, brushes and paste

New curtains and bedding that just suit her taste

You get home from work and she hands you a brush

She wants this done now; it's always a rush

Scraping and scratching and pasting and hanging

Painting and drilling bumping and banging

Out with the old and in with the new

The job is done; it's now time for you

As you sit and relax in your brand new arm chair

She gives you a look and a flick of her hair

The next words you hear fill you with pain

"I don't like it we'll have to do it again."