2 viewpoints here;

Ø The first is from my addiction looking out.

♥ The second is after recovery and seeking to help others.

Ø Darkness is descending, Loneliness is advancing, a cold drink tastes so good and in just a few minutes pain in my heart begins to cease, I put some mood music on, I close my eyes and imagine the girl I loved and danced with.

I had not seen her since I was a teenager yet in my mind I could go back there. Remember when she was in the back room of the church, so dressed up to be a bridesmaid in my best friends wedding. I looked through the lense of the camera and told her I loved her and would she think about me? She said she was thinking about me all the time and I saw it in her eyes and snapped the photo.

The photo was the only tangible thing I had for the next 12 years as I drifted in and out of different levels of addiction. I was a functional addict. I got married, had kids, worked hard, but I kept going back in my mind to the loss of my deepest love. She had written me a letter a few months after that friends wedding, I was working in a different town. A dear John letter, the loss was devastation to my soul. When she sent me a letter, after the dear John letter , I tore it up and tossed it out (without reading it).

I saw her once, (3 years later) I picked her out of a crowd, our eyes locked. I found an opportunity to talk to her for a few minutes. I was married, she was married,

She told me she gave her virginity to someone who looked like me and that had reminded her of me. Why, she said did you not write back after my last letter to you?. I told her I did not read it. She said " I told you in that letter that D**** had helped me write the "Dear John letter" (' she said "I realized it was because she (D****) was jealous and wanted you and was making me say all those things. They were not my words."

My life crashed around me, I began to drink more and more, I could not get this girl off my mind, I drifted in and out of depression, I shut myself off from my wife and sometimes my kids, within 5 years I sabotaged my marriage with adultery in and through addiction, drugs, and alcohol and promiscuity. I called a suicide hotline one time and they said to get over it and take charge of my life. By 9 years into marriage, it disintegrated with no chance of recovery.

Wisdom began to set in at about age 30 and I began drinking less and less. After 3 years I got married again. Life was good for about 10 years and then the sorrow demons came back again, I began to drink more and more and I began to screw up more and more. My wife did not know me anymore, I would come home early in the morning after being out all night, reeking of alcohol, and cigarette smoke, I could not remember some of the night before.In 2 years of that she seperated from me. After a couple of months we got back together but it was never the same, I tried but I could not stop drinking. I worked every day but I drank every night. She would go to bed without me and I would nurse my beer or wine or whiskey until I fell asleep on the couch while watching TV or listening to the music. One night while she was across town and I started drinking early with a friend from work, I got the notion to go to a massage parlor, (the sleazy kind) I allowed the pretty lady to touch me where only my wife should. I confessed 2 weeks later to my wife and she said "I want a divorce". I agreed to seperation, after she put all my stuff out of the house while I was at work. I asked her to wait one year before she divorced me. I pursued her some during that year. Sent letters and gifts at appropriate times. She never recanted or forgave me. Ater 14 months the divorce papers came through. During the time I seeked forgiveness I drank only occasionally, three times I drank too much and had regrets the next morning. By the time 3 months had passed since the seperation, I quit drinking almost all together. I could not remember why I was drinking anymore. I just felt I needed it. I didn't think about the love I lost anymore, I just wanted release from the pain. Drinking was the temporary release. At some point after the conscious decision not to drink, I poured out my heart to God and asked him to help me.

♥ THis is the way, (walk in it my people) At this point in my life I carry a message like that wherever I go. It may take many sessions, for the message to get through to the potential children of God. The message is about Jesus Christ. He is the one who saved me from these addictions. He is the one who gave me new life. He is the answer. I know you want to hear about how to be supportive of an addict. I know you want to hear about listening to their story. I know you want sympathy for their grievances, their suffering, their abuse they suffered at the hands of others. Verbal abuse, Sexual abuse, deprivation.

You can give all that if the Lord has given you the compassion to care and keep caring. Don't give up, but you will be dissappointed by the person you love, you will be deceived by them, you will be outright lied to by them, you will cry with them and you will cry and pray for them. You will try and try and try and cry and cry and cry but the answer is still the same. They need Jesus and if you do not point them to Him, they will remain lost and troubled and eventually they will break so far down that the only way up is through Him. You can try everything else, NA, AA, Tough love, drug replacement therapy, psycological counseling, rehabilitation, intervention, judgement, deprivation, positive reinforcement, but the real thing they need is Salvation and there is no Salvation in anyone else but the Lord Jesus Christ. Period. He is the Way, the Truth and the Life.

Come to God through Him and be saved!

Lord Jesus, come into my heart, show me the true path of Salvation, I know you died for my sins to be forgiven and you live pleading for me before the Father. I give you my life, do with it what I never could do myself. I love you, I make you my Lord.

They will be restored to new life, their senses, and the addictions will be gone.

They will live for Him though so do not expect all their attention. No one deserves their worship but the LORD.

I

I