Welcome to CPL i.e. Chappal Premier league. Shoe throwing Tamashaa is here and how. It has now become fashionable to hurl shoes and slippers on our politicians. If you don’t feel that the policies of the government is right, just remove your shoes and hurl at the minister. After doing that you will earn yourself 15 minutes of fame for sure and who knows you may also become toast of nation.

The latest politician to be the victim of this puerile activity was Karnataka Chief Minister. But one man who has impeccable record among the politicians Mr. Manmohan Singh also had to face this ignominy. The person who did this was an engineering student who wanted 15 minutes of fame and boy did he get it. Before that it was P. Chidambaram, the Home Minister.

Well, this shoe throwing menace became famous because of George Bush when an Iraqi journalist threw a shoe at him. What more a game was also developed where as a player one needs to throw a shoe at Bush to earn points. Little that the Iraqi knew that his courageous act is going to inspire alot many people specially in India.

To be honest some politicians need this kind of humiliation. They have stooped below a certain level of decency and conduct. The recent elections in India are a grim reminder about the kind of insane people who are at the helm of affairs. I am listing below the politicians on whom shoes should be hurled at any cost.

Mulayam Singh of Samajwadi Party:

During the latest elections Samajwadi Party released its manifesto which stated that they wanted to ban English language, Computers along with futures and stock trading and merchandised farming. Now what on the earth was on their empty mind when they decided to prepare such an insane manifesto. It seems they are still living in 18^th century. India’s IT sector is pride of India and a major contributor to India’s growth engine. This very thought is bizarre. Majority of outsourcing happens to India and banning English will be suicidal. India’s IT sector is one sources of invisible receipts of payments and one can only imagine what will happen to India’s BOP(Balance of Payment) if we end up banning computers and English. Insanity at its very best.

Number of shoes to be hurled: As much as possible. Even the shoes will feel a touch of disgrace on being hurled on such a moron.

Next in line is Raj Thackeray, who tries to play the messiah of Maharashtra and creates rift among the Indians by dividing them on basis of geography and when 26/11 Mumbai attacks happened, that coward could not muster courage to speak neither could tell his men to come and help those trapped people that day. He only knows how to make big speeches which do not make any sense and is only good at creating unrest in the country. He is far more deleterious to India than any other living terrorist.

Number of shoes to be hurled: Only shoes bought from Maharashtrian shops should be hurled at him. Pun intended.

Narendra Modi: Seems to be inspired by movie “The curious case of Benjamin Button” He first calls Congress budiya(Old woman) and then retracts and calls them Gudiya(Doll or young woman). His hand in Godhra incident cannot be ruled out.

Number of shoes to be hurled: All black leather shoes which have been polished properly so that his face is complete black when shoes are hurled at him.

Going forward many other politicians will be under the scanner not from the terrorists but from these shoe throwers. Barack Obama has also has fair chance of facing the public ire.

Going into the future, I wont be surprised if there is a CPL happening all over the world specially in India and more so during elections. It may so happen that the opposition parties will sponsor people who want to throw shoes on incumbent politicians. There will be rigorous practice of throwing shoes so that the target is not missed. The person who hits the target the most will also win free coupons worth 1 lakh rupees from that political party he is representing. Also this might be a new sport to be introduced at Olympics. The demand for shoes and slippers will increase worldwide.

Some Tips for wannabe shoe throwers:

1) Practice makes a man perfect. So all you shoe throwers who want that your target is not missed start practising atleast 90 days before the D- day. So far not even a single shoe that has been hurled has hit the target. So here is the chance to become the first one.

2) Make a list of all politicians whom you want to attack with your shoes and then shortlist them. Then among from the short listed candidates choose the lucky one.

3) Make sure your shoes are properly polished.

4) Carry a extra pair of shoes incase you miss on the first opportunity.

5) Make sure on the D-day you are sitting as close as possible to the victim. Don’t test your arms by sitting too far, as your chances of hitting the target will go down.

6) Remember the press will be extensively covering the incident, so make sure you are dressed for the occasion. Who knows some TV producers who will be watching the episode on TV might sign you up for his next movie.

7) Make sure you plead guilty after the incident and tell the press you are not angry with the politician but with his party he represents. Chances are you may escape Scot free. After that plan your next assault.

8) Make sure that you don’t tell about your plans to your wife or girlfriend, in all probability you may get arrested before you even launch an attack as women are not known for keeping secrets and they may spread the word about your bravery to the entire world.

9) Select a proper shoe for the event preferably one which you are fed up of using and want to get rid of it.

10) Be confident and believe in yourself and 15 mins of fame will be yours.

P.S. Breaking news on CNN.com, sometime in 2012:

News 1: The leader of the opposition was hurled with 28 pair of shoes from all the side at a rally in Uttar Pradesh, India. A total of 56 shoes were hurled at the same time. 10 were hit on his stomach, another 15 on his face, 10 on his hands and rest missed by a whisker. If we look at the shoes it seems the majority of shoes are from Bata and Reebok.

News 2: India wins gold medal in the newly introduced game of shoe throwing at Olympics. Effigies of famous politicians were put up and Indian team comprising of 2 players hit 10 pairs of shoes out of the maximum 15 pairs. Iraq came second with 8 pairs. Surprisingly the American team came third with 7 pairs.