Tipping: Do You Have To Tip the Waiter? How much?
83Eating Out...
Social Contracts and Obligations
Veronica,
I read one of your blogs a while back about tipping in restaurants. Tackle this for me. 1 - Do I have to tip? And 2 - how much do I have to tip? My wife and I are constantly arguing about this.
Brad
Brad and His Wife,
1 - Yes. You have to tip.
The social contract in this country is that patrons tip wait staff. It is not about whether or not you agree with this policy. It is not about whether or not you can afford it. It's the social obligation you're agreeing to when you enter a restaurant.
You may not agree that pharmaceutical companies be able to charge what they do for prescription drugs. But that doesn't mean you go behind the counter at CVS and just help yourself to your meds, and tell the staff there you do not agree with the charges so you won't pay them.
You may not agree with this country's policy of charging for education. But that doesn't mean you show up at Cornell, sit in on classes and tell the professors you aren't paying tuition because you don't believe in it, but you expect to be graded anyway.
Tipping is the same thing. You don't get to inflict your disagreement with the social contract on the waiter in a restaurant. If you drop your prescription off at the drugstore, you pay for it. If you want grades that count from Cornell, you pay tuition. If you want a meal in a restaurant, you tip the waitress.
This is simple. If you don't want to tip, then stick to McDonalds. You can't go to a nice a restaurant, if you can't behave yourself.
2 - How much you tip can vary, but 15 - 25% is the norm. You can't leave less.
Most people in the food industry (that aren't under the table) pay taxes on their income, AND on 15% of what they carry. That means, if you don't tip at least 15% of your bill, your waiter is practically losing money. You're stealing from him.
Sometimes it is more than appropriate and expected for you to tip higher than 15%. Some of the factors that you should consider are how many staffers worked for you, from the hostess that seated to you, to the busboy that cleared your plates. The waiter in a decent restaurant has to "tip-out" the busboys, bartender, hostess, dessert and garnish girls, barbacks, dishwashers, ... whatever. In a place where you obviously have a staff waiting on you, 20% is appropriate.
Another factor you should take into account is the length of time you are at your table. You know if you've run past the expected allotted amount of time for your table to dine. Maybe you were discussing business, maybe you're with friends that you haven't seen in a long time and just got caught up in conversation. In any case, your not surrendering the table in the assumed allotted time frame, means a seating your waiter missed. If your waiter was working hard for you, then you should be recognizing his patience and loss of income in your tip.
In my profession as a ghost writer, I often have business lunches or dinners with writers and editors that run three or more hours. It is not uncommon for me to hold up my table for 2 full seatings. If the waiter is patient and polite, I tip 100%. No, that's not a typo. If the average table seems to be in and out of the restaurant in 90 minutes, and I am there for three hours, I tip 100%. First of all, in addition to eating, I'm drinking. So the waiter has made several trips to the bar and back, and has then most likely made several more as I have coffee. Additionally, I can be difficult about my food - no butter, nothing fried, blah blah blah. The waiter at my table has most often earned his tip and then some. He's lost a seating because I stayed so long. So yes. Absolutely. If my bill is $100, I leave a $100 tip.
And this brings me to my last point. Ok, you're upholding your side of the social contract. What if the wait staff breaks theirs? What if the service truly sucked? You can't punish your waiter because you didn't like the food, the kitchen staff messed up, or the hostess lost your reservation. But what if you see your waiter standing around talking with staff while you've had an empty wine glass for 25 minutes. What if he's been rude. What if he forgets you, or fucked up your order. What then.
I have mixed emotions on this. Personally, I would never leave less than 10%. I know how hard it is to wait tables, and I always try to assume the waiter is human and is having a bad day. There is a difference between honest mistakes and sincere apologies, and a rude obnoxious person who clearly does not give a shit. Anyone can have an off night. But to answer your question Brad, if the social contract is broken, then you are not obligated to tip.
If the waiter was really that rude that you just can not bring yourself to tip him, then I'd suggest speaking to the manager. I see no reason why the busboy and bartender should be punished for the waiter's idiocy, and there's no reason for you to ruin your reputation in the restaurant. Believe me, they remember who stiffs. You don't have to make a scene. But when you are leaving you could ask the hostess to let you speak with the manager or head waiter for a moment. Privately and quietly, you could give him the 15% tip and ask him to make sure it goes to the "tip-out" staff. Tell him you felt the waiter didn't deserve it but you didn't want to be known as a customer that doesn't tip, as you'd like to come back to the establishment some day.
