It is never a win-win situation to argue with your mother-in-law. It is very important to choose your battles wisely. Know when to speak and when to be quiet. Situations may arise where you may need to make your feelings known. Do this in a quiet and non-offensive manner. Remember that once you throw those words out there, you cannot take them back. Think twice before speaking.

It is difficult at times especially when one has a difficult in law. The more you include your mom-in-law in important events, the less turmoil you may have. This isn't saying that you must have her participate in everything. Children's birthdays, holdiays and such are good times to create time together. Most people want to feel needed. It is hard letting go of grown children. Sometimes the very fear of losing our kids is the very thing that separates us. Going out of your way as much as possible to include the inlaws, will prove to be a more positive experience. Does she have a favorite dish that she cooks? Remind her how much you love it. Make her feel special. Honey goes way further than vinegar.

You can be honest with your mother-in-law. It is all in how you approach issues. Walking in with an attitude is setting yourself up for bad feelings. Remember that you are in the middle between your spouse and the other important woman in his/her life. If you have a mother-in-law who does not respect boundaries and is always "stopping by". Be gentle and explain that that you love when she comes over but you have so little "alone" time with your hubby or wife. Ask her instead of telling her.