* If ya liked this HUB please hit the "Thumbs up" just before the comments! Thanks!
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Comments
livelonger, you have every right to break your side of the contract, when the server broke their side first. 3 times - unless you're 12 you're not doing too badly ;)
I'm a waiter in Mahattan, and I have a customer that tips me 100%. She always has a Dell laptop and lots of papers and meets with different people. they take the table for hours, and want tons of water and drinks. she comes in maybe once a month. Thanks for this article, its good for other customers to see why she always gets the best table, and the best service.
oh and hey veronica if there is any chance you are my customer, I am the waiter that commented on your high heels and you smiled. you are welcome in my section any time.
I think this is a great hub, it is really common for people not to know how much to tip, and this just lays it all out. Thanks!
Thank you so much Carey Yo!
I was on a date in a really nice restaurant. Everything was perfect. He left a $10 tip on a $200 meal. Why would anyone be that mean? I never went out with him again. I'll never forget that. He revealed everything I needed to know about him in that one dumb action.
There is something so disgusting about a person that under tips. I never thought about the time factor before. That really should be part of your thought process when deciding on the tip.
Wow some very good points. You are right about it not being about agreeing with tipping or not. It's the way it is. When you go into a restaurant you know it is part of the social contract. I bet yourfood doesn't get spit in, Veronica
Dino, thanks for reading my articles and for all your great comments today!
Funny you should say that about my food not containing spit. When I worked for a large company years ago, a group of about 8 of us would go to this one restaurant for coffee after lunch sometimes. Since it was "just coffee" many of my coworkers felt they didn't have to tip. That was ridiculous. The same guy would wait on us, and would have to clean up after us, and carry all the coffees and milk and creamer and soy etc. We would take up a huge table in his section, and you know for a fact he was making crap because he was "supposed" to be earning tips, AND paying taxes on 15% of what he carried...
Anyway, I always left him $5. Even though my coffee was a buck, I always left him $5 because I felt bad that no one tipped him. One day he was putting our coffees down, everyone was talking, not paying attention, and I could hear him speaking to himself as he set each cup down. I assumed he was saying - decaf, espresso, .. you know, what everyone had ordered. Then I heard him as he put mine down.
"The one without spit."
And I whispered to him, "Excuse me?"
And he repeated, with emphasis. "The ONE without spit."
Check your ticket, look at the tax amount - double the tax amount - this is your tip. Easy -- just double the tax amount
Shirley, maybe where you live that works out and is acceptable. But where I dine in NJ - NY area, that would be 15-16%. That's a low tip. I couldn't do it. Especially if I want to eat there again and receive great service.
thanks for weighing in!
Great article!
I wanted to comment specifically about Shirley's comment.
I'm a waiter in NYC and if someone leaves me 15% sometimes its fine. I don't want to make it sound like I can tell who can afford what. But in general if an older couple comes in and to me looks like they are on a fixed income and they order the specials, and not alot of cocktails or apps and dessert, I assume they are budgetted out for the night and I am happy for the 15%. Also, they almost always come ahead of the crowd and eat early so accomodating them is usually not too hard. So Shirley that is probably fine.
On the other hand though like Veronica is saying through-out the article, all things weigh together. If the customer is ordering lots of Apple-tini's, and apps and everything and I ran my ass off for a couple hours, then they lingered over dessert holding the table, and they are wearing Prada or whatever, and they leave me 15%?? You can bet I'm telling the manager and they are going "the C list".
Where I work we have an A list, a B list and a C list. A listers are people that are really nice, tip well, and preferred all the way around. (Veronica you'd probably be on that list.) B list are just ok %15 percenters, and an older couple on a fixed income would be there. C list is for people that have been very difficult, didn't tip or tipped 15% or under while holding tables and running the waiter, or were no-shows for reservations, and other bad stuff.
(There is also a D list for people we will never serve again. But I won't get into that.) You have to keep in mind that I work in a place that can not accomodate everyone who wants to eat there. We turn people away every day. We're not a place that can seat and serve everyone that shows up every night, which is pretty much the case with family or chain restaurants. We have to make sure our good customers aren't turned away ever.
One other point I wanted to make is that I grew up in rural Pennsylvania. There aren't any 4 or 5 star restaurants in the area. But the good chain or family restaurants they have there (like Olive Garden) I'm sure the waitstaff is used to and happy with 15%. So like Veronica was saying, it really does matter where you are.
A 4 star place in NYC you can't tip 15%. A chain restaurant in rural PA, 15% is fine.
Also Veronica I just wanted to say I liked how you keep making the point that this isn't about agreeing with the way this is. It's just stating that this is the way this is. You're right, it is a social contract. Believe me I would much rather earn an hourly salary and that would be the end of it. It's so demeaning and hard when it doesn't work out that way, when I didn't do anything wrong, but the people just think they don't have to abide by the way this industry is.
That was a long one, Billy! You should do a HUB yourself!
I didn't elaborate enough in my last comment. Like you were saying, all things weigh in. For some people, 15% is probably fine, you're right and Shirley is right. But for me I have to take into account that I order a couple bottles of wine or rounds of martinis. I order appetizers, and desserts, and can be difficult about my meal requesting no butter or cheese. Often I am conducting business so I "linger" like you said, holding the table.
I, personally, considering all of the above, can't leave 15%. It would be an insult. But I totally see your point. Someone who is a "15%-er" doesn't hold the table twice as long as they should as I would, doesn't send the waiter to the bar 11 times, doesn't order 5 separate courses, wants to eat at 8:00 PM and so on. I'm not a 15%-er, I'm more of a 30 - 50 %er because of all those details.
And THANK YOU for noting that I am not defending the system, or saying it's right. I am just stating the way it is. I'm with you, Billy; I wish you just made a fair hourly salary and I could just stop worrying about this.
Wow guys, thanks for the comments!
Obviously it depends where in the world you're from, but in the UK, (which I know are renowned for being bad tippers), it's usually a couple of pounds per person.
When I lived in California it can be anything from 10% - 25% depending on who you go out to eat with. I genuinley think 10% is more than enough as a service charge.
Great article. I agree, I don't like that the industry is like this, but that does not mean I would ever insult the waiter or be a jerk. I would never leave less than 20% if everything was good. 10% is an insult. 15% was the norm for a long time but that changed when people's dining changed. Education Articles, leaving 10% really is a huge insult to the restaurant and waitstaff. It doesn't matter that you think that's enough, it's not. The waiter pays income tax on 15% of what they carry to start with, so you just cost that person that worked hard for you, money.
I want to reiterate what Education Articles said about it being region-specific. If you tried to tip in Berlin, they would look at you like you're insane! And, worse, if you left a couple Euro on the table as a tip (after getting coffee or the like), they would be highly insulted; German waiters are paid much better than American ones, and they don't need your pocket change! (This is just the attitude, not me!)
Otherwise, this is a GREAT hub about tipping. Thumbs up!
Yes, I am speaking about the USA only. thanks.
They pay taxes only on the amount of $'s that they claim and report to the IRS. Lots of that money is cash and goes tax free. I have a friend that is a great RN and never receives a tip for taking care of their 'costomers'. . . is that fair?
I suppose I'm a little late to the party with my comment, but I was fortunate enough to have dated a bartender once who taught me how to tip. If the service REALLY sucks then I leave 15% but never any less. Usually it's somewhere in the 20-30% range for waitstaff and 50%+ for bartenders. They have a special place in my heart. :)
Your hub and all the comments really touched my heart. My first job as a teenager was in a local luncheonette, where I did everything from making the early morning urns of coffee, to waiting on folks at the counter, to making breakfast on the grill, to making the sandwiches at lunch, to, finally, cleaning up the prep and service areas at the end of my shift. My day started at 5 in the morning and ended just after lunch.
You know who my absolute best customers were? The guys who came in for coffe and a hot breakfast first thing in the morning. They were truck drivers, plumbers, mechanics, carpenters. They would read the newspaper or have a conversation with a pal. They were pretty much in and out, since they had to go to work. At a total tab of about two dollars for breakfast, not one of them ever failed to leave me a dollar bill of my own.
Those guys understood and respected the social contract, big time, and set a wonderful example for others.
Like Gilly, I'm a little late to this party. But, Veronica, your advice is timeless. Thanks for giving us all a great hub to read and respond to.
Wow, Sally. Thanks so much for your comment. You really understood the spirit of the piece.
It's not about whether or not you "agree" with tipping. I was very clear about that. It's not a choice. Tipping IS the way it is, it's the social contract. And if you can't abide by it, you shouldn't eat out.
Thanks so much for your comment and for sharing your first job with us. You made my day.
Well I'm even later to the party as I followed Sally's Trove here:-) but have to say kudos Veronica--I'm going to add a link to this hub to one I did on advice for foreign visitor to the USA. many Europeans just don't understand how to tip in American restaurants and this hub with all the wonderful comments from people who actually do the job is the best explanation I've ever seen--well don and a BIG thumbs up!
Thank you so much, robie2. You guys have definitley made me smile :D
Ben is WRONG.
I am always surprised by how ignorant people are about tipping. Most people don't realize waiters are exempt from minimum wage. If they are allowed to keep their tips, they only have to be paid $2.13 per hour. 15% of what they carry is factored into that, and recorded, and submitted with the W2 to allow for the payroll to be only $2.13 an hour. It's not about what the waiter reports. What a jerk.
Additionally, Ben, had you read the article, you would know it isn't about whats fair. Veronica states she doesn't think it's fair. What is wrong with you? It's about the social contract.
Ben, don'tparticipate unless you READ the article, and KNOW the facts.
I had to weigh in on what Education Articles Said. Dude! 10%? In California? What is wrong with you? I can't even fathom how much spit you've ingested in your life for dis'ing waitstaff. I realize you only posted here so you could spam your site. But don't you think more people would click on your site if you had said something smart? You posted that you take money away from some poor waitress trying to earn an honest living and you think that's fine. Who is going to check out your site, knowing you're an schmuck?
Did this hub get linked somewhere? I love all the new attention.
Patrick, you're right about the $2.13 an hour. I am always surprised when people think waiters make such great money.
I appreciate that you've straightend Ben out on all his misconceptions.
Attack, I know... I know. And I agree. But let's keep the name calling to a minimum.
I try to post all the comments I get, sans spam. But I do occasionally delete one that was posted by a total idiot who hasn't read the article, spews bullshit, or takes away from the general feeling of the hub. In this particular hub, i deleted a stupid comment from a hubber that posted an America bashing comment, slamming the USA. It drew a shit storm of other Captain America posts. I wound up deleting it all. It wasn't what the article was about, and I will be damned if I was going to let that shithead hubber hijack MY hub like that.
So lets all be civil. We can disagree, we can discuss, but lets remain above the trash. ;)
Besides, Education Articles has probably paid the price for his poor tipping like you said, lol.
Oh Gosh Veronica-- I hope the spammers didn't come as the result of my linking you to my hub "Welcome to America We Accept Euros" it's a tongue in cheek guide for European visitors--gets a certain amount of international search engine traffic. I hope the America basher didn't come from me--prolly not given my traffic numbers LOL but if so--sorry and I totally agree with you about deleting spam. This comment section is an excellent and informative thread--coffee without spit is definitely worth a decent tip and some people need to learn that the hard way --others can do it on hubpages --Yeah Veronica<claps hands>
robie2,
lol the spammer came before you. But even if it didn't, don't ever worry about that. A few spammers is worth the price of a fun link. Link your Euro hub here, maybe some traffic will head your way in return.
Thanks for your comments, I love them!
Lets get back to basics here...I know I'm going to stick out like a sore thumb...but I can never resist a controversy...What was the original reason for the TIP???You got a service at a place where someone other then the business owner did something for you i.e.cut your hair, polished your boots, carried your bags. This person works and gets a wage for doing his job=>He did it especially great=>he got a tip from the really satisfied customer. He did a lousy job he got nothing...
I don't like going out too often to eat so when I do I expect eveything to be just perfect...The last time my daughter and I were out at a really swancky high end steak house...(Graduation celebration) My bill was well over a hundred for the two of us the food was just great--out of this world great--the waiter sucked.The worst I have ever had a missfortune to have to deal with.......There is no way I was leaving him a tip, no matter what. I'm not hard to please honest...If I ask for something extra at the restaurant, I expect to get it within a reasonable time...we didn't get our menue, our drinks, amongst other things and as I'm not a animal who eats right out of a bowl or off the floor..to expect to get cuttlery is I would say a basic and reasonable request...the food would have been stone cold if I would not have went and got some myself. The other two tables he was in charge of were occubied by a bigger group of business men naturely with a expense account...They didn't wait for anything...The waiter was at their beck and call...knowing full well that he was going to get a bigger and fatter tip from those tables. He did not deserve a tip, the chef did. When it came time to pay I pulled the manager aside and did my complaining. I insisted that the chef get the tip but the waiter not.
To make a long story longer the reason of the tip is gone if its expected. In my opinion do a good job you'll get a tip, do a fantastic job you'll get a bigger tip...but don't preach and tell me I HAVE to give a certain--% as a tip...In my world that will never happen (by the way I did leave a 25.00 dollar tip for the chef) My two cents worth regards Zsuzsy
Zsuzsy,
This is covered in the article. It covers when the waiter breaks the social contract. Here's a quote from the article you're commenting on:
"If the waiter was really that rude that you just can not bring yourself to tip him, then I'd suggest speaking to the manager. I see no reason why the busboy and bartender should be punished for the waiter's idiocy, and there's no reason for you to ruin your reputation in the restaurant."
So, no one "preached to you" and told you you have to tip when the waiter breaks the social contract. The article in fact says, I agree with what you did and suggests people do the exact same thing.
I was just writing my second "read the article before you comment" comment, when I lost the page. When I got back in I saw you already responded. This is someone who uses words like "preach" and uses all capitals in a word, and states how they can't resist a controversy, and uses 3 question marks as if they are calling you out on something, only to reiterate exactly what you said in the article in the first place? I don't get it. They were thinking of the chef, you were thinking of the busboy, who I'm sure makes a hell of a lot less than the chef, but other than that the comment was exactly what you said in the article.
It's fine. Actually I just joined Zsuzsy's fan club, and I recommend this hub:
http://hubpages.com/hub/Compatible-Planting-
I didn't know any of that about what vegges are friends with other veggies. It makes sense now why my sage and my rosemary failed, all planted together.
LOL...LMAO...ROTF, too.
Ben, Zsuzsy is one of my absolute favorite hubbers. You can learn a lot from her.
Veronica, yours is a great hub, and the comments are priceless.
Going back to those early years of mine, I was paid 35 cents an hour for my work at the luncheonette. This was way below minimum wage at the time, and long before the US IRS dipped into tips. Somehow, a job waiting or carrying luggage or shining shoes or dressing hair (add as many service jobs as you like) came up in our social contract as something that employers didn't pay much for, and left to their customers to make up the difference so that the employee could eat, feed children, and pay taxes. And all of that is fine with me. I delight in excellent service, and I am willing to pay for it. In fact, I like the idea that the service provider gets my money directly (more or less) instead of getting it filtered through the employer. (I could go on and on about this regarding the benefits from the employer's point of view, as well as how your meal out would cost you double what it does if the restaurant owner actually paid the wait person minimum wage or better, but I'm still LMAO.)
Here's a tip for those who tip...never put the tip on your credit card. Tip in cash. With this "social contract" that we have, cash is less likely to get taxed for the service provider.
(Is there a little emoticon for "choking with laughter"?)
35 cents! Wow. When I was waitressing back in 1982-84 (yes, I am old...) I made $1.02 an hour and my W2 reported 15% of what I carried, and I paid tax on it. I still made it ok because I wasn't one to break the social contract. I was a very good waitress. And like you, the guys that knew the meaning of a buck were always my best customers... and always got the freshest biggest piece of pie ;)
Oh and thanks for the tip on tipping! Cash not CC is great. Where I worked, they deducted the credit card fee from my tip, which at the time was 10%.
Veronica, I'm going back to 1963. There. I've confessed it.
I had another job during holidays and summers with my mother's company. They paid min wage, and no tips! I loved both jobs.
You know, who we are today and what we do and what our expectations are, all go back to those childhood years. Kids today are so busy with soccer, ballet, band, music lessons, and whatever that their parents provide for them, how are they encouraged to participate in the economy?
Like I said, yours is a great hub! Most provoking.
Hi Veronica,
Two things,,,,my mom waitressed/bartended for 40+ years. She definitely relied on her tips. She was the best waitress that place ever had, it was/is a seafood restaurant by the water, and the clientele were lawyers, doctors, as well as the general public. In all those years she was never 'stiffed', she at one point could have bought the place. Every time she was out of work, her customers always asked where she was, which was usually in the hospital for one surgery or another. The customers and her employer sent her gifts and well wishes for a speedy recovery because they loved her, and missed her. She also survived 3 or 4 different owners, each new one kept her on. There were times they would piss her off and she'd quit and walk out, but it never lasted, they begged her to come back, and she always did. She was a super waitress with a great sense of humor. She always impressed upom me the importance of a good tip :)
She did really well in the tip department, it was how we could afford our every other year cross country drive to visit our relatives.
What baffles me is WHY do these services pay so poorly? On one hand, (if you're good) you're busting your butt to do a great job not only for the employer, but for the customer as well. I'm not suggesting tipping should be done away with, but it shouldn't be what the wait person has to depend on for a living,,,just my opinion.
Thanks for a great hub!
Patty
Patty,
Thank you so much for sharing with us the story of your mom! She sounds so wonderful! I've had several jobs other than writing in my life, most of which were in credit and collections at large corporations. I was also a pizza delivery driver, a shoe salesman, a truck dispatcher, and for years I was a veterinary assistant. By far waiting the tables was the hardest work I've ever done.
I appreciate what you're saying, that the waitperson shouldn't have to depend on tips. But unfortunately it is. I also don't think it's fair that professional basketball players make ridiculous money, while soldiers and teachers make crappy salaries. I don't think it's fair that in this country we have to pay what we do for medical insurance. And I don't think it's fair that college tuition is as high as it is. I hate that Brittany Spears makes so much more money than social workers, and that there aren't more social workers, and animal cruielty officers, because the money isn't there in those departments.
But guess what. Life isn't fair. I say this with gentleness. Life isn't fair.
That is why it is so very important for all of us to treat as many people as fairly as we possibly can. Shorting a waitress is not fair. That was the point of the whole hub.
Thank you for hearing me.
Hi Veronica,
Yes, I understand the point you made. So much in life isn't fair, sad to say. That's why it's so important to show our appreciation, whether monetarily or in deed to those who truly serve. I love the idea of 'give someone a smile, it might be the only one they get all day'.
Patty
Veronica! I was not preaching by all means.I did read your whole article as I read all the articles that I comment on. I just get hot under the collar when I'm told what to do with my hard earned money. Your hub was great as always. This tipping demand is one of my pet peeves as you can tell by my comment I'm sure.
Ben! No matter what you might think the busboy did not make my meal taste any-better. Also He was the one who originally forgot to prep the table with cuttlery.
I think waiting on tables can be one of the toughest jobs. As I said when done right waiters and waitresses deserve their tips.
regards Zsuzsy
Great Hub! Having waitressed myself through college at one point, I want to chime in with a few points.
As a waitress, I had a group of African American women tell me one time, "Honey, you did a GREAT job, but black people don't believe in leaving a tip - sorry." Um, no - they DO. YOU just don't. They took up a two-top for four hours and left nothing - and told me this AFTER I had given them perfect service. I also had a local billionaire (literally) tip 10% with perfect service. Guess that's how he got his billions! You never can tell who will tip well and who won't...
I had a homeless man who came in one night to our restaurant. No one wanted to wait on him. I stepped up and gave him 5 star service because I felt he needed it. He had saved his money for it, wasn't spending it on booze, etc. I gave him a doggie bag too filled with extra food to take home. He left and left me a 50% tip!! I had expected nothing, and wouldn't have minded in this instance.
When I tip, I always leave 20% - and 50% if it's good service or just if the waiter/tress is extra nice.
Those who complain that it's "not their job to pay the wait staff," think of it this way - if you DIDN'T tip the wait staff, the restaurants would just all charge much more for your dinner, because they'd have to pay the salaries of the waiters. And trust me, they'd tack on more to make a profit off of it. You're getting off easy.
tiff
I used to wait tables so I know how it is so I always leave a tip. If the service sucks, they get exactly 15%, down to the penny. It's my passive agressive message to them. If it's good, they get roughly 20%, rounded up. If they go above and beyond, obviously I leave more. If I can't afford to leave a tip, I eat at home. In Europe waiting tables is a "respectable" job with real pay and benefits. Here, not so. Waitstaff have to pay for their own insurance more often then not, and they have to pay 15% of their sales in taxes, whether they got tipped properly for them or not AND they have to tip out the busboy. Who is earning minimum wage when they aren't.
Mumma - I'm with you. I can't leave less than 15% and I only leave that if the service is that exceptionally bad.
zsuzsy - I know you weren't preaching, I was quoting you. You said in your comment not to preach to you about tipping. We're all good. ;)
BTW I can't get viney things to grow, like peas, and string beans. Maybe you can help me figure out what i'm doing wrong?
Patty - I am just lovin on you.
Tiffany - GRR! I am so sorry and mad to hear of the way those two examples treated you! And it just goes to show you can never judge a book by it's cover that the person that looked homeless tipped you the best.
One thing I'd like to bring up, having been a waitress about 3 years ago or so - in many states the law reads that if the amount made per hour worked equates to less than minimum wage - including tips - then the establishment MUST pay the waiter/waitress the difference. This system relies, of course, on the accurate reporting of tips by the employees.
Remember too, there is such a thing as excessive tipping. If your waitstaff only does the bare minimums of what their job entails, has the personality of a wet noodle and no spring to their step, don't pay them 100% tips.
To Insure Prompt Service, as I'd always heard it. When I tip, I tip at least 15%, and if the service was exemplary, I've been known to tip up to 30 dollars on a 70 dollar tab. The servers -know-, they -remember- and even if it's just in passing or by what drink you order, they'll figure out what you've done. Whether or not the server claims all of the tip you leave is on their head after that.
One time - years ago - I went to dinner with a group of friends. One of the men put a 20.00 bill on the table right when the server arrived. He said something like "If we don't have to fight to get your attention, and if you don't make us ask for everything we need, this is yours and we'll add to it." We got great service and added our normal 10% (it was good then) -- I have adopted that trend on occasion and it has always "served" me well.
Myself and even my children have all waited tables in our lives. It's hard work, and people can be nuts. They deserve good tips if you get good service. and helpful reminders if they don't.
However, I don't usually tip more than 20% and if we're in a large group, and everyone does 20%, they still make out VERY well. My brother, when he was making good money tipped everyone -- the cook, the dishwasher, everyone. I could never afford to go out to eat if i did that. I don't want to pay their rent, just help them pay their rent. LOL
What a great idea Marisue about plopping down the twenty right at the start...I will try that next time. I also did my stint at waiting tables. My tips were always better when I was scheduled in the beer garden compared to the dinningroom.
regards Zsuzsy
This is a little off from the tipping the waiter thing, but it's the same principle. Once in Vegas, I sat next to this guy at the poker table. As soon as he sat down he tipped the dealer. (For those of you that don't gamble, when you win a hand, it is customary to tip the dealer a chip or two.) He told me it's an energy thing, he invites luck his way when he does that.
I have made it my custom ever since. I'm not a gambler, but I enjoy the game of poker, and will play on occasion in Atlantic City or Las Vegas if I happen to be there. Ever since I started doing that, I've never left the table a loser. I may win a little, I may just break even, but I've never lost. so maybe there is something to it! ;)
Gamegirl, just one point I want to reiterate is, that when I'm doing business, I hold a table for more two times the proper time. In a normal restaurant the average seating is every 90 minutes to 2 hours. I have absolutely been known to stay 4 hours working out a contract. If I tipped 20%, it's like the waiter had 2 10% tables, and that's not right. I don't want to be rushed, but I also realize he's trying to make a living and I don't want to prevent him from getting the correct amount of tables for his station. That alone helps my tip go to 40 - 50% easily. The rest of my tip depends on the extras - not the normal expected service, but all the extras, like a gazillion trips to the bar for the perfect martini's ;)
Zsuzsy, I had to smile at your comment about the beer garden. The best waiting jobs I ever had (and I had plenty since I was a teenager) were in the alcohol venue.
To finance my trip to Europe when I graduated from college, I got a job at a local bowling alley. We had to wear hot pants (how dated is that?). I pulled the nights for the mens' leagues. The tips from these fantastic guys financed my trip to Europe and more. They ordered rounds and rounds of beers and whiskey. Sometimes, however, I pulled the ladies' leagues. They ordered rounds and rounds of whiskey sours and orange blossoms and sweet minty green things that I can't remember the name of. They tipped little or not at all (might have had something to do with the hot pants).
Later, I worked in a disco doing cocktails. Lots of young people, people on dates, people looking out to meet dates. Tips? Not so good. Except for the trades guys.
I go back to those men at the luncheonette (see my previous comment to this hub), and the guys at the bowling alley. Working men who valued their dollars, and also valued good service. And then, there are people like Veronica and Patty and me, women who have been there and know the value of good service as well as the social contract.
Tiff, I am touched by your story. This homeless man had that ethic about him, and wanted to make it count.
It's all about appreciation. All of you and I can smell an over-zealous, pandering wait person a mile away. This person is not an asset to the meal. It's the sincere person who cares about customer satisfaction and doing a job well, which means going the extra mile to make sure we are happy, who gets our money.
Again, Veronica, what a great hub!
***It's the sincere person who cares about customer satisfaction and doing a job well, which means going the extra mile to make sure we are happy, who gets our money.***
ABSOLUTELY!
Ooh, I like this pic of your Gamegirl, nice one!
I am a waitress at a restraunt. If more people thought like you this would be a better place. This whole article was simply pure consideration. Thanks. My job gets very tough at times. Plus! I work third shit waiting tables. When the freaks come out at night in that song. I mean they do! Drunks, peoples bad ass kids and etc. But I hate when a customer gives me a hard time, runs me, and then leaves a mess to clean up with a $40 ticket and a $2 tip. That is enough to follow people out to their cars and grab them and shove my apron down their throats. When I go out to eat. I tip 50% even when they suck. It is just recongnizing the game or understanding where they are at. You should tip and that is not fair not to. Waiting tables- hell, I'm not working for free!
Thanks Dereka! Great imagery. Anyone who'd leave $2 on a $40 ticket deserves to have an apron shoved down their throats to say the least.
I had a coffee meeting last week, held up a diner table for 2 1/2 hours. My bill came to $4.50. I left $25 tip, and felt bad it wasn't more because I held the table so long, and she was so polite, kept filing my coffee cup and never made me feel rushed.
This is so well written. I enjoyed reading the whole article from start to end because of how well you expressed your thoughts. I have waited tables on and off for 20 years at more than a dozen places in 4 different states. Every place I worked taxed me on 15% of the total of food I carried just like you said. I can't believe there are people that don't realize that.
Doubling the tax in the state of Texas does NOT work most of the time because the taxes in alcohol are not subject to the after price tax...thus doubling the tax on a $60 tab could work out to as low as 3 or 4 dollars...which is unacceptable. Servers even after the minimum wage hike that affects others still make 2.13/ hour, tha same wage as 30 years ago, and are required to tip out up to 25% or more (usually between 3 and 6 percent of their total sales, that means of your tabs) of their tips to other staff, every day. 20 percent is standard and a little more feels good, any less and we wonder what was wrong. Please be considerate and know the costs going in. WE appreciate those who appreciate us.
I work at an applebee's and I have to say I absolutely hate it sometimes. The managers dont care about whether or not the servers are tipped, as long as the customer buys lots of food and pays the bill. It never fails either, every saturday night a group of 6, we dont get gratuity unless its a party of 8 or more, comes in and drinks a hundred dollars worth of alcohol and sits for around 3 hours. This table has never tipped. Our average tip is around 10% sometimes less, with the few good tippers each night. When I spoke to a manager about why were payed so low he said "Because you make tips". So I asked him why we dont automatically add in gratuity, this followed by the respones "We dont want the customers to feel like they HAVE to tip." For christs sake we dont even have a sign stating that gratuity is 15 % because a few managers think that its tacky.
Some people just dont really understand how hard it is to be a server. We dont just take your order, we bring your food, refill your drinks, clean up your mess, and make sure that you have a great time on your night out.
Thanks for these comments. It's important people understand how they are fucking you over when they don't tip appropriately. It's a social contract. Period. If the waitstaff did their part, you have to do yours. Tip correctly, or don't go out to eat.
For many years, as I understand it, 15 percent was the normal, expected tip at restaurants. Now, I believe, it's 15 to 20 percent. Waiters I've spoken to over the years have indicated that many people leave less than the expected tip. My feeling is that waiters are working to put food on their own tables, so it would take some terrible behavior on their part to deprive them of their wages. I don't know, but I have the feeling that many people's tips shrink as their tab swell. I believe diners should always tip well, but, if they receive atrocious service, they should inform the management.
I am living in Germany now where everything is different regarding tips, but when I lived in NYC I tipped like you, V. My daughter, and my step daughter have both waited tables while going to school. They each brought home less than $3 an hour I don't remember exactly how much but it was nothing. They both had that tax deduction you speak of and it didn't even matter if they weren't tipped what they were taxed on!!! You are so right V, it isn't about agreeing with the system or not. It is the way it is and when you are an ignorant jerk about it you aren't getting over on the system, you are stealing from good hardworking people trying to make an honest living. It is great you stressed in your article that it is something else if the waitress gives you bad service. I am surprised how many people focus on that. Don't most people get decent service most of the time? Isn't that the exception? I'm with you with 15 - 25 percent tips in general. 15 if the service was bad and 25 at least in all other circumstances.
William - thanks for the comment. I agree with you. I would never intentionally deprive anyone working hard of their due wages.
Dana - making the rounds today! Thanks! Thanks for sharing that about your daughter and step daughter. You're right, the jerks are not getting over on the system, they are stealing from those hard working people.
working
livelonger says:
15 months ago
There have been about 3 times in my life when the service wasn't just poor, it royally sucked. I've given no tip at all, and felt absolutely no guilt about it whatsoever